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Posts Tagged ‘english language’

🤔 Why …do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Why ……do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
EVER WONDER …
Why the sun lightens our hair,
But darkens our skin ?
Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

Why is thesaurus only one word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport ‘the terminal’?
Why? Good question.
Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (may be even a chuckle)….in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.. 🤔

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Saw these on a Facebook post yesterday…..Sure to make you smile. I thought #13 was brilliant and #15 is an excellent idea.

Ponder on these imponderables for a minute……

  1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
  2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
  3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
  5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
  8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
  9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
  10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
  11. Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one? (I like this one alot!)
  12. ‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?
  13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
  14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
  15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?
  16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
  17. No one ever says, ‘It’s only a game’ when their team is winning.
  18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
  19. Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
  20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
  21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?..:)

I originally had this in yesterday’s post, but thought I’d put them separately because they are worth looking at on their own. I love this kind of thing….

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About 6 months ago I decided to go ‘great’ free. I was having one of my ‘ffs I hate D. Trump’ days after one of his latest vicious bigoted narcissistic misogynistic rants on a video I saw on Facebook (why do I EVEN watch them???) One of his favourite words is ‘great’. So I decided there and then to never again use the word ‘great’ in any written articles, replies or responses to anything anywhere. Since I am a bit of a ‘linguaphile’ anyway, it suits me to try my darndest to find alternative words.

 

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English is such a magical language, it’s expressive, descriptive and manipulative, and by using certain words you can change the whole meaning of something e.g. I will toast my bread. If you do that you are toast! I particularly love/enjoy/like words that have the same spelling but have different meanings – consider the word ‘bow’ – depending on how you use it, it’s spelt the same, but has a different meaning in context of the action, and even the pronunciation changes accordingly:

Can you make a ‘bow’ out of this ribbon?

When you meet the Queen you must ‘bow’.

The front of the boat is the ‘bow’.

An archer shoots an arrow from his ‘bow’.

A whole sentence: When we loosen the bow, the Queen will smash the bottle against the bow of the ship, but remember to bow when she arrives or her archer will shoot you with their bow. hahahaha. I just made that up. I love it. 🙂

We have become incredible lazy when responding to a situation by using the word ‘great’ for just about anything…that’s a great hairdo. Your hair looks great. What a great party. I had a great walk. That was great fun. She’s such a great person. The sea looks great today….etc etc You get the picture. Urgh. Why do we use that simplistic word when we have so many interesting, splendiferous, expressive, descriptive words to use in the English language.

So here’s how we can change that:

That’s a great hairdo. = That’s a really stunning hair style, it suits you.

Your hair looks great. = Your hair is looking lovely today.

What a great party. = What a fantastic party. What an enjoyable party.

I had a great walk. = I had an enjoyable walk. I had an exhilarating walk.

That was great fun. = That was so much fun. That was terrific fun.

She’s such a great person. = She’s an admirable person. She’s so personable.

The sea looks great today = The sea looks beautiful/gorgeous/amazing today.

What a great day. = What a terrific/brilliant/superb day.

And so it goes. Since I made the decision to dispel that awful word from my vocabulary, when I’m replying to something on facebook or making a comment I try to find suitable words that are more descriptive, more expressive.Funny-Quotes-English-Language-1 - Mr Tumblr

When I write my blogs, I avoid the word great altogether. While writing this blog I did a google search ‘words to use rather than great’ and look at this ‘fun’ ‘funky’ ‘useful’ ‘brilliant’ ‘clever’ ‘interesting’ website I found 😉

111 words to use instead of great’ https://www.grammarcheck.net/synonyms-great/

I have managed very successfully to avoid using the word except now and then when I accidentally vocalise the word without thinking. Down with great I say….

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