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finding my way

Okay, so I started my new job Monday 2 weeks ago, and my brain feels like it has been battered. I love learning new stuff and this last 2 weeks have been a real learning curve.  Thankfully I am familiar with programmes like excel and word and have over the years had to learn many new accounting systems, so slowly but surely I am gaining ground.

The office environment is the pits.  The office, one of quite a number of cells, is in the basement of a block of flats. Lots of concrete; grey and uninviting with no colour to be seen.  It’s a dark, grey and uninviting place to come in to on a daily basis.  The office itself is very basic without even a fridge for me to keep my milk in for tea, and the one thing thats keeping me sane is the view out the window, albeit a window covered with a thick metal grid.  At least I can see the sun and the sky and there are some lovely green trees in the gardens.

The two kids in the office are very sweet and very young and very bright. And  what I have found very VERY difficult is being taught by someone who is more than half my age!!!   Not that I mind learning from someone much younger than me…..but these two are very BYT’s ‘bright young things’ and the first week left me feeling totally inadequate and incredibly ‘slow’.  Dear lord.  I felt like quitting after the first week but the pain of it is that I am not a ‘quitter’, just the opposite in fact….I tend to not read the signs and battle on regardless till I either succeed or fall apart!  Not a good trait me thinks!

I think the worst of it was the heavy sighing and head shaking that permeated the air when I asked questions about something that we had already gone over.  Ok so I may not be the brightest pencil in the box, but that doesn’t make me stupid.  There are a number of disjointed systems that don’t match up and loads, and I mean loads of spreadsheets for which the information has to be collated from a number of different areas.   It’s bad enough trying to learn and memorise where everything comes from without a BYT shaking his head when I ask a question.  Okay, so yes we did it yesterday……..so what? Just give me the bloody answer already!!!   I hate it when I ask a question and the answer I get is ‘we went over this yesterday’!  Really? No shit!!!’   Every spreadsheet has a different name, they are all filed under different folders and ‘hello!’ I am not yet familiar with the systems you are working on!!!   geez……a real boost to my self-confidence.   And the one thing that really disturbed me in a great way was the comments: ‘your’e doing really well’, that is given like a pat on the head to a dog that has performed well!  Wow!!! no kidding!

Something that I have really battled with is unlearning the way I deal with things…..when working as a carer you are required to ‘ask’ before you do anything. ‘Is this ok for you?. Would you like me to do that. How would you like this done?’  So what’s happening now is that I keep asking questions instead of just ‘doing’.   Besides that it makes me a tad nervous when people say I should just do something the way I would do it and then when I do…..then it’s ‘well actually that’s not he way we would have do it!!!’  Well then….tell me how you would do it and don’t tell me to use my own initiative.  So I am trying to untangle the old way of doing things and retrain my brain to do instead of ask! Eish.

So am I enjoying the job so far?  The honest answer is not really.  I guess once I know what I am doing and can set up some systems, things may improve.  I am however loving learning all the new stuff, I also get to do some social media and that has been very successful so far, and I did my first blog the other day that was well received.  I am enjoying the interaction with customers on the phone and learning about the product has been brilliant.  I am hopeful that as time passes and I get to grips with all the stuff I have to learn about it will improve and I can begin to relax and enjoy the job.

So there thats my gripe out the way.  Some days I felt like I was walking through pea-soup. And on others I rejoiced in the fact that I could get out first thing in the morning.  On the bright side….I am loving the walk to work in the mornings and the hustle and bustle of the city.  This is such a beautiful area, lots of leafy green trees, fabulous regency houses and wide streets. I am currently living in Bayswater (although not in a place as posh as it sounds)!

some of the houses in the area

Oh and I discovered a fish and chip shop near to work that serves the most delicious chips ever! 🙂

Now it’s 2 weeks on, and although I am still wondering why on earth I accepted such a low salary, (besides the fact that this has put me into a real financial bind), I am fed up with myself for not placing more value on my skills and knowledge.  However, on the plus side I am enjoying the freedom of being able to ‘leave’ my place of work and ‘go home’.

Ah yes! Home?!! where is that?  Well, here’s the thing…….I don’t have a home!  Hahaha. No kidding.  When I quit my job I gave up the accommodation that went with it, as well as the 3 meals a day, 3 well-balanced meals I might add!!! and  I have stayed at 6 different places since the 6th August.  ( I did a short stint of cat-sitting for a few days too).    On the plus side…..I have lost well over 4kgs since 6th August when I left my carer job behind.  If you could see the food I have been eating lately (mostly fruit and fibre cereal) and while I was staying at my friends flat I lived on tinned tomato soup and porrige (not together of course)……along with the lack of sleep, I am amazed I am still standing.  But at least I am able to buy food     I look at homeless people now with a completely different perspective.

yes, indeed! Today has been a wonderful day. I woke real early again but with a very stiff neck.  My body aching and sore I guess the time spent lugging my bag around town finally caught up with me. I also have a very stiff neck…..must be the pillows I am sleeping on.

