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Posts Tagged ‘acceptance’

Gosh, how time does fly. It’s been 4.5 months since I last wrote a blog (about toilet paper?? LOL) and so much has happened in the interim I hardly know where to start.

Blogging is one of those things that I need my computer for, and since said computer is, in today’s world, classified as ancient, it takes ages to boot up and by then I’ve lost time & interest. But I recently, with the help of my sister in Cape Town via whatsapp, had an online session and we managed to clear some space which has made it marginally quicker, and so I thought it’s about time I got back to blogging.

I’ve also in the interim logged out of both twitter and facebook….I’m so sick of the rubbish on twitter (I miss the days when you could have a decent ongoing conversation with someone without the bots interfering and sticking their noses in with their vile rhetoric). I logged off facebook recently after a very emotional situation because I needed to separate myself from the emotion and facebook is a thorn in my side anyway (for various reasons). I do miss comment/chatting to my friends though – do we ever talk in real life anymore?

So since I was off both twitter and facebook, both of which voraciously consume your time, I started reading through and clearing out my email inboxes, both of which had in excess of 3,000 unread and unfiled emails. It took a good few hours I can tell you, over a period of about a week, but oh the satisfaction once it was done. It’s amazing how we can even accumulate clutter online. While doing that I also unsubscribed from hundreds of charity emails, petitioning emails and sales advertising emails and now my inboxes are more manageable. I also file the emails I need to keep into their relevant folders immediately after reading them. Now I have about 10 emails pending attention and few starred emails that I need to keep open for various reasons.

So instead of wasting time scrolling through twitter and facebook, I started reading wordpress blogs again, followed a few bloggers whose posts I enjoyed and started proper reading again….and talking of reading, I’ve also started reading books again…..marvellous. The latest book I borrowed from the B&B hostess where I recently stayed… The Secret Dossier of a Knight Templar of the Sangreal. I’ve been interested in the history of the Knights Templar for ages and the book is absolutely fascinating; I’m learning so much.  There are quite a few famous places linked to the Knights Templar along the French Camino Route through northern Spain and I hope to visit those when I do the walk. I’ve been lucky enough to visit a few places in the UK with links to the knights…..so interesting.

Of course the main event of the year, and the reason for my tardiness and lack of blogging, was the birth, in January, of my first grandchild One year ago; best news ever, a much desired and much wanted, precious little boy. Life as they say, changed forever. I read a blog today by debs-world that really struck a chord, and on that note I decided to get back to writing so that I can share more about this special little boy and his development. I have dozens of drafts written, but with one thing and another, I never got to actually post them ….. and he is a week away from 10 months old!! The absolute joy of my life. I never knew you could love another human so much.

Besides that I am once again homeless and that has been the cause of so much trauma I cannot tell you. Much as it was heart-rending to leave what has been my home since June this year and for a few years prior to that (just different houses in different towns), it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do and although it nearly broke me in two, it was an absolute necessity for my own sanity.  But it’s tough not having a home. I’ve had to once again put all my belongings into storage and that in itself brings a multitude of complications. Every time I want to file documents or get a change of clothes or access my toiletries or whatever it might be that I need or don’t want to carry around, I have to traipse to the storage unit and keep their opening hours in mind. No easy access. It all requires careful planning….and frankly it’s just fucking boring. Cést la vie. However, you can really appreciate the difficulties that people who end up on the streets have. I’m still one of the lucky ones…I have a job (that provides me with a home for two weeks at a stretch) and can pay for storage and a B&B when needed inbetween jobs.

I haven’t done any walking this year either which has added 6 kgs to my weight (gahhhh). Unfortunately my love of food has not abated LOL. And anyway I opted to spend time with the bub rather than go walking. an easy choice really.

I wrote a blog a few months back about the X52 pledge I made and I’m pleased to say that I have stuck to it. Of course I have needed to buy new underwear and socks (I wear through mine a fast pace) and desperately needed a new pair of trainers, which are my daily wear anyway, but fortunately those items are considered necessities and not a luxury.

Besides travelling to various parts of the country for work, I haven’t done much travelling this year either. I was reluctant to stray too far from my delicious grandson, opting instead to spend as much time as possible with him. Sadly now that I no longer live with them, my time with him is going to be cut down to a visit maybe twice a month. It bloody sucks and I miss him so much it hurts. But there it is. I rail against this situation to no avail…..hopefully in time I will get my emotions under control and not feel like I want to scream and jump into the abyss. I am after all just his Granny and not his mother and he does have other grandparents. It is lovely though when I do visit…he gets so excited to see me and giggles uncontrollably. I fear that our bond will eventually wear thin though since he won’t see much of me …and yes I am feeling bereft and very very sad. It’s hard not to when I’ve been such an integral part of his life from before he was born. Having gone right through my daughter’s pregnancy and labour, witnessing him take his first breaths, and then being very closely tied in with his subsequent daily care, looking after him most nights for the first 6 months, leaving was such a wrench…..I confess I am still reeling from the loss. It’s been a horrible 12 days just thinking about it. Still I’m grateful that he’s not in another country and I will get to see him at least twice a month. And I have our Christmas Butlins break to look forward to when I’ll be spending 4 whole days with him….shared with the paternal grandparents of course.

