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Posts Tagged ‘http://www.notjustagranny.com’

When do you touch someone? Or more importantly when don’t you?  Why do you touch someone and why don’t you?   What is the etiquette of greeting people?   How well do you have to know someone, before you kiss them hello? Do you kiss them on the cheek once? Or twice!

It’s a social minefield.  The truth is that we have become a nation of touchy-feelies, a nation of huggers.   Not that hugging is a bad thing – after all there is nothing wrong with a little human warmth.

How do you remain private when everyone else wants to touch you?

In a society where genuine warmth has been replaced by the pretence of warmth, you protest at your peril.   Wanting to keep your own personal space is increasingly being seen as a bit cold, unfriendly and uptight.

In the past, people didn’t kiss, or openly hug or rub each other’s shoulders.   But it’s all changed.   Men and women greet each other and members of the opposite sex with a physical warmth that would have been unacceptable even, a decade or so ago.   In the past, men shook hands with other men in a formal fashion – then they shook hands with the ladies they were introduced to.

Watch any TV show these days and you will notice a lot of hugging going on between the hosts and the participants.   It has become a common practice to hug on stage when someone wins a prize, arrives for a show and even heterosexual men have now become far less uptight about giving and receiving hugs.

In a way, we’ve all become more Euro-centric in that sense.   People living in countries such as Italy, France and Spain have always kissed each other hello.

In 1959, psychologist Edward T Hall defined personal space as an ’emotionally charged bubble of space which surrounds each individual’ and added that anything closer than 5ft was to close for anyone other than intimate relations.

Current estimations of the accepted distance in the U.S. now ranges from 18ft to 4ft, and endless experts study this subject – it is called the study of proxemics.

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Prepare yourself for fame.  We’ve all tried to imagine what it would be like to be famous.  Going to the shops in a chauffeur-driven limo, treated like royalty and waited on hand and foot.  These days, being a celebrity is a job in itself – it can happen to almost anyone and some people are truly awful at it.   So don’t be negative about your ambitions to be rich and famous – just make sure that when you get there, you know how to behave and not make a fool of yourself.

When you are famous and you’re walking down the red carpet at a film premier and people are screaming at you for an autograph, you should have your signature practised to perfection. Make it suitable flamboyant and never refuse to give it to someone.   Practise your superstar walk too!

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10 Useful steps for your New Year budget:

1)  Think before you spend.

Stick to a realistic budget that includes everything.

2)  Keep a tally of what you spend.

It is very simple to set up a spreadsheet; enter all your purchases and you will soon see where you could cut back on impulse buys

3)  Avoid impulse buys.

Plan your birthday calendar; think ahead of who you wish to buy a gift for and when you find something suitable, buy it then rather than an overspend at the last minute.

4)  Use cash for your small purchases.

Set aside a specific amount each month for those quick buys, saves interest on the credit card.

5)  Find ways to make rather than buy.

Try making your own greeting cards for special occasions.

6)  Generate extra money.

We all have a skill we can use to earn extra cash.

7)  Download free software such as skype.

Many people these days have computers – using skype to skype could save you a fortune on overseas calls.

8)  Save up for special treats.

Pick a coin value e.g. £1 and every time you get one in your change put it into a money box, you’ll be amazed how quickly they add up.

9)  Cut back on transport costs.

Make use of oyster cards or similar; walk if you can, wherever you can.

10)  Put the money you save into an ISA and start saving for next Christmas or that special holiday.

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What is Personal Development and what does it mean to you?
Personal Development takes many forms and is not necessarily just about attending a course or seminar.  It can be learning to drive a car or raising funds for charity.

How do you know if and when you need Personal Development and why?
What would be the point of engaging in a given course of action?
What would be the steps you need to take?
And why would you even want to start?
When you engage in a given course of ‘Personal Development’, what are the components needed?

Say for example on the 1st of January as one of your New Year’s resolutions you decide to run in a marathon, where do you start?

First of all think about why you want to do the marathon and what is the result you want to achieve.
Are you competing or participating?   Do you see yourself actually completing the course?

Are you doing the marathon to raise funds for charity, and what is your objective?
If you are raising money for charity, is it a cause you feel passionate about and how much would you want to raise?   Will you advertise to raise funds, depend on your friends and family or seek corporate sponsorship?   Will you raise a lump sum or a set a goal per kilometre?

Are you doing the marathon as part of a group or on your own?

