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Posts Tagged ‘family’

I really really need to finish working soon…..I woke up this morning straight into a full-blown panic attack. Scary. I struggled to breathe and my heart felt like it was going to jump out my chest. I’m not sure why!! Is it because I’m beginning to feel really closed in (despite being able to get out for walks), or is it my underlying stress of travelling next week? I don’t know. Or is it because the true reality that life post-lockdown is never ever going to be the same again, is starting to sink in.

Frankly, I’m really glad the planet is getting a chance to recover, that pollution levels are down, and the skies, rivers and seas are benefiting from less traffic, and animals are enjoying the freedom of less humans. But it’s the underlying fear of being in contact with ‘other’ people who may or may not have been exposed to the virus, the fear of inadvertently coming into contact with a smidgen of the virus left by someone else on a bus rail, supermarket trolley, underground escalators and so on. My grandson, although he doesn’t know it yet, is going to grow up in a world where hugging and playing with his school mates is going to be fraught with anxiety, a world where he will be wearing a mask….the most sinister aspect of this whole scenario (besides the virus itself), the worry of hugging my daughter and son-in-law when I visit – the inherent possibility of inadvertently passing the virus on, of entering someone else’s house….are they as hygienic as what I am? Do we still hug family when we see them again? Do we allow anyone to kiss us…even on the cheek? Being tactile could be the death of them or me!! Fortunately I’m not a very sociable person anyway and seldom go to places of high-density gatherings anymore, but there are still times when BC-19 we could just freely and easily mingle….especially the many wonderful London events I used to attend. Will all the amazing historical events go by the board? The annual traditional events around the country? Will I ever get on a plane again? All of these thoughts jumble around in my head…day after day. I leave here next week. I know I’ve been absolutely militant about keeping the house as uncontaminated as I possibly can (even upsetting the district nurses as I’ve said before), but I’ve got to work again…a new client, at new premises….has that environment been kept sterile? And then there’s the fortnightly travel from ‘home’ to work. I feel like just decamping to a remote island ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

The fact that the UK’s death toll is now the highest in Europe doesn’t help either. And I’m not even sure we can trust that the government is giving us the full picture. They did a sneaky job of not reporting the care home deaths in the first few weeks, leading us to believe its less than it was….I’d rather it was less, much less, but to under report the true situation is just dishonest.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/uk-coronavirus-death-toll-highest-europe-cases-covid-19-italy-spain-a9499181.html?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1588669521

After all the misinformation and inconsistencies he has made so far in relation to the true number of deaths (under-reported) and the correct number of tests done by 30th April (over-stated), I for one will treat this statement with the suspicion it deserves: “Health Secretary Matt Hancock said there is “high privacy” in the coronavirus contact-tracing app.” So no go app… https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/breaking-uk-now-highest-coronavirus-21975258

I won’t be downloading it. I simply do not trust anything they say, anymore.

Anyway……

I didn’t go out today, decided to have a sleep instead….either read or sleep in times of trouble ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ and afterwards I had a marvellous facetime call with my little family again….my grandson, albeit only 15 months old, is very astute. Normally either my daughter or son-in-law will give me a call and the boo will be with them or running around….but today Mummy was in the bath when she called and added Daddy and the boo to the call….he found it absolutely hilarious that he could see her in the bath and on the phone…..he immediately picked up the absurdity of the situation and went into gales of laughter. At one stage he closed the door between himself and the bathroom as if to say “I’m not getting involved in this silliness “. He’s such a divine child. We laughed so much at his reaction.

I’ve been watching the BBC1 programme ‘Life and Birth’ ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ its so extraordinary watching those babies being born, I cry each and every time. It truly is a miracle. Each time I see that little life come into the world, I’m reminded of the extraordinary day my grandson was born….being there to watch him make his way into the world, was an experience beyond all others. Truly we are blessed.

And that’s it really…a relatively quiet day…..cooking, cleaning, preparing cups of coffee and….et al. I love routine, but its beginning to wear on me now….5.5 days…

As a matter of interest, if you have the time, I’d be interested to know whether or not you would download this new app they’re talking about?

Take care folks and be safe.

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Okay so perhaps the term should be changed from lockdown to lockup…

Okayyyyyy. Time to call the men in white coats. 1 slice toastโ€ฆ.half marmite, half marmalade. So eating the first halfโ€ฆexpecting marmalade, but kept thinking hmmm it tastes so much like marmite? Had a closer lookโ€ฆseems I smothered the marmite half with marmalade ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช we had a place in South Africa called Taraโ€ฆ.if you’re looking for me, that’s where I am ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

Happy 100th Birthday Captain Tom ๐ŸŽˆ

It’s so cool the the Post Office has recognised Capt. Tom with his own blue post box. Reminds me of the Olympic 2012 gold post boxes…I hope he gets out to see it.

