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Archive for January, 2010

When do you touch someone? Or more importantly when don’t you?  Why do you touch someone and why don’t you?   What is the etiquette of greeting people?   How well do you have to know someone, before you kiss them hello? Do you kiss them on the cheek once? Or twice!

It’s a social minefield.  The truth is that we have become a nation of touchy-feelies, a nation of huggers.   Not that hugging is a bad thing – after all there is nothing wrong with a little human warmth.

How do you remain private when everyone else wants to touch you?

In a society where genuine warmth has been replaced by the pretence of warmth, you protest at your peril.   Wanting to keep your own personal space is increasingly being seen as a bit cold, unfriendly and uptight.

In the past, people didn’t kiss, or openly hug or rub each other’s shoulders.   But it’s all changed.   Men and women greet each other and members of the opposite sex with a physical warmth that would have been unacceptable even, a decade or so ago.   In the past, men shook hands with other men in a formal fashion – then they shook hands with the ladies they were introduced to.

Watch any TV show these days and you will notice a lot of hugging going on between the hosts and the participants.   It has become a common practice to hug on stage when someone wins a prize, arrives for a show and even heterosexual men have now become far less uptight about giving and receiving hugs.

In a way, we’ve all become more Euro-centric in that sense.   People living in countries such as Italy, France and Spain have always kissed each other hello.

In 1959, psychologist Edward T Hall defined personal space as an ’emotionally charged bubble of space which surrounds each individual’ and added that anything closer than 5ft was to close for anyone other than intimate relations.

Current estimations of the accepted distance in the U.S. now ranges from 18ft to 4ft, and endless experts study this subject – it is called the study of proxemics.

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….making out a cheque for a fraction of the amount owed and writing ‘PAID IN FULL’ on it?

A popular myth that has long been doing the rounds is the one that says writing out a cheque for a fraction of the amount owed will clear a large debt, provided that it has a note saying ‘paid in full’ attached to it.   This is not true, and will be seen as acting in bad faith, which will just make things worse.

The rumour may have popped up as a result of some creditors being willing to accept a smaller amount than that originally owed – after all, some payment is better than no payment – but this only works when there is an agreement between creditor and debtor.

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Prepare yourself for fame.  We’ve all tried to imagine what it would be like to be famous.  Going to the shops in a chauffeur-driven limo, treated like royalty and waited on hand and foot.  These days, being a celebrity is a job in itself – it can happen to almost anyone and some people are truly awful at it.   So don’t be negative about your ambitions to be rich and famous – just make sure that when you get there, you know how to behave and not make a fool of yourself.

When you are famous and you’re walking down the red carpet at a film premier and people are screaming at you for an autograph, you should have your signature practised to perfection. Make it suitable flamboyant and never refuse to give it to someone.   Practise your superstar walk too!

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10 Useful steps for your New Year budget:

1)  Think before you spend.

Stick to a realistic budget that includes everything.

2)  Keep a tally of what you spend.

It is very simple to set up a spreadsheet; enter all your purchases and you will soon see where you could cut back on impulse buys

3)  Avoid impulse buys.

Plan your birthday calendar; think ahead of who you wish to buy a gift for and when you find something suitable, buy it then rather than an overspend at the last minute.

4)  Use cash for your small purchases.

Set aside a specific amount each month for those quick buys, saves interest on the credit card.

5)  Find ways to make rather than buy.

Try making your own greeting cards for special occasions.

6)  Generate extra money.

We all have a skill we can use to earn extra cash.

7)  Download free software such as skype.

Many people these days have computers – using skype to skype could save you a fortune on overseas calls.

8)  Save up for special treats.

Pick a coin value e.g. £1 and every time you get one in your change put it into a money box, you’ll be amazed how quickly they add up.

9)  Cut back on transport costs.

Make use of oyster cards or similar; walk if you can, wherever you can.

10)  Put the money you save into an ISA and start saving for next Christmas or that special holiday.

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One of the things I love most about being away from London, is coming back.   I never get tired of the view of the Thames as the train crosses the bridge!   My heart always gives a little leap of joy, and no matter what the weather, be it grey or raining or sunny, it always looks just beautiful.