Or are you running in the marathon because you think you need to get fit and lose weight?
Are you already fairly fit or are you an ex-couch potato?
Did your Doctor suggest the programme or is this something you just want to do for yourself and why?
Will you have a buddy to keep you motivated?   Who will you buddy with and what is their objective?   Is it someone you know will stay the course?

Identifying your motive, where you are now and your end result will help you to clarify your objectives, and set the parameters of action steps to take.
What date is the marathon?   If it is 6months away and you are really unfit, how much time do you need to invest per day, and how many days per week?
Do you need to give up anything in order to start the programme?
What level of fitness do you have to achieve in order to last the course?
Do you have to make changes to your routine and or home life in order to participate?   What equipment do you need?   Do you have to change your eating habits and give anything up?

Before you start on any programme relating to your own Personal Development it helps to identify your reasons, what will motivate you and keep you going, what will you need in order to overcome the challenges that lie ahead?   Do you have the time to participate and what do you have to give up in order to set that time aside?

Lets assume you want to learn to drive a car and get a Driver’s Licence.
Why do you need to learn to drive?   Is it just because you want to, or because you have to?
How will learning to drive make your life different once you have gained your license?
Will you hire a Driving Instructor or arrange for a friend to teach you?
Do you have a deadline for achieving the license?
How will this help the people around you and what are the benefits to you?

In order to achieve any objective as part of a Personal Development plan, it helps to identify your motivations, your desires, your objections, the challenges, your final goal, and how will it affect the people around you?   Are you prepared to make the commitment needed, and most importantly, when times get tough, as they do, what is it that will get you to continue?
As with any course of action, having a solid reason and a plan for doing it will help you to achieve what you set out to do.

quote: “Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising, which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.’’  Ralph Waldo Emerson – Poet and Essayist

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According to the Sunday Times of 08.11.09 the jobless graduate tally has hit 100,000.

The number of jobless university leavers is expected to break the 100,000 barrier, heightening fears of a “lost generation”.

Tens of thousands of out-of-work graduates from the class of 2009 have joined the 70,000 from 2008 who have still not found employment, official figures are expected to confirm.

The flood of applicants for the shrinking number of graduate jobs had led recruiters to become increasingly tough in their entrance requirements.

Unemployment data published by the Office for National Statistics will also show that the total number of jobless under 25 passed the 1million barrier in October, up from 946,000 in August.   The number of new graduates unable to find a job means the nearly 8% of those aged under 25 with a degree are now without a job.

So where does that leave the over 50’s.

As the years have gone by employers tend to employ people who are younger rather than the over 50’s and ageism has crept into the workplace, despite protests to the contrary.   Reaching 50 can be quite daunting and it is extremely difficult to compete with the younger generation for jobs, especially if you are returning to the workplace after a break.

Did you know: the number of Baby Boomers alive in 2030 will be 57.8 million!   And far from dwindling into the mists of time and irrelevance, born between 1946 & 1964, Baby Boomers are the largest demographic segment today!

I was reading an article in the November 2008 issue of Good Housekeeping and came across an article about women who had made major changes in their lives, and one of them really caught my eye.

The lady in question at the age of 52, divorced her husband, went to America to retrain as a Life Coach, set up her own business and now has her own home and freedom she never experienced before.

Was it easy?   Probably not!

You could settle for the Job Centre route, becoming a statistic on a long list of people waiting for employment, helping someone else build their business, and possibly somwhere along the line lose that job for any number of reasons, you could study for years and build a career, work hard and invest years of your life, again possibly standing the chance of losing your position, or you could take a leap of faith and start your own business.

Why start your own business?   There is a tremendous risk involved with starting up your own business.   There are many issues to be considered, particularly finance, and yet, in this age of insecurity and retrenchments, with more and more people being made redundant, the option of a job becomes less and less likely and less attractive.

So what are the options for starting your own business.

The first thing to consider is what experience do you have, what do you enjoy and what are you passionate about?   Statistics have proven that if you really love what you do, you will make a success of it.

Get together with a group of friends and brainstorm some ideas.   You would be amazed at what our friends know about us! 🙂

Do you enjoy writing?  You could do a course and put together a book, it could be about something you have a lot of experience in, a ‘How To’ if you like.

Do you enjoy dancing?   You could set up a group for your peers and charge them per session and have a load of fun into the bargain 🙂

Do you have expertise in sewing?   You could offer basic lessons to the mothers at the local school, in today’s economic climate many women would probably like to save a bit and make their kiddies clothes.

Perhaps you had a career in Accounting; consider setting up a training course on how to set and manage budgets.

