I am watching a programme on TV at the moment about ‘Bride stealing’ in Chechnya. It seems that this has become a regular occurance in the country and is now becoming part of the law and working it’s way into tradition.
What happens is that a boy sees a girl he fancies, he then arranges with a family member to help him steal her. The girl has absolutely no say in this matter, is often taken against her will (there are girls who are ok with this), then forced into marrying the boy. Sometimes if she is ‘lucky’ the boy is a distant family member and life would not be too bad for her, she may even be lucky enough to ‘get on’ with her Mother-in-law.
Once she is ‘married’ she becomes his ‘property’ and he is pretty much able to treat her as he wishes. Sometimes the boy’s family will ask the girls family in the presence of an Elder of the Islamic authority. He, the Elder, is the person who conducts the ‘wedding’ and he dictates how she should be dressed and pretty much everything else about the proceedings.
The women of the country shrug their shoulders and say “that is the way things are, it’s not too bad.” Even her parents do not have any say about the matter and just wish her well. There was a whole lot more to the programme and that would take too long to explain.
So, here’s the thing….I will always be grateful that I was born into a culture and country where women do have a say in their lives, where we can say ‘No!’ if something is not to our liking and where we have the freedom to make choices.
Not Just a Granny 
..amen to all you have just said, unfortunately nothing is going to change in any of those countries where women are oppressed until they start to speak out and protest, just like the suffragettes did in the 1800’s, and the feminist later on in the 1960’s.
😦
hi Ivonne, lovely as always to see you here. 🙂 thanks for dropping by. You are quite right that nothing will change, however as JC said, sadly those women are so not considered to be of any importance and in a ‘patriarcal’ society: (1. A social system in which the father is the head of the family and men have authority over women and children). even less so. Most of these societies are based on that system…..and until that changes, nothing else will. This is such a debateable subject and of course we all have our own ideas, beliefs and opinions. and how jolly good that is. I cant imagine how boring it would be if we all believed the same thing! However, having said that… my belief is that what those women have to endure is immoral, as well as all the terrible things women have had to endure over the ages and still do…eg African cultures where women are circumsised….a contentious issue if there ever was one. so yeah, there is a lot that is not good, and as for me…..as I said before…I am grateful that I was born into the life I was.
I saw this doco a while back. At first I thought it was kinda funny, until I realised it was for real. I’m all for cultural differences and people believing and doing different things and living in ways that are totally alien to my own way of life. But there’s a limit to how different. I don’t care if you’re my next door neighbour or part of an unknown tribe in some lost world, if you or you’re culture show a lack of respect and decency towards others, then you will have no respect from me.
Unfortunately I fear that Ivonne’s idea for women to speak out and protest, will not work in these countries and will result in the women being tortured and killed. When women stood up for their rights in our western countries, we were at least somewhat civilised (somewhat…). I don’t think these countries are civil enough to handle an uprising. They will just beat it back down and eradicate the threat.
As westerners we should protect our way of life by not allowing people with such views into our countries. Our Governments seem hell bent on spreading the word of “Democracy” I wish they’d educate people to live with respect for each other first and then offer political ideologies.
hi JC, yes, I absolutely agree with you in that respect, and sadly I do believe that you are right about the women being beaten down and killed. Although, I have to say that the women of the 19th century went through some pretty horrific situations themselves….locked up and beaten by those that were threatened by their ‘uprising’…..look at the Suffragetes in the UK. They went thru some pretty nasty situations before they won out, so to speak. I also agree that our governments are totally over the top with their idiotic policies. I don’t believe that democracy gives us that much more freedom anyway….thing ‘Big Brother’ We are monitored every step of the way from the day we are born till we die. It’s a fascinating subject for debate….. As you say….respect the beliefs of others and so long as they don’t ram it down my throat….we can be friends. And I am still grateful for being born into a Western Society.
Hi Cindy,
I wasn’t meaning to detract anything from what the Suffragettes and women went through, I’m sure it was pretty awful. I was just meaning to point out that I don’t think some of these countries are even at that level of civilisation.
I think in the democracy debate, freedom is used as a promise to lure people into it’s grasp but then never delivers on it. In fact freedoms are being taken away from us on a daily basis.