“We are celebrating Captain Thomas Mooreโ€™s 100th birthday with a special postbox in honour of his incredible efforts to raise money for the NHS. The postbox is painted โ€˜NHS blueโ€™ and includes a golden balloon and birthday greetings in honour of Captain Tomโ€™s 100th birthday. The special postbox is located on Bedford Road, MK43 0LA in Marston Moretaine, Bedfordshire close to where Captain Tom lives.”

Although it was quite overcast and misty today, I pushed myself out the door and went for a lovely walk around the village…I decided that since all the country paths would likely be a muddy quagmire after the rain…I’d walk around the village and along every street, road and close on the east side…I can say for sure, some people are definitely not in the same boat…crikey some of the houses ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ and they have the audacity to include the word ‘cottage’ in the name….๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช I didn’t photograph the houses, but I did capture some colourful flowers….can you imagine such colours and just how tiny some petals are. I loved the caterpillar face. I got in just over 3ย  kms and that makes me a ‘trail blazer’ on the Hadrian’s Wall challenge๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

The tone of the Covid-19 stories are starting to become more accusatory. Started off with the general tone of confusion and dismay, then informative and riven with horror as the number of deaths and infections escalated, and now…slowly they’re becoming increasingly questioning and accusatory…. Covid-19 has laid bare the longterm failure of our collective governments to build a secure economy and future that is fair for everyone.

Two sides of the same coin…different headlines, different stories….same difference….look at who our countries are run by!!

When Covid hit, the United States was also among the vulnerable, and the virus has exposed so many of its long-term ailments – its income disparities, racial inequality, democratic sickliness, inoperative government, toxic polarisation, decline of reason, the downgrading of science, the lessening of its global influence, the absence of global leadership.

Britain has not been exceptional in much, except in its refusal to inform and debate with the public over lockdown. It has behaved like an old-fashioned centralist bureaucracy, with ministers and officials mouthing slogans and giving orders. What is the matter with the government? Why canโ€™t we sit on a bench?”

And on the subject of PPE – I do hope that there will one day be a time of reckoning – I will sign every single petition that calls for a public enquiry .

Ending on a more positive note – how cute is this : helping hedgehogs.

Again today we caught up on facetime and it was a party…I finally figured out how to capture a screenshot…so here’s the blur kissing Mummy

Now to sort out my expression ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช

Take care folks. There’s talk of UK schools opening on 1st June. Way too soon in my humble opinion, and from the comments on Facebook, many parents feel exactly the same. The 2020 school year should just be written off…let the schools open on 1st September and start over. All that’s going to happen is an increase in stress, fear and unhappiness….and children who are already emotionally affected by the whole situation are now going to be pushed to catch up, causing even more stress. Its mad.

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So this is what Lent feels like…I haven’t had physical contact with a single person for 40 nights and 40 days. May as well live in the desert…

I suddenly realized today that I haven’t had any physical contact with anyone since 22nd March when I said goodbye to my daughter….its bizarre. I’m quite a tactile person and even when I was walking the Camino on my own in 2017, I still had loads of hugs from fellow pilgrims, albergue owners and sometimes just a fist bump with a random stranger.

Much as I’m really glad the earth is getting a chance to heal, I’ll be glad when lockdown is over, although I suspect that hugging and fist bumps will no longer be on the agenda. How awful its going to be, to be afraid of hugs. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

I just hope that we won’t lose much enjoyed hugs between family. Talking of family I had a delightful facetime with my daughter and grandson today. Gosh he’s adorable. I was talking to him and blowing him kisses, so he took the phone away from his Mummy and walked around kissing my face ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป oh my gosh it was so cute. All I could see was his forehead and the adorable curl on his head…my daughter was beside herself with laughter…he’s a real charm.

My days in Nether Stowey are numbered now, only 9 to go and I’m off….although of course, all being well I’ll be back in July. Weirdly I’ve been quite happy here and although I’m desperate to see my family, and I’m really quite tired now (and sick of meal planning ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช), I’m quite sad to go. It’s a lovely area and once we got past the initial issues, I’ve gotten on quite well with my client. I am not looking forward to the journey though. Its going to be long…I just hope there will be trains ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

I’ve started a new book; The Pure in Heart – Susan Hill….one of my favourite authors. So this will be the 9th book I’ve read since being in lockdown.