Coming back to London means a lot of things to me.

It means seeing my daughter again, getting a warm hug, enjoying time with her catching up on news.   We get to enjoy a visit to our favourite coffee shops a) Starbucks for coffee and b) Costas for hot chocolate. yummy 🙂

Also, if I am in town long enough, I get to spend an hour or so with one or two of my friends, which is never enough and the time flies by too quickly.

Being in London means visiting my storage unit to offload stuff I acquired from the last trip and recycling my clothes.  I get awfully bored wearing the same stuff for 2-4 weeks in a row.  Visiting my storgae unit, is like going shopping at a 2nd-hand charity shop, except I don’t have to pay for the stuff coz I already own it.

I get to go see a movie again, if there is time.  I get to see Buckingham Palace or the London Eye or the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben.  I always, if I am leaving from Charing Cross on my next trip, make a stop at Trafalgar Square and say hello to Nelson.

I love to watch the changing seasons with a fresh eye and to my delight, on this return – I got to see a light dusting of snow everywhere.   That also means it is bleedin cold and I nearly froze between the station and home last night.

My daughter and son-in-law treated me to a great, late Xmas dinner and my daughter (bless her) went all out with a marvellous spread for her (95%) vegetarian Mom (not that I am a veggie myself 😉 ).  We had a lovely cassis that went straight to my head and I got all silly and giggly as I do when imbibing.

They had loads of pressies for me and it was lots of fun ripping the paper off to reveal the contents, one of which was a pair of wellies!!!    I have so wanted a pair of wellies since Feb 09 when we had all that snow.   My daughter is a very thoughtful gift buyer!!!   My son-in-law attempted to teach me how to play the new game they got for Xmas from a friend, which is a Playstation Dance UK set.  But, since I have 2 left feet and no hand/foot eye co-ordination whatsoever (I would be a real challenge for the Strictly Come Dancing lot), we were in hysterics at my attempts to put my feet where they were meant to be.  I scored a very hopeless tally.   A fun evening had by all.

This morning it is up and about to catch up on appointments, meet my chica for lunch and in the evening catch up on new developments and training with WorldVentures.   Apparently there is new information and I am looking forward to meeting up with other members.

Then it’s off again tomorrow!

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What is Personal Development and what does it mean to you?
Personal Development takes many forms and is not necessarily just about attending a course or seminar.  It can be learning to drive a car or raising funds for charity.

How do you know if and when you need Personal Development and why?
What would be the point of engaging in a given course of action?
What would be the steps you need to take?
And why would you even want to start?
When you engage in a given course of ‘Personal Development’, what are the components needed?

Say for example on the 1st of January as one of your New Year’s resolutions you decide to run in a marathon, where do you start?

First of all think about why you want to do the marathon and what is the result you want to achieve.
Are you competing or participating?   Do you see yourself actually completing the course?

Are you doing the marathon to raise funds for charity, and what is your objective?
If you are raising money for charity, is it a cause you feel passionate about and how much would you want to raise?   Will you advertise to raise funds, depend on your friends and family or seek corporate sponsorship?   Will you raise a lump sum or a set a goal per kilometre?

Are you doing the marathon as part of a group or on your own?

Or are you running in the marathon because you think you need to get fit and lose weight?
Are you already fairly fit or are you an ex-couch potato?
Did your Doctor suggest the programme or is this something you just want to do for yourself and why?
Will you have a buddy to keep you motivated?   Who will you buddy with and what is their objective?   Is it someone you know will stay the course?

Identifying your motive, where you are now and your end result will help you to clarify your objectives, and set the parameters of action steps to take.
What date is the marathon?   If it is 6months away and you are really unfit, how much time do you need to invest per day, and how many days per week?
Do you need to give up anything in order to start the programme?
What level of fitness do you have to achieve in order to last the course?
Do you have to make changes to your routine and or home life in order to participate?   What equipment do you need?   Do you have to change your eating habits and give anything up?