Having said that and as much disdain as I have for our government, I too am still glad to have grown up and live in the western world. Best of a bad bunch 🙂
ah no that’s cool. I didnt take it wrong 🙂 Just commenting! thanks for dropping by.
I heard an interesting discussion of the burkha debate the other day. Those discussions always seem to ignore things like this.
yup, that they mostly do. I guess it depends on which side of the debate your’e sitting and I guess it is human nature to uphold what we believe in and ignore that which we don’t….or push it aside as unimportant. Fear is a great motivation for reviling someone else’s belief system.
Yes we are very lucky to be living in a country that is still working under the democratic system and allows us the freedom to voice our opinions and still affords us ‘freedom of thought’, but if we sit back and allow these oppressive authoritarian people, misguided under Islamism, to permeate our free world as they are at the alarming accelerated pace they are doing it, then we too will soon loose our freedoms and be forced to live under their rule of horrific tyranny.
Don’t be fooled into thinking this is isolated to countries out of our reach… these draconian practices are being tried already in our own country and a great aggressive push is under way to turn our wonderful free country with our traditional values into an Islamic state, where by we will all loose all our freedoms specifically our freedom of choice.
Go to this petition if you want to make a difference:
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/defendaustralianculture/
No person on the face of this Earth, or beyond, has the right to steal another person’s freedom of choice; that is the one and only law of the Universe, that every living entity has the freedom of choice.
“Every living entity has the freedom of choice”
A living entity is essentially defined as a being that is in proprietary ownership of a soul (mind and will) enabling self awareness with the ability to exercise creative imagination… therefore by definition, a living entity requires as a fundamental process the ability to make free choice.
Now that might sound like a lot of blah-dee-blah to you, but it is simply saying, no one has the right to rob or oppress another person’s freedom of choice… no one!
The accompaniment to that Universal law is a great desire that every single one of us live our life in ‘total’ benevolence, meaning we are equally benevolent to ourselves as we are too all others, including the Earth that cradles our existence. Living by this ideal ensures that the law of freedom of choice is never abused and serves to unify all, and promote a progressively creative future for all.
If we all lived our life by these two ideals, no one could ever do wrong by anyone, and instead of the world being constantly inhibited and hindered by aggressive destructive and malevolent parasitical behaviour, then the world and humanity (us) would progressively evolve with a focus toward creative construction and harmonious sustainability into a greater future than we ever dreamed.
Thanks, I hope I have helped, because that is my quest… it is ‘The Rocket’s destiny to help!’
Hi Tommy, thanks for dropping by. I totally agree with you regarding the oppressive aspects of Islam, however I feel it is pertinent to point out that all religions have their oppressive aspects, including Christianity. Personally I do not follow any religion but aspire to live my life according to Buddist principles. I am totally against any one religion ‘taking’ over and imposing their ‘rules’, but that is what the Christians did if you recall; everywhere they could get to. I guess religions wax and wane as the centuries go by and history testifies to that. The best we can do is uphold our traditions and respect those of others. I have nothing against any religion per se, what I have a beef about is when it is rammed down my throat and I am ‘told’ that I have to follow what are their belief system and values. You are so very right in what you say about how we should each have the freedom of choice. Sadly, history will prove that really….we have no choice at all. We are all governed by rules and regulations of either our society, religion, government or beliefs and values of someone else whether that is of our parents, teachers or ‘others’. Nevertheless, let us celebrate what we can ‘choose’….and for me that is to respect the beliefs and values of others even if I do not agree to it myself……and also thank whoever is ultimately in control whether is is God, Allah, Budda or whoever, that I was born into a ‘democratic’ country and can make some freedom of choice decisions. (and on that issue, my belief is that life is governed by genes and evolution) and our ‘destiny’ is not controlled by ‘anyone’ spiritual or not. If you are born into an oppressive society…that is just bloody bad luck (not that I believe in luck either…just to complicate things a bit 🙂 ). I doubt that God in whatever form he may take is mean enough to say “Ok, chum you’re for the ‘poor’ unfortunates line and hey you over there…..you can be born into a life of love, wealth and luxury”. Its just chance. Anyway, time to get off my soap box 🙂 Thanks again for contributing, I appreciate your point of view.