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Archive for August 8th, 2011

hmmmm....

So finally after months of wanting to and not having enough courage to….I finally quit my job!  I recall a few months ago when I learned of Elizabeth Taylor’s death, that I wrote in my blog it was time to quit my job, and that I should really look at the prospect of doing just that very seriously now, but I hung on and hung on!   Afraid really.  In the event it was done in a fit of anger brought about through months of frustration, but I am pleased that I finally took the plunge! So now it’s ‘sink or swim’ 🙂 or become a rubber ball and bounce back!

On the day in question, I had once again been insulted by a visitor to the house and finally enough was enough.  One of the things I loath is being talked down to by people, and sadly in this type of job, you are just ‘the carer’, a nothing to most people, just there to pick up and clean up and shut up!    I am amazed at my capacity of endurance and by the level of how much I am prepared to endure before I reach my limit!   Actually it was quite ironic that just a couple of days before I quit, I had sent my daughter a text that said “Am I just too ingrained for make do and get on with it, or is my discomfort zone not narrow enough?” and the response I got was “In fact here’s a better idea: stop thinking about it in personal development terms….go back to basics: what the %*@ do you want to do with your life?” 🙂 she also reminded me that it was me who taught her how to be a ‘rubber ball’.

So yeah, good idea! Time to bounce back.  Now, what do I want to do with my life?  I know what I don’t want to do and that is continue working in the same environment I have worked in for the last 10 years. I do want to travel, I do want to get back into an environment where I am exercising my brain, using my skills (of which there are many) and getting my life back.   I have become so old and slow in the last few years, and working in that environment has limited my horizons to such an extent that I still feel like there is a box around me.    It’s almost a physical feeling of limitations. Limitation of freedom… a huge issue for me, as one of my highest values is freedom!  It was in the end horrible to work in an environment where I was unable to just ‘go out’ whenever I felt like it.  I realise I had time off and they were generous, but the feelings of being tied-down were most unpleasant, and slowly but surely it wore me down.

Of course there are other considerations; like the financial issues that I wrote about in my book (How to turn 1p into -£50,000), and of course the obligation to meet my debts is very strong.  So that was a bit of a deterrant to the ‘jump off the edge and let’s see if I sink or swim’ mindset for which I have been known.  However, if I look at the other aspect; the ‘rubber ball’ syndrome then hey I will be just fine!  Finances can be sorted, arrangements can be made and I can in fact use my experience and knowledge to generate the necessary!

I phoned my younger sister that evening (thank goodness for skype) to pour out my woes, I was feeling just a bit terrified at the prospect of no money coming in, in the next two weeks (the limit of my current horizons), and she came up with a brilliant idea.   Like my daughter she is a font of bright ideas. So here’s the thing!  I am 50+, living in a country that to all intents and purposes is going through a recession (or so the papers would lead us to believe), I have been out of my qualified area of expertise for the last 10 years, and in those years have not gained any new quantifiable skills besides all the Personal Development courses I did! Hmmm.

So what to do?  Well the first thing she suggested was that I blog about my new journey, about what it’s like for a 56year-old woman to start off afresh at an age where you are no longer considered viable in the Corporate Field, about how I plan to get back into the job market (if that’s what I decided to do), to share my experiences, good and bad of whatever hurdles or successes I may have.  To sit down and list any new skills I have gained over the last few years – like figuring out how the internet works, learning how to blog, how to do research on google (at which I am getting pretty good), how to build and manage twitter and facebook profiles/pages, and of course now seriously make the most of creating and conducting London tours. Well thats easy, I love conducting tours!

My first step of course will be to write up a skills based CV, and start advertising my services. No! Cheeky, not those kind of services 🙂 ). hmmmm.  Watch this space…….

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