Had a lovely long walk today; 5.4 kms. I just felt like I really needed to stretch my legs, and the area is so beautiful its hard to resist…although of course I have done quite a lot of that ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

My sister mentioned that the SA government has now started on phase 4 ; a lifting of the lockdown is in progress…means they can now actually go out for a very short walk. It all seems very organized and puts our shambolic government to shame

To see how the number of deaths is mounting is quite terrifying, and seeing how the government is putting a spin on everything is disgusting. I’m so sick of their dishonesty. Even one of the most fundamental issues of getting a grip on this virus; testing, has had their warped spin applied

https://www.hsj.co.uk/quality-and-performance/revealed-how-government-changed-the-rules-to-hit-100000-tests-target/7027544.article#.Xqw3EoFpNi4.facebook

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/01/ministers-accused-of-changing-covid-19-test-tally-to-hit-100000-goal

I truly hope there will be a public enquiry and that certain members of the party will….I’d like to say hang, but I guess that’s a bit harsh…however if you consider the number of people who have died due to their incompetence…well…perhaps drawn and quartered might suffice.

Piers Morgan wrote a very accurate piece on the Covid-19 timeline and how the Tory government seriously missed so many red flags….while our emperor was cavorting with his latest piece of fluff, Rome, so to speak was burning….or in this case the UK. And now we have the 2nd highest number of deaths in the world, the most shambolic distribution of PPE and a bunch of bald-faced liars who pump up the numbers to make it look as if they’re being ‘successful’. The day of reckoning will come. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8275365/PIERS-MORGAN-Boris-boast-wants-death-toll-tells-real-story.html?ito=facebook_share_article-bottom

I’m not (usually) a Daily Mail reader and I’m not actually a fan of Piers Morgan, but by golly he’s hit the nail on the head.

And do another day goes by…who knows what the future might hold. With all the saber-rattling going on in the White House, I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw nuclear warheads flying overhead between Beijing and Washington one of these days.

Stay safe folks…

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So today we had my ‘virtual’ birthday tea and cake. My daughter and her hubby and son joined me on WhatsApp facetime with their tea and chocolate cake and I had all the essentials for a party during a pandemic lockdown

The cake was bigger 2 days ago ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Social distancing

Even though the network reception was dastardly as usual, it was a fun time…we’ll get to do the party for real when I visit in May. ๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿฅ‚๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‚

This has probably been the most amazing spring that I can recall in the UK for the last 18 years….Being in lockdown has curtailed my walking explorations to 1 mile from home,ย  but it hasn’t curtailed the prevalence of subjects for photos…โ˜บ๏ธโ˜บ๏ธโ˜บ๏ธย 

In a way, because I’m not trying to cover as much ground as possible within my allotted 2 hour break, and taking my walks at a slower pace, its given me the opportunity to observe my environment at a more leisurely pace and notice the plethora of beautiful flowers on my routes. And that’s the long-winded way of saying I’ve seen a lot of beautiful flowers on my walks ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Š Here’s a short video

Spring 2020

Watched a programme on BBC2 this morning. The industrial revolution and the Victorians may be lauded as so ‘progressive’ but the reality is that the Victorians were terribly destructive, especially in the ‘colonies’ and industry has destroyed the planet….and the animals have suffered the most. There’s no such thing as man’kind’….of course there are many people doing wonderful things with love and caring and compassion and they don’t get the credit they deserve, but ‘mankind’ is a misnomer.  Humans are so terribly destructive. Yes, we’ve built amazing buildings and constructed incredible cities and technology has made our lives better (worse) and science has made some incredible progress, but it has all been at the expense of nature and the natural world. Our demand for cheaper, and more and better is destroying the planet. The Victorians killed thousands upon thousands of tigers in their quest for land, destroying the tropical forests in their wake…and we’re still doing the same thing today…in the name of progress.  We are a stain on this planet, the ultimate virus.

Oh and the ultimate ‘moron in chief’, that orange swamp thing across the pond…has suggested that you can get rid of the virus by drinking disinfectant ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ

There you go donny, take a nice deep breath

I truly cannot understand the mindset that elected that ….I don’t even know what adjective would suit him best…but what I really cannot comprehend, is that seemingly intelligent people are prepared to stand by and say nothing while he spouts his own brand of insanity…they are complicit…..power hungry, soulless individuals….

I went for a lovely walk this evening to the top of the mound…hoping to see the most recent of the Starlink satellites; SpaceX…..but unfortunately there was too much cloud cover and the sky too light to be able to see them. As for the clouds…there’s a cold front moving in and it was a lot chillier than yesterday….still beautiful though.