I am really getting into this; not working on weekends. And what a marvel it is.  This morning I had the time to write a poem to welcome my little niece into the world.  I was then able to meet up with my daughter for starbucks in Richmond without having to ask permission for time off!  I was able to take a leisurely walk back home along the Thames Path and not worry about getting back late.

a walk along the Thames

Yesterday afternoon I spoke to my sister and she described it perfectly; it’s like a blanket over your head….and that is exactly how my previous job was……like a blanket over my head, weighing me down.  This feeling of not having limits on my time is really strange.  I have had a very productive afternoon, a time when I could start working on some of my internet plans and I did’nt have to watch the clock!   I could speak freely to my brother this morning, no worry about disturbing anyone!

and this is the fella I am spending my weekend with

how sweet is that face 🙂

The funny thing is I keep forgetting that I have a new job to go to on Monday. 🙂 so just to be sure I’ve set my alarm!

freedom!!!!

Whoo hooooo!!!! I got the job!!!! yes yes yes. With much delight this morning I accepted the position from yesterday’s interview. Mucho magic.  I love the sound of the position and was really hoping to get it. What this means is that a) I can ease myself back into the office environment b) I get my evenings and weekends back  c) I can learn new systems – in this case SAGE and Mac d) I can freelance now at whatever I want  e) I am no longer on duty 22/7 f) I no longer have to put up with shitty family members or friends who treat you like a lower class whatnot g) and as far as banks and such like are concerned, I now have a ‘real’ job.  And bonus….I don’t have to go for any more interviews! Wheeee!!!

The funny thing is that the position of ‘Carer’ doesn’t hold much weight in this country and it’s not really viewed as a viable job.  I can see their point, working as a self-employed carer is a variable career, any number of things can happen; like you have to sit around and wait for days on end to get the next assignment, you have assignments that you have sat around for a week waiting for get  cancelled at the last minute, you have to be on tenterhooks 99% of the time coz if you by so much as a word upset your client in any way….your’e shown the door without so much as a by your leave.  So to get back into the office environment is brilliant.

However, there is a price for my freedom……£14,600pa worth of price. Yes! To my dismay they offered me £3000pa less than what I would have expected considering my experience, but have said after the 3 months probation they will increase it to the expected level (not £14,600 worth sadly (I wish)…that amount now includes living expenses such as rent, food and transport etc).  What this means is that for the next 3 months+ I am gonna stress out big time!
But!!!! and this is where it gets good…..I will not be ’employed’ but will work on a ‘contractual’ basis and instead of being an employee….I will be freelance and still retain my self-employed status.  This is very good on all fronts.  It means that I can now do whatever other work I want in the evenings and weekends to generate the discrepancy in my budget! 🙂 yay. So this means I can plan tours for 3 Days in London, I can freelance at other companies in the evenings or weekends, I can take on baby-sitting work, or cleaning (I am a damn good housekeeper) heehee, I can FINALLY get back to the Internet Marketing membership I paid for a year ago and not yet been able to maximise.  Actually read ‘not do at all’.  So the world is my oyster as they say and I will be a free agent able to work unencumbered by 22/7, and in this way I will be able to generate the short-fall in my budget!
Whew! As they say in the classics!

On the family front….I am delighted to say that I am now an aunty again.  My niece finally decided to get herself born and arrived at 01.25 this morning, weighing in at 3.37kgs and 6minutes before I sent an email to my brother and sister-in-law to wish them all the best for the impending arrival.. hee hee she was already here! So welcome to the world Aletta, you are a much anticipated and very welcome member of ‘da family’!
So now I have to plan a trip to Hungary (finally) to go visit and meet my new niece, and of course to also meet the two older children who were adopted at the beginning of the year! Awesome….3x an aunty in one year….not bad eh! It was very special talking to my brother this morning and we were both in tears!! I am so very happy for them. He reminded me that it was exactly 2 years ago to the week that they lost their first baby, which was terribly distressing.  But all is good now and they have their delightful daughter to love and enjoy.

I mentioned in my previous blog that I am cat-sitting in Twickenham this weekend for a friend and after my stress at not getting into the flat last night I was exhausted, (I had visions of sleeping on the step!) but hey guess what?….I was free to do whatever I wanted, so I got onto the internet and did some emailing, tweeting, and fb’ing wihtout any worry about having to get up the next day at a specific time……I could get up anytime I pleased.  Then finally to bed at about 1am and woke this morning…..free as a butterfly!  And hahahaha, at 07:35! can you believe it?  Now that I am free to wake up late……I wake up early! Hah!! typical! I spent most of the morning on the internet working for New Media Angels (I am the twitter angel) then met up with my daughter later in the morning and went to Sweetie Pies for tea and yummies to celebrate my new job! Then it was back to her place and work work work for 3.5 hours earning my freedom!

I can now advertise The Money Box in earnest (you can ‘like’ it if you like!) and of course the plan is to get my books up on Amazon and blurb as well as the intineraries onto kindle.

Hooray! I am free, and freedom is a sweet, sweet word! 🙂

times flies.....and if I don't get to bed soon....it will be 1am! 🙂

…..or something like that!  – Where has this year gone?  I can hardly believe that it’s September already!!! this year has truly flown the coop!  I remember when I was younger my Dad always used to say….”wait till you get older….time will fly” and so it is and has.   His opinion on this is that time is speeding up. Hmmmm, I’m not sure about that, but the days and weeks and months sure do go by fast.  I often wonder if this is to do with the fact that we are so busy these days.  We are always ‘doing’