You could also consider joining an MLM or Network Marketing Company.   The set up costs are usually minimal and the industry has produced more millionaires in the last 50 years than any other industry in the world, ever.   In 2008 Avon received a massive boost when a young lady, Debbie Davis who had lost her job, became an Avon representative, aged just 29 she became Britain’s most successful seller.

You could set up a Joint Venture with someone, pool your experiences and offer your services.

On another level, you could offer courses at the local Community Centre.  What about painting, or drawing or cooking; think Nigella Lawson.

Are you good with your hands?   Many women are exceptionally handy with their hands and have had years of experience fixing things in the house; d.i.y.   You could offer a basic service in the neighbourhood; changing light bulbs, plugs, whatever; offer a service.

What is available for women our age, the Baby Boomers?

And as we explore those options, let us celebrate the unalienable fact that we have so many more opportunities open to us than our mothers did.   We are no longer constrained by the rules of society, we have a choice and in exercising those choices we are able to experience the freedom that brings.

p.s. although I am not a representative for Avon I am in the MLM business.

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Hello, lovely to see you here; thanks for visiting!

I was working on some articles today, on health and wellbeing for the forum, and whilst taking a break I was reading through some articles on one of my favourite websites:

http://www.guruhabits.com by Brad Paul

I came across this article and felt it was perfect for the health section as stress is one of the greatest killers of our times.  His suggestions make a lot of sense so I thought I would share them with you and wish you a stress-less life!

I have edited the article a wee bit to make it shorter, but if you want to read the full article, go to – http://guruhabits.com

“The desire to reduce stress is a common goal for most people. We are so entrenched in our routines, habits, and ways of doing things we rarely stop and consider new ways of dealing with the stresses of daily living.

By simplifying your style, you are setting up how you are going to respond to stress creating events in advance. In other words, you are making a decision based on your desire to reduce stress in your life.
Your goal is to set up new ways of handling issues that bring about stress because of the negative emotions that they create. Here are 9 areas where you can simplify your style and in doing so reduce stress.

1. Stop Arguing
Arguing is a waste of time. No one ever wins. If you win an argument, the other person feels slighted and annoyed by you. If you lose, you feel this way about them.

Simplify your style into being a person who does not argue.

2. Stop Giving Your Unsolicited Opinion
Closely related to arguing is the compulsion to give your opinion when you haven’t been asked for it. People instantly become resistant and defensive when someone gives their unsolicited opinion.

Simplify your style into being a person who doesn’t give your opinion unless you’re asked for it emphatically
3. Stop Reacting When Others Speak Angrily
When people talk angrily about something, our tenancy is to react to their anger by getting tight, defensive, and stressed. Unless the anger is directed at us, there is no logical reason to react this way.

Modify your style into being a person who does not react to another person’s anger.

4. Stop Requiring Perfection of Yourself & Others
Perfection is an impossible objective. In reality, the drive for perfection gets in the way of creativity.

Simplify your style into being a person who doesn’t require perfection by knowing that it’s a fool’s quest.

5. Stop Trying to Please Everyone
Trying to please everyone is insanity. If you consider all the variations of personalities and likes and dislikes of people, it should be obvious that trying to please everyone is impossible and a waste of time.

Modify your style into being a person who does not try to please everyone.
6. Stop Trying to Make Everyone Like You
Do you like everyone you meet? No one does. Knowing this, why should you expect everyone to like you?

Simplify your style into being a person who does not try to make everyone like you, but rather a person who relies on just being yourself.

7. Stop Grieving About Past Mistakes
Grieving about mistakes you’ve made in the past is a clear waste of time. The only possible outcome is that you’ll feel depressed in the present! And when you feel depressed, you greatly reduce your ability to take constructive action today that will improve your future.

Adjust your style into being a person who doesn’t grieve about mistakes in the past but rather rejoices in what you have today and what you intend to manifest in the future.

8. Stop Worrying About What Might Happen in the Future
By worrying about what might happen in the future, we actually create the conditions for manifesting it. Most things we worry about never come true. According to the Law of Attraction, it takes a lot more negative thoughts to bring about bad results than it does to manifest positive outcomes. This explains for me why most of what we worry about never comes true. Worry is a waste of time. It’s also very damaging to your physical and mental health.

Simplify your style into being a person who doesn’t worry about what might happen in the future, but rather a person who imagines living the future that they desire in the present.

9. Stop Researching & Analyzing So Much and Start Doing
Researching and analyzing things in order to make the best possible decision is a good practice if it leads to a timely decision to act! If the research and analysis goes too far and decisions are postponed, this is a stress-producing problem.