And on that cheerful note I shall bid you goodnight. I can’t quite believe that I am actually still blogging, and that we are still in lockdown.

Oh yes, one last thing…..I saw this in The Times newspaper today…finally a use for the skeletal pencil ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

Not much use for anything else…

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Goodness me….day 31. I never in my life ever imagined such a thing would happen ….although we can still go out for exercise etc, it still feels totally surreal.

Went outside forย  the 8pm to clap for carers and saw something I haven’t seen for quite some time….contrails. a plane!! I can’t recall seeing a plane for weeks now so was quite surprised to see this. I just read this article and I think we areย  certainly for the foreseeable future, going to see less planes than we are used to.


https://www.traveller.com.au/travel-and-covid19-say-goodbye-to-economy-class-as-the-golden-era-of-cheap-travel-is-declared-over-h1nkai

I got into a bit of a spat a few days ago about Richard Branson wanting a bailout….and of course I complained bitterly, especially considering he’s a billionaire…so today a friend of mine sent me this ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘ the website is fake btw….

Brilliant ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช

So today was my 65th birthday!! ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‰ and I am so surprised that I got this far ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I’ve decided that in honour of this milestone I should keep a diary….so let’s see…I’m not very good at keeping a diary, but you never know…..

They my daughter and family, sent me a delightful box of decorative biscuits from biscuiteers…almost too good to eat

So pretty
Gorgeous tulips from the lady who does our shopping.

I got to chat to my daughter and grandson this morning and we had planned a virtual afternoon tea and cake via facetime, but the wee cherub fell in down the outside stairs and gashed his head….so instead they dashed off to A&E to get him checked over. So perhaps tomorrow…

A virtual birthday
Awwww ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป

Other than that, a quiet day….had a snooze during my break and caught up with my paperwork, did my chores and that was it really.

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Well, here we are….day 28 of lockdown. What a surreal 4 weeks this had been. I don’t even know what to think anymore.

I’ve pretty much given up watching the news because it infuriates me beyond measure. I simply can’t watch them trotting out the same excuses anymore.

I read an article in the Sunday Times shared by a friend, and truly the list of failures is appalling. I know Bozo considers himself to be something of a Churchill reincarnation, but truly, beyond both being racist….at least Churchill was decisive.

Johnson should have stuck to either writing witty articles for the papers, or continued his career as a travel presenter. His ‘finest hour’ came and went with the 2012 Olympics… He sure as hell is not a leader. Like the orange swamp thing across the pond he talks in sound bites….although we should be thankful we can at least understand what our clown says….

Talking of across the pond….it takes a serious level of stupid to behave the way those idiot protesters are behaving. One can only hope that Darwin’s theory is correct and nature will seek out the stupid….

For some weird reason, today just flew by…..I wasn’t particularly busy and I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, but suddenly it was 9pm….I seem to have hit the jackpot lately with my client’s meals…she’s eaten just about everything on her plate the last 2 days. Its really gratifying when the people I cook for enjoy their meals, so its been nice to see a clean plate. I also hate waste and throwing food in the bin is anathema to me. Albeit into composting, its still a waste.

Unfortunately my brother-in-law is back in hospital with further chest pains, which apparently he is not meant to be having after they inserted the stent, so that’s a huge worry. I’m concerned for my sister…they’ve been married for decades and have been joined at the hip since they met….so this is particularly stressful for her. I had a look see for flights to SA in the event I need to go, but the UK is listed as a ‘high risk’ country and citizens are banned from entering the country…at least for now.

The irony of a 3rd world country considering a 1st world country as a health risk has not escaped me….

Shoe is on the other foot….

Its extraordinary to me that to date they have only had 58 deaths

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/south-africa/

I remember my scepticism when Ramaphosa put the country into lockdown….I’ve had occasion to eat my words. For such a poor country, and with so many millions living in close proximity to each other,social distancing is like as wishful thought…but he acted decisively, he acted fast and there was no mucking about with going out for exercise or walking the dog….it was Stay at Home or else….draconian perhaps but its worked. They’ve been on lockdown for almost the same length of time as the UK and yet their death rate is so much lower it doesn’t even warrant a percentage. “South Africaโ€™s lockdown was imposed before a single death had been recorded and has been ruthlessly enforced by the authorities ever since”.

However its not all rosy in the country and they’re experiencing severe food shortages and rioting…

Besides which the projections for Africa as a whole are not good. The worst is yet to come.