Before you start on any programme relating to your own Personal Development it helps to identify your reasons, what will motivate you and keep you going, what will you need in order to overcome the challenges that lie ahead?   Do you have the time to participate and what do you have to give up in order to set that time aside?

Lets assume you want to learn to drive a car and get a Driver’s Licence.
Why do you need to learn to drive?   Is it just because you want to, or because you have to?
How will learning to drive make your life different once you have gained your license?
Will you hire a Driving Instructor or arrange for a friend to teach you?
Do you have a deadline for achieving the license?
How will this help the people around you and what are the benefits to you?

In order to achieve any objective as part of a Personal Development plan, it helps to identify your motivations, your desires, your objections, the challenges, your final goal, and how will it affect the people around you?   Are you prepared to make the commitment needed, and most importantly, when times get tough, as they do, what is it that will get you to continue?
As with any course of action, having a solid reason and a plan for doing it will help you to achieve what you set out to do.

quote: “Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising, which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.’’  Ralph Waldo Emerson – Poet and Essayist

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Average number of sunny hours in a January day:

Algarve:           6

Tunis:               5

Cyprus:            5

The Gambia:        9

Dubai:              8

Egypt:               8

Sharm El Sheik:   8

Cape Town:            11

Mombasa:            9

Maldives:            8

Mauritius:            8

Phuket:      9

Orlando:            7

Barbados:            9

St. Lucia:            9

Tenerife:            6

Fiji:                   7

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I managed to get some photos in Hove this afternoon, here are a few of them.

Hove - St Johns Church (I think)

The Floral Clock in Hove

faded grandeur - Regency houses in Hove

a park near the beachfront

looking towards Brighton Pier

a Sunday afternoon stroll along the Promenade - Hove

Queen Victoria keeping a beady eye on passersby

pretty building, lacey balconys - a flavour of France?

sun starting to set over the sea - Hove

between sea and sky - Hove late afternoon 03.01.10

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Today being Sunday, I am of course blogging about religion and spirituality (just because I like to be orderly). 🙂

As a child my mother used to send us to Church (Sunday school) every week.   There we got to learn about Christ and Christian principles and about God.  We also had a load of fun colouring in pictures and listening to stories, and one of my most vivid memories of Christ was of him dressed in a long pure-white robe, a long vibrant sapphire blue cloak over that, brown sandals long brown hair and a beautiful smile.   That image was portrayed in a large book my Mother had given us of Bible Stories.

As we got older and started going to grown-up Church, sometimes my Mother (or Father – depending on whom we were living with at the time) would come with us, most times not), I recall that the preacher – of whichever church was nearest at the time (we moved a lot), would stand on his pulpit and either preach about how God would punish us for various sins etc and banish us to hell, or would preach about a loving God who forgave all sins.   This confused the heck out of me and I could not relate that to the pictures I had seen in the book or the stories I had read. (I do confess I have never read the bible through, only got as far as Genesis and touched on Revelations, as well as briefly on others in between).

In the fullness of time church went out the window and religion took a back-seat to real life, and we practised what my Mother called a ‘shot-gun’ religion – church for weddings, christenings, funerals and the occasional seasonal catch up.   Although I then considered myself to be a Christian the reality was that I did not lead a Christian lifestyle.   Neither I, nor my siblings were either; Baptised, Christened or whatever.   We had conflicting experiences of how life should be lived and how life was lived – leading to total confusion.   Although I pretty much gave up on ‘religion’ per se, I was still curious and over the years I investigated, albeit briefly, different religions; touching on Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, I went to different churches: Methodist; Church of England; Catholic; and Baptist and even ventured into the world of Seventh Day Adventists.

When my daughter went to school, I sent her to a Catholic School for most of her junior years, the result of which that she has sworn off religion for life (so far).  (Actually, the Toasim venture, was unwittingly mitigated by her; through a Chinese school friend she was helping to learn English and who was teaching her Mandarin in return.)   We were totally taken with the whole experience and faithfully attended services every Friday, which lasted till they told us that cats don’t have souls!   Bearing in mind: I am a cat lover of note, had five cats at the time, one of whom had just been killed by a car that very day – bad timing).  Taosim went out the window.