Modify your style in being a person who does a predetermined amount of research and analysis and then makes a timely decision based on the information gathered, gut feelings, and courage!
***
If you think about the people in your life you admire, many of them probably have the style that I am encouraging. This style will reduce stress, enhance your health, and earn respect from others.” end of article.

I am going to add these suggestions to my plan for the future!   Thanks for visiting this site.   As mentioned before, for the full article and to gain more wisdom go to:

http://www.guruhabits.com (p.s. I am not an affiliate – I just like his site)

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“On this day of your life, dear friend, we believe God wants you to know……that you are valued more than you know, by more people than you think.

It might be good to get in touch today with your true worth.

It is much higher than you often give it credit for being — and now is a perfect time to know, and to gently assert, that fact.

This is not about arrogance and it is not about overconfidence.

It is about a simple, dignified Knowing.

You will not have to think but a second to understand precisely why you received this message today.” –Neale Donald Walsch

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Why have a Plan?

Quote: “Failures don’t plan to fail; they fail to plan.” Harvey MacKay. This has been quoted by many other well known names in different formats, but the meaning remains the same!

When someone starts a business they usually set up a Business Plan before they start!  Well most people do anyway 🙂

Of course it makes sense to do this since they have to present this to the Bank to get funding, or to a prospective Business Partner.

Why not then a Life Plan for our lives?

Statistics have shown that very few people sit down and prepare a plan for their lives.

Why is this do you think?

Perhaps your parents never did, perhaps they never really thought about it and subsequently you did not learn the skill.

A plan, a.k.a. setting goals, is a roadmap for where we want to go and what we want to do in life.

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Abraham Lincoln

We make plans for holidays, mostly, (of course it is great fun to take a spontaneous holiday), but on the whole we do the research: where we want to go, what we want to see, where we want to stay, how much money we are going to take to make it a great holiday, how we are going to get there, and we set a date.

Planning our lives should contain the same components.   Why then do so few people sit down and make a plan for their lives?

Is it an innate sceptism?   Are we fearful of setting parameters for our lives; maybe missing out on something if it is not included in the plan?

I have all my life rebelled against setting goals i.e. making a plan, preferring instead to ‘go with the flow’.   Well here I am at 54years, and with 4 months to go till my 55th, I am where the flow has taken me!   And, it is not entirely to my satisfaction.  But……..

As Anthony Robbins would say: “The past does not equal the future.”

I have been swept along, and carried by the waves of life, going with the flow and now I have washed up on the beach of ‘nowhere’.

If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up some place else. Yogi Berra

In the last few months after a long journey of Personal Development I am finally at the stage where I get it!!   I have to have a plan.   To that end, I have in the last few weeks found myself far more focussed and this is after just setting a few plans down on paper, and I am making good progress :).

“The Universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” Eden Phillpots

Now, with an eye on the future, I have set a day aside to draw up a plan for the next year, the next 2 years and so on.   On the first of January 2010, I will be sitting down with my startupprincess guide and when I have completed that, I intend writing up a plan, setting some goals of what I want to achieve and where I am going.  This will be my roadmap, my guide for where I want to go and what I want to achieve for the next year and beyond.

The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them.   Even the most tedious chore will become endurable, as you parade through each day, convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to achieving your dreams.  Og Mandino 1923-1996 Author

Awesome!

What are your plans for 2010 and for the future?   Once you have your plan; your roadmap for 2010 here is a tip:

Look at your plan and see how it has been written.   Have you used any ‘away-from’ goals?  E.g. I want to lose weight. Or I want to give up ‘whatever’.

Look at your plan/goals and check if they can be written in a more positive way.  What about including: enthusiastic, fun, strong, and loving way.

Plans tend to happen more rapidly when we work ‘on’ them and ‘in’ them at the same time.   What this means is that they need developing and growing, just as surely as you grow and develop.   Goals and plans should never be static, they should be an active, growing thing, alive and constantly developing.   I never got that, till recently 🙂

Goals should be in clear language, inspiring and exciting and include having fun.  E.g. If you want to achieve a certain weight that requires increasing your level of activity, find something that you really enjoy and participate in that.  For instance, I love walking and have now made it a goal of mine to walk every day for at least 30 minutes, ergo; I have a plan: I get fit, I enjoy the action and in time I will achieve my target and at the same time I get to experience more of the world around me.

If something unexpected happens, as things do, look at how it can be accommodated in your plan, and if you have to take a slight detour, it will be easier to deal with because you have a plan.   You will be able to get back on track as lot sooner if you have a roadmap!

Good luck for 2010, enjoy your planning!