Anyhow, that’s me for today…I’m off to bed now. I had a restless night last night, so hoping I don’t have a repeat. As I’m lying here it’s so quiet out that I can hear a tanker hooting in the Bristol Channel….oh and I haven’t seen any shooting stars yet…I live in hope ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿค”

Take care folks. I’ll post the Sunday Times article right after I’ve posted this in the event you’re keen to read it. Be safe…..wherever you are in the world.

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Lovely sunrise this morning. Twas a beautiful day in Somerset although as the morning has gone on, so more clouds are building up. That rain they were talking about perhaps…

“With the new day comes new strength and thoughts”. Eleanor Roosevelt

I popped out to the store as usual just to get more milk and bread. My client goes through lots of milk each day and I’m concerned we’re going to run out. Especially after seeing this posted in the walk 1000 miles group this morning:

Not sure how accurate it is, but considering the pattern of infection in other countries it makes sense. So far we haven’t had any cases (that I’ve heard of) in our neck of the woods, the closest being Taunton. But this thing travels fast, so…

This is a text from an NHS worker

“As of tomorrow, do not leave home for bread for anything! Because the worst begins tomorrow as the incubation date is met and many people that are positive with the virus start to peak!! Itโ€™s at this time other people are most vulnerable! so it is very important to stay home and not to be in contact with anybody, even members of your family if possible!! Being very careful is very important and very crucial at this time!!

As from tomorrow we are going to see the start of the peak of those that are positive, then there will be two weeks of calm and then two weeks where it decreases.

  • What happened in Italy is that they neglected the contagion period and that is why all the cases turned out together and so badly, plus they didnโ€™t know what they were dealing with *.
  • And finally, please do not receive visits from anyone, not even from the same family. This is all for the good of all. * WE WILL BE IN THE MAXIMUM STAGE OF INFECTION.
  • DO NOT HOLD ON TO THIS MESSAGE, PASS IT ON TO ALL YOUR CONTACTS *

So forewarned is forewarned/ and better safe than sorry…

Isn’t it ironic that the very people who are meant to be leading the country during this time have tested positive and have clearly NOT been following their own advice.

To avoid watching any further depressing news I’ve been watching Call the Midwife….so much more palatable.

My daughter has given me permission to share the WhatsApp image she captured yesterday during our grandparents call. The wonders of technology

My lovely family ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป

I had a spot of luck this morning…on my way back from the store I happened to notice a box of stuff on the bench near the clock tower. Looking closer I saw a note from a local farm; Inwood Farm, saying to please help ourselves to the items..free in order to not waste. I took a few boxes of chocolates and 2 boxes of biscuits and one packet of tortilla wraps. How lucky is that. There were quite a lot of items so I hope other people also got to share in the windfall.

All I wanted to do was sleep this afternoon after a bout of wakefulness in the early hours, but I forced myself to go out for a walk since if indeed the virus infections are going to peak next week, we may go into total lockdown and be unable to get out. So making the most of it. I managed 2.4 kms… This area is so gorgeous

Nether Stowey Castle from across the road

I followed part of my usual route and then crossed the road and climbed to the top of the next hill. This is reminding me more and more of the Camino ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช It was very cloudy, windy and cold up there but oh, the views…with a fantastic view of the castle. From that elevation, 140.3 metres I could see Steep Holme Island in the Bridtol Channel. Stunning.

Nether Stowey Castle

The steps leading up to the field reminded me of Box Hill and the fall I had that put an end to my pilgrimage in 2018.

Steps

I’ve just finished reading a brilliant book: The Mermaids Singing by Val McDermid, one of my favourite authors. It’s the first book where she introduces Tony Hill and Carol Jordan of Wire in the Blood TV series. Now I’ll have to follow the editions and reread some of the later books I’ve already read.

Altogether a good day.

Hope you all had a fab day and are taking steps to remain safe. I suspect things are going to ramp up quite a lot over the next couple of weeks so please observe the protocol for keeping safe and try to not get the virus.

The very best to you all

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I’m not someone who panics easily. I tend to be calm and logical in the face of adversity and hold my meltdown for the after party…..LOL

Whether panic is needed seems to depend on those who seed it โ€ฆ~Naโ€™ama Yehuda

But I must admit to having gone from “bloody Chinese eating wild animals and treating those and other animals in a most appalling way – the animals have risen and are taking revenge” a couple of months ago, to the faint stirrings of unease, and concern at how fast this virus has spread and how vicious it is.

I’m guessing that none of us expected this virus to jump borders and spread so rapidly, taking down swathes of people and leaving fear and despair in its wake.

But suddenly we’re in the midst of a pandemic that the authorities seem unable to contain. And so the infected numbers and deaths mount up. Every day now the figures go up in the hundreds rather than the occasional report of one or two.