On the rare occasion I have attended church since my childhood, it is usually to pray for someone else (I do believe in an Almighty God/Entity), to attend Easter Service or Christmas Eve Mass (I enjoy the carols) and for weddings, funerals, christenings and very occasionally just because I want to enjoy the spiritual environment.   Other than that I am totally taken with old churches and cathedrals and love wandering about whether they be whole or in ruins.   It is more for the aesthetic beauty than religious, and I also love the traditions.

Which brings me to spirituality.   I would consider myself to be a spiritual person; I had an amazing experience at Date With Destiny (see my book).   And I have been thinking; what is religion as opposed to spirituality and how does spirituality fit into our daily lives?   Doing some research, of course my first stop was Wikipedia and this is what I found.

Traditionally, religions have regarded spirituality as an integral aspect of religious experience and have long claimed that secular (non-religious) people cannot experience “true” spirituality. Many do still equate spirituality with religion, but declining membership of organised religions and the growth of secularism in the western world has given rise to a broader view of spirituality.

Secular spirituality carries connotations of an individual having a spiritual outlook, which is more personalized, less structured, more open to new ideas/influences, and more pluralistic than that of the doctrinal faiths of organized religions. At one end of the spectrum, even some atheists are spiritual.   While atheism tends to lean towards scepticism regarding supernatural claims and the existence of an actual “spirit”, some atheists define “spiritual” as nurturing thoughts, emotions, words and actions that are in harmony with a belief that the entire universe is, in some way, connected; even if only by the mysterious flow of cause and effect at every scale.

Some modern religions also see spirituality in everything: see pantheism and neo-Pantheism. In a similar vein, Religious Naturalism has a spiritual attitude towards the awe, majesty and mystery it sees in the natural world.

For a Christian, to refer to him or herself as “more spiritual than religious” may (but not always) imply relative deprecation of rules, rituals, and tradition while preferring an intimate relationship with God. The basis for this belief is that Jesus Christ came to free humankind from those rules, rituals, and traditions, giving humankind the ability to “walk in the spirit” thus maintaining a “Christian” lifestyle through that one-to-one relationship with God.

Interesting!   This is just a small sample of what I found.  What are your thoughts?   Of course there is much, much more on the internet and the subject could be beaten to death, however, please bear in mind that I am not decrying, deriding or slating any religion, belief or way of life, in any way – I am just voicing what is my belief and how I have experienced life.   I do not wish to be ‘converted’ and if you leave any comments kindly do so at a constructive level, respecting the fact that everyone has a different set of beliefs, values and their own model of the world and that in my opinion we are all correct in our thinking and that we all have the right to our own beliefs.   I also do not feel that any one religion or religious sect, or way of thinking or set of beliefs, is either right or wrong; it just is.   How I do wish that we could all accept that.

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And so it is over for another 364 days!  The build up, the excitement, the resolutions all on the shelf for another year. What a shame.

How did I spend my New Year? Well here I am in Hove, near the sea which I love and I got to see fireworks courtesy of some kind souls in the neighbourhood.  I also watched the fireworks on the London Eye via my TV (what would I do without all our wonderful technology).

Then to my delight at about 00:12 my daughter phoned to say “Happy New Year”, and indeed…now it was.

Woke early the next day and took a brisk walk to the beach, such a gorgeous day was not to be missed. 🙂

The streets were quite deserted and except for the occassional pedestrian I hardly saw a soul.   I greeted these few hardy citizens, about so early and received either a cheery response, a grumpy growl or a look that could melt ice. 🙂

The sea and sky were an icy shade of blue and the sun was rising from the east (as it does), casting a beam of light across the waves.   On the beach were the words HAPPY NEW YEAR, and so it shall be.

01.01.10 Happy New Year on the beach at Hove

01.01.10 Hove - clear blue sky and clear blue sea, on New Years day in the morning

01.10.10 on the beach at Hove looking towards Brighton

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