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Walking in a winter wonderland – 18.12.09 Snow in Hove  🙂

How absolutely marvellous life is! I woke up this morning to a wonderful world of white, white glorious snow.

early morning snow; Hove 18.12.09

a winter wonderland

Although it had started snowing last night before I went to bed, I did not expect to wake up this morning to such an amazing spectacle.   The snow is at least 6 inches deep in places and since it has not snowed in Hove for many, many years, this is a treat beyond words.

I was feeling somewhat envious of the snow my daughter was enjoying in London, and to experience it here too, is just marvellous.

Looking out my window just after 7am, although it was still gloomily dark, the houses across the way were faintly visible, their roofs and balconies dressed in sparkling white.   The cars lining the street, hunched and slumbering beneath their shrouds waited patiently for impatient owners to free them.

cars shrouded with snow


Dressing as quickly as I could, what with having to pull on 5 layers of items, I hurried down to greet the morning!   The snow lay thick and crunchy underfoot as I ran and jumped up and down pristine driveways and through the piles on the sidewalk; as yet unsullied (till now) 🙂

footprints in pristine snow 🙂

A jolly snowman, arms uplifted with joy, smiled widely as I walked on by.

happy snowman

The naked trees dressed in this winter finery, glittered and glowed, their branches spread wide to the world, piled high with this fine powdery dusting.

swathes of snow cover lawns yesterday green

trees dressed in winter finery

Lawns, just yesterday green, now an expanse of diamond sparkles.   The houses look magnificent, covered in this lovely snow, lights behind curtains adding a cosy atmosphere.

picture postcard perfect

Overhead the sky glowers dark and grey, everywhere the call of the seagulls, confused and bewildered, the genetic coding of this generation not set for snow.   Under bushes and trees, branches low and laden are tiny footprints of early risers.  Unsure today if they’ll get that worm!

snow laden branches

A lonely park-bench waits, no one there now to pass the time of day!

red postbox crowned with snow

A bright red post-box crowned with snow, a little red scooter nearby vies for attention,

a little red scooter

and no one notices the forgotten clothes left out, unwanted three days ago.   As the hour passes by, the sky starts lightening now, a dusty pink tinges the clouds as the sun beats down forcing a break in the heavy mass.

People trudge by on their awkward way, slipping and sliding through icy patches, hoping possibly in vain for transport to their destinations.

trudging to work

Some grumpy, some happy, some smiling, some gay, some building snowmen observed via video link by family far, far away.

fun in the snow - building a snowman

Stop to chat awhile, enjoy the magic it’ll be gone soon and life goes back to grey.

The roads already turned slushy, dark brown and muddy, the dirt and grit from over the months all churned up and hindering progress. 

snow churned up along the road

Unexpectedly warm out, the snow is crunchy underfoot, slippery patches hidden below, catching you unawares.   Now the sun comes out and the sound of melting is heard all about, drip, drip, drip as it slowly gives in to the warming rays.

the sun shines through

Today it snowed! Hooray. 

Me! 🙂 18.12.09 snow in Hove

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As a subscriber to The Small Business Angel newsletters and blogposts, I found this one to be particularly interesting.   Leadership:

by: Michele Milligan, Source Unknown

The following was written by a high school student writing an essay for her final exam:

“A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent. In the end, leaders are much like eagles… they don’t flock, you find them one at a time.” Hard work, profound dedication, and encouragement toward others are what entitle an individual to be a leader.

A strong work ethic is one important quality of an adroit leader. As the saying goes: “There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy.” Hard work and intense dedication can only make you better, both mentally and skillfully. If others see one person working as hard as they can 100% of the time, they will work harder for that one person. No matter how unmotivated people are, if just one person steps up and takes the lead, everybody else will follow. Leaders motivate others.

Many people find themselves working harder when they know that they get something out of it. Just by hearing a few pushing words that motivate and encourage, people force themselves to work harder. Leaders are usually the ones who ignore their own accomplishments to commend others for theirs. The leader keeps everybody’s head up at all times, as they work harder and harder, and more diligently toward their goals. The number one thing that a leader tries to avoid is making people feel guilty or to look down on them because leaders bring others higher in the world, usually with the result being success. As a noble person once said, “There are high spots in all of our lives, and most of them come through encouragement from someone else.”

Hard work from one person makes other work harder. Vehement dedication shows others the success that comes through it. Encouragement and support for others make others feel good about themselves and give them something else to work for. These are all very significant traits that a leader must possess. Don’t wait around for things to happen, make this world what you really want it to be, be a leader.

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