Not Just a Granny

Okay, so I started my new job Monday 2 weeks ago, and my brain feels like it has been battered. I love learning new stuff and this last 2 weeks have been a real learning curve.  Thankfully I am familiar with programmes like excel and word and have over the years had to learn many new accounting systems, so slowly but surely I am gaining ground.

The office environment is the pits.  The office, one of quite a number of cells, is in the basement of a block of flats. Lots of concrete; grey and uninviting with no colour to be seen.  It’s a dark, grey and uninviting place to come in to on a daily basis.  The office itself is very basic without even a fridge for me to keep my milk in for tea, and the one thing thats keeping me sane is the view out the window, albeit a window covered with a thick metal grid.  At least I can see the sun and the sky and there are some lovely green trees in the gardens.

The two kids in the office are very sweet and very young and very bright. And  what I have found very VERY difficult is being taught by someone who is more than half my age!!!   Not that I mind learning from someone much younger than me…..but these two are very BYT’s ‘bright young things’ and the first week left me feeling totally inadequate and incredibly ‘slow’.  Dear lord.  I felt like quitting after the first week but the pain of it is that I am not a ‘quitter’, just the opposite in fact….I tend to not read the signs and battle on regardless till I either succeed or fall apart!  Not a good trait me thinks!

I think the worst of it was the heavy sighing and head shaking that permeated the air when I asked questions about something that we had already gone over.  Ok so I may not be the brightest pencil in the box, but that doesn’t make me stupid.  There are a number of disjointed systems that don’t match up and loads, and I mean loads of spreadsheets for which the information has to be collated from a number of different areas.   It’s bad enough trying to learn and memorise where everything comes from without a BYT shaking his head when I ask a question.  Okay, so yes we did it yesterday……..so what? Just give me the bloody answer already!!!   I hate it when I ask a question and the answer I get is ‘we went over this yesterday’!  Really? No shit!!!’   Every spreadsheet has a different name, they are all filed under different folders and ‘hello!’ I am not yet familiar with the systems you are working on!!!   geez……a real boost to my self-confidence.   And the one thing that really disturbed me in a great way was the comments: ‘your’e doing really well’, that is given like a pat on the head to a dog that has performed well!  Wow!!! no kidding!

Something that I have really battled with is unlearning the way I deal with things…..when working as a carer you are required to ‘ask’ before you do anything. ‘Is this ok for you?. Would you like me to do that. How would you like this done?’  So what’s happening now is that I keep asking questions instead of just ‘doing’.   Besides that it makes me a tad nervous when people say I should just do something the way I would do it and then when I do…..then it’s ‘well actually that’s not he way we would have do it!!!’  Well then….tell me how you would do it and don’t tell me to use my own initiative.  So I am trying to untangle the old way of doing things and retrain my brain to do instead of ask! Eish.

So am I enjoying the job so far?  The honest answer is not really.  I guess once I know what I am doing and can set up some systems, things may improve.  I am however loving learning all the new stuff, I also get to do some social media and that has been very successful so far, and I did my first blog the other day that was well received.  I am enjoying the interaction with customers on the phone and learning about the product has been brilliant.  I am hopeful that as time passes and I get to grips with all the stuff I have to learn about it will improve and I can begin to relax and enjoy the job.

So there thats my gripe out the way.  Some days I felt like I was walking through pea-soup. And on others I rejoiced in the fact that I could get out first thing in the morning.  On the bright side….I am loving the walk to work in the mornings and the hustle and bustle of the city.  This is such a beautiful area, lots of leafy green trees, fabulous regency houses and wide streets. I am currently living in Bayswater (although not in a place as posh as it sounds)!

some of the houses in the area

Oh and I discovered a fish and chip shop near to work that serves the most delicious chips ever! 🙂

Now it’s 2 weeks on, and although I am still wondering why on earth I accepted such a low salary, (besides the fact that this has put me into a real financial bind), I am fed up with myself for not placing more value on my skills and knowledge.  However, on the plus side I am enjoying the freedom of being able to ‘leave’ my place of work and ‘go home’.

Ah yes! Home?!! where is that?  Well, here’s the thing…….I don’t have a home!  Hahaha. No kidding.  When I quit my job I gave up the accommodation that went with it, as well as the 3 meals a day, 3 well-balanced meals I might add!!! and  I have stayed at 6 different places since the 6th August.  ( I did a short stint of cat-sitting for a few days too).    On the plus side…..I have lost well over 4kgs since 6th August when I left my carer job behind.  If you could see the food I have been eating lately (mostly fruit and fibre cereal) and while I was staying at my friends flat I lived on tinned tomato soup and porrige (not together of course)……along with the lack of sleep, I am amazed I am still standing.  But at least I am able to buy food     I look at homeless people now with a completely different perspective.