For obvious reasons this has brought about a sense of panic and the possibility of a lockdown is causing irrational behaviour.

I know that I for one have started to feel somewhat stressed….mainly for my little family; my daughter, son-in-law and my cherished grandson.

While we were away in Devon last week the first reports of panic buying started to filter through. I said to my daughter that as soon as we get back we must go shopping. Well that turned out to be a bit of a fright since the shelves were practically bare of essentials and necessities…..panic buying was in full swing.

However, we calmly walked along the aisles and bought whatever we could find, particularly things that can be used in soups and stews. Baby food was high on the list of essentials and nappies. We bought as much by way of prepared food as we could without emptying the shelves.

Since then I have raided my tax savings and on a daily basis I buy a small quantity of whatever I can find focusing on dry goods and tins where there’s availability.

We went shopping at Tesco’s a few days ago and the shock of the empty shelves was so overwhelming for my daughter that she had a meltdown in the store. Like she said, she has a baby to consider, and besides that her levels of empathy for older people wandering about looking for something they could buy was just too much.

I’m due to leave tomorrow morning for my next job…in the depths of Somerset, a 4.5 hour journey on 2 trains and the tube, and frankly I have no idea what will happen in the next few weeks. Will I contract the virus? Will my elderly client? How long will I be stuck there? If I do get ill basically I have no home to return to for either recovery or self-isolation.

Of course I wouldn’t want to return to my daughter’s home because I may well end up infecting them, and it begs the question….when my assignment is completed in 2 weeks time, should I even have any physical contact with them at all? And what of my accommodation? It’s on a very tenuous basis anyway. I rent a tiny room on an adhoc basis in a shared house. I have no lease and no guarantee that the landlady who currently rents out the room would even allow me to return to the property if I need to self-isolate.

Besides that, I have no food where I stay between jobs. I can’t store stuff there because not only have the permanent residents recently helped themselves to some of my fridge stuff, but where would I keep it….its not a permanent place of residence with a secure place to store anything? And even if she agrees to let me stay there, I wouldn’t be able to prepare anything in the shared kitchen if I was ill as it may affect the other residents.

So even though I don’t normally panic, I do confess to feeling rather uneasy and uncertain. I can only hope that the person I’m going to care for over the next couple of weeks doesn’t turn out to be a nightmare, and if I’m required to extend my stay due to a lockdown, that we’ll have sufficient food to see us through.

The other aspect is the worry I have for my family….will they have sufficient food for an extended period if there’s a lockdown? Will they be safe from the virus? Will I be able to return to help out if they happen to get ill? I have urged my daughter to be very conservative with her food and to not waste anything….I can only hope that they do.

My grandson is right in the middle of weaning and I worry that she will not have enough food to cope with his requirements. A lot of food already goes to waste when he plays with the food instead of eating it and it ends up on the floor and subsequently into the trash.

So while I am not normally given to panicking, I do admit that I’m beginning to feel incredibly stressed and worried, especially if there is a lockdown and all that that implies.

Onwards….

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Gosh, how time does fly. It’s been 4.5 months since I last wrote a blog (about toilet paper?? LOL) and so much has happened in the interim I hardly know where to start.

Blogging is one of those things that I need my computer for, and since said computer is, in today’s world, classified as ancient, it takes ages to boot up and by then I’ve lost time & interest. But I recently, with the help of my sister in Cape Town via whatsapp, had an online session and we managed to clear some space which has made it marginally quicker, and so I thought it’s about time I got back to blogging.

I’ve also in the interim logged out of both twitter and facebook….I’m so sick of the rubbish on twitter (I miss the days when you could have a decent ongoing conversation with someone without the bots interfering and sticking their noses in with their vile rhetoric). I logged off facebook recently after a very emotional situation because I needed to separate myself from the emotion and facebook is a thorn in my side anyway (for various reasons). I do miss comment/chatting to my friends though – do we ever talk in real life anymore?

So since I was off both twitter and facebook, both of which voraciously consume your time, I started reading through and clearing out my email inboxes, both of which had in excess of 3,000 unread and unfiled emails. It took a good few hours I can tell you, over a period of about a week, but oh the satisfaction once it was done. It’s amazing how we can even accumulate clutter online. While doing that I also unsubscribed from hundreds of charity emails, petitioning emails and sales advertising emails and now my inboxes are more manageable. I also file the emails I need to keep into their relevant folders immediately after reading them. Now I have about 10 emails pending attention and few starred emails that I need to keep open for various reasons.