I’m still very active on instagram and love looking through the many wonderful images that get shared, saving links to places I still want to visit and walks I want to do. Gosh there are so many I’ve lost count. Instagram has to be the best travel brochure ever. I’m saving up to buy a campervan so that when my gorgeous grandson is older, I can take him on a multitude of adventures. I hope to eventually buy a motor-home so that I have a permanent residence.

So that’s just a quick catch up and summary of the last few months….I shall now start finalising and posting the articles about the wonderful life of Jamie, my divine grandson…..

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Today being Sunday, I am of course blogging about religion and spirituality (just because I like to be orderly).

As a child my mother used to send us to Church (Sunday school) every week.   There we got to learn about Christ and Christian principles and about God.  We also had a load of fun colouring in pictures and listening to stories, and one of my most vivid memories of Christ was of him dressed in a long pure-white robe, a long vibrant sapphire blue cloak over that, brown sandals long brown hair and a beautiful smile.   That image was portrayed in a large book my Mother had given us of Bible Stories.

As we got older and started going to grown-up Church, sometimes my Mother (or Father – depending on whom we were living with at the time) would come with us, most times not), I recall that the preacher – of whichever church was nearest at the time (we moved a lot), would stand on his pulpit and either preach about how God would punish us for various sins etc and banish us to hell, or would preach about a loving God who forgave all sins.   This confused the heck out of me and I could not relate that to the pictures I had seen in the book or the stories I had read. (I do confess I have never read the bible through, only got as far as Genesis and touched on Revelations, as well as briefly on others in between).

In the fullness of time church went out the window and religion took a back-seat to real life, and we practised what my Mother called a ‘shot-gun’ religion – church for weddings, christenings, funerals and the occasional seasonal catch up.   Although I then considered myself to be a Christian the reality was that I did not lead a Christian lifestyle.   Neither I, nor my siblings were either; Baptised, Christened or whatever.   We had conflicting experiences of how life should be lived and how life was lived – leading to total confusion.   Although I pretty much gave up on ‘religion’ per se, I was still curious and over the years I investigated, albeit briefly, different religions; touching on Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, I went to different churches: Methodist; Church of England; Catholic; and Baptist and even ventured into the world of Seventh Day Adventists.

When my daughter went to school, I sent her to a Catholic School for most of her junior years, the result of which that she has sworn off religion for life (so far).  (Actually, the Toasim venture, was unwittingly mitigated by her; through a Chinese school friend she was helping to learn English and who was teaching her Mandarin in return.)   We were totally taken with the whole experience and faithfully attended services every Friday, which lasted till they told us that cats don’t have souls!   Bearing in mind: I am a cat lover of note, had five cats at the time, one of whom had just been killed by a car that very day – bad timing).  Taosim went out the window.

On the rare occasion I have attended church since my childhood, it is usually to pray for someone else (I do believe in an Almighty God/Entity), to attend Easter Service or Christmas Eve Mass (I enjoy the carols) and for weddings, funerals, christenings and very occasionally just because I want to enjoy the spiritual environment.   Other than that I am totally taken with old churches and cathedrals and love wandering about whether they be whole or in ruins.   It is more for the aesthetic beauty than religious, and I also love the traditions.

Which brings me to spirituality.   I would consider myself to be a spiritual person; I had an amazing experience at Date With Destiny (see my book).   And I have been thinking; what is religion as opposed to spirituality and how does spirituality fit into our daily lives?   Doing some research, of course my first stop was Wikipedia and this is what I found.

Traditionally, religions have regarded spirituality as an integral aspect of religious experience and have long claimed that secular (non-religious) people cannot experience “true” spirituality. Many do still equate spirituality with religion, but declining membership of organised religions and the growth of secularism in the western world has given rise to a broader view of spirituality.

Secular spirituality carries connotations of an individual having a spiritual outlook, which is more personalized, less structured, more open to new ideas/influences, and more pluralistic than that of the doctrinal faiths of organized religions. At one end of the spectrum, even some atheists are spiritual.   While atheism tends to lean towards scepticism regarding supernatural claims and the existence of an actual “spirit”, some atheists define “spiritual” as nurturing thoughts, emotions, words and actions that are in harmony with a belief that the entire universe is, in some way, connected; even if only by the mysterious flow of cause and effect at every scale.

Some modern religions also see spirituality in everything: see pantheism and neo-Pantheism. In a similar vein, Religious Naturalism has a spiritual attitude towards the awe, majesty and mystery it sees in the natural world.

For a Christian, to refer to him or herself as “more spiritual than religious” may (but not always) imply relative deprecation of rules, rituals, and tradition while preferring an intimate relationship with God. The basis for this belief is that Jesus Christ came to free humankind from those rules, rituals, and traditions, giving humankind the ability to “walk in the spirit” thus maintaining a “Christian” lifestyle through that one-to-one relationship with God.

Interesting!   This is just a small sample of what I found.  What are your thoughts?   Of course there is much, much more on the internet and the subject could be beaten to death, however, please bear in mind that I am not decrying, deriding or slating any religion, belief or way of life, in any way – I am just voicing what is my belief and how I have experienced life.   I do not wish to be ‘converted’ and if you leave any comments kindly do so at a constructive level, respecting the fact that everyone has a different set of beliefs, values and their own model of the world and that in my opinion we are all correct in our thinking and that we all have the right to our own beliefs.   I also do not feel that any one religion or religious sect, or way of thinking or set of beliefs, is either right or wrong; it just is.   How I do wish that we could all accept that.

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