So instead of wasting time scrolling through twitter and facebook, I started reading wordpress blogs again, followed a few bloggers whose posts I enjoyed and started proper reading again….and talking of reading, I’ve also started reading books again…..marvellous. The latest book I borrowed from the B&B hostess where I recently stayed… The Secret Dossier of a Knight Templar of the Sangreal. I’ve been interested in the history of the Knights Templar for ages and the book is absolutely fascinating; I’m learning so much.ย  There are quite a few famous places linked to the Knights Templar along the French Camino Route through northern Spain and I hope to visit those when I do the walk. I’ve been lucky enough to visit a few places in the UK with links to the knights…..so interesting.

Of course the main event of the year, and the reason for my tardiness and lack of blogging, was the birth, in January, of my first grandchild One year ago; best news ever, a much desired and much wanted, precious little boy. Life as they say, changed forever. I read a blog today by debs-world that really struck a chord, and on that note I decided to get back to writing so that I can share more about this special little boy and his development. I have dozens of drafts written, but with one thing and another, I never got to actually post them ….. and he is a week away from 10 months old!! The absolute joy of my life. I never knew you could love another human so much.

Besides that I am once again homeless and that has been the cause of so much trauma I cannot tell you. Much as it was heart-rending to leave what has been my home since June this year and for a few years prior to that (just different houses in different towns), it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do and although it nearly broke me in two, it was an absolute necessity for my own sanity.ย  But it’s tough not having a home. I’ve had to once again put all my belongings into storage and that in itself brings a multitude of complications. Every time I want to file documents or get a change of clothes or access my toiletries or whatever it might be that I need or don’t want to carry around, I have to traipse to the storage unit and keep their opening hours in mind. No easy access. It all requires careful planning….and frankly it’s just fucking boring. Cรฉst la vie. However, you can really appreciate the difficulties that people who end up on the streets have. I’m still one of the lucky ones…I have a job (that provides me with a home for two weeks at a stretch) and can pay for storage and a B&B when needed inbetween jobs.

I haven’t done any walking this year either which has added 6 kgs to my weight (gahhhh). Unfortunately my love of food has not abated LOL. And anyway I opted to spend time with the bub rather than go walking. an easy choice really.

I wrote a blog a few months back about the X52 pledge I made and I’m pleased to say that I have stuck to it. Of course I have needed to buy new underwear and socks (I wear through mine a fast pace) and desperately needed a new pair of trainers, which are my daily wear anyway, but fortunately those items are considered necessities and not a luxury.

Besides travelling to various parts of the country for work, I haven’t done much travelling this year either. I was reluctant to stray too far from my delicious grandson, opting instead to spend as much time as possible with him. Sadly now that I no longer live with them, my time with him is going to be cut down to a visit maybe twice a month. It bloody sucks and I miss him so much it hurts. But there it is. I rail against this situation to no avail…..hopefully in time I will get my emotions under control and not feel like I want to scream and jump into the abyss. I am after all just his Granny and not his mother and he does have other grandparents. It is lovely though when I do visit…he gets so excited to see me and giggles uncontrollably. I fear that our bond will eventually wear thin though since he won’t see much of me …and yes I am feeling bereft and very very sad. It’s hard not to when I’ve been such an integral part of his life from before he was born. Having gone right through my daughter’s pregnancy and labour, witnessing him take his first breaths, and then being very closely tied in with his subsequent daily care, looking after him most nights for the first 6 months, leaving was such a wrench…..I confess I am still reeling from the loss. It’s been a horrible 12 days just thinking about it. Still I’m grateful that he’s not in another country and I will get to see him at least twice a month. And I have our Christmas Butlins break to look forward to when I’ll be spending 4 whole days with him….shared with the paternal grandparents of course.

I’m still very active on instagram and love looking through the many wonderful images that get shared, saving links to places I still want to visit and walks I want to do. Gosh there are so many I’ve lost count. Instagram has to be the best travel brochure ever. I’m saving up to buy a campervan so that when my gorgeous grandson is older, I can take him on a multitude of adventures. I hope to eventually buy a motor-home so that I have a permanent residence.

So that’s just a quick catch up and summary of the last few months….I shall now start finalising and posting the articles about the wonderful life of Jamie, my divine grandson…..

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….or not. LOL Well the days are slowly but inexorably going by, one by one and still our wee Peanut has not put in an appearance. His ‘due dates’ of 5th and 7th have come and gone and he is still snug in his cosy (albeit noisy) little cocoon.

waiting for peanut, peanut is on the way, first pregnancy, being pregnant

40 weeks and looking gorgeous

I say noisy because his poor Mother (my daughter) has had the most awful cold and subsequent cough for well over a week now and it is causing her a tremendous amount of stress, pain and discomfort. She is almost literally ‘coughing her lungs out’. She is alternatively bunged up with thick mucus or streaming snot. Both of which are causing her a lot of pain and discomfort with the accompanying coughing…that just goes unremittingly on and on. The doctor checked her over earlier last week on another visit and said there was no infection, so just to keep warm and rest.

A couple of days ago, actually last week Thursday, I was downstairs cleaning and she was upstairs resting (or trying to) when I heard a tiny little voice come wafting down in desperation “Mummy, can you come upstairs please”. My initial heart reaction was “omg the baby is on the way!!” to “omg what the hell is wrong?” when I got upstairs and found her doubled over in pain. She thought that with the coughing and the very uncomfortable positions she had been lying in in bed may have pinched a nerve in her shoulder when coughing. I tried massaging the area, to no avail and with no relief, it got steadily worse till she was screaming with pain, coughing and unable to stand up. Suddenly her left arm started going numb right down to her fingers…and she started crying in earnest thinking she might be having a heart attack with the pain.

I tried phoning the GP but as usual they take so long to reply, you could be dead by the time they answer. So I phoned 999 – ‘ambulance please’ and within 45 minutes we were in A&E. Still screaming and in so much pain that they, the medical staff in A&E, were all convinced she was in labour….despite her saying that you don’t get labour pains in your shoulder!!! *rolls eyes*.

After a quick examination the doctor prescribed some morphine to dull the pain….it took the edge off but didn’t really make a huge difference, and transferred her to the maternity labour ward. *rolls eyes* again!! Pass the buck eh! Or in this case the very pregnant Mummy-to-be.

After quite a few examinations that involved prodding her ribs and facilitated a lot of screaming and swearing, they gave her some coedine and strapped her up to the baby monitor. Although baby wasn’t at all happy with the noise and discomfort he was experiencing from both the coughing and the screaming, his heartbeat was strong and healthy and he was moving around like no-one’s business. It’s so amazing how the sound of the monitor changes as he moves and the graph goes crazy. At least this room was a bit more cheerful than the others we’ve been in. This is not the first time we’ve visited the labour ward, and mostly the rooms are dull, and grim with crappy paintwork and all the horrible sterile equipment.

We spent a few hours there while they did various tests and checks, doctors and midwives came and went and finally after about 5 hours they discharged her and we all went home….my poor child….still in pain and feeling somewhat spaced out from the medications.

And here we are, the weekend has come and gone, Mummy is still coughing and spluttering, her ribs are still very painful, and now her whole body is aching from the strain of the coughing and still no sign of baby making an appearance any time soon, which is probably a good thing since my daughter is in no condition to take the strain of labour right now.

However, we thought for sure he was on the way last night due to what we thought might be a ‘show’ and a lot of fluid being passed. To be on the ‘safe side’ we decided to pop in at the labour ward and have them check things over…again we spent a couple of hours in the labour ward while they did a few tests and monitored baby’s heartbeat – the diagnosis is: no, baby is not yet on the way. Geez, this little scamp is taking his own sweet time. His heartbeat is strong and healthy, he is moving frequently and still breech.

And my poor child is still coughing and coughing. We have tried everything to no avail. It’s a virus and we just have to wait for it to pass……maybe Peanut is waiting for that too.

Meanwhile I went shopping again yesterday and bought some of the cutest little outfits you can imagine. I do so love the Peter Rabbit theme and even though baby really has more than enough Newborn babygrows, I could resist this one ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s adorable. Of course if baby weighs more than 7 lbs, none of them are going to fit…. LOL

peanut is on the way, first grandchild, peter rabbit, baby layette

Peter Rabbit…one of my favourite characters

My daughter gave me the most delightful book for Christmas: FAMILY LONDON with the inscription – ‘to granny for all our adventures, love Jamie’. There are dozens of ideas and places to go with children of all ages: parks, playgrounds & secret gardens, museums & galleries, grand days out, where the wild things are, and teenage kicks…as well as places to eat…..oh and we’ll definitely be buying lots of ice-creams!!

peanut is on the way, first grandchild, family london, things to do with children in london

Jamie and Granny’s London adventures

So I’m already planning ahead and bought him some gorgeous Paddington Bear pyjamas, an adorable Paddington Bear dungaree and top ensemble

and a London jumper with a big red bus and a London t-shirt. All Aboard…first bus we shall ride will be the Number 15 from the Tower of London to Trafalgar Square.

These will all be kept aside for when Granny and Jamie go to London on an adventure.

I can’t wait for this wee lad to arrive now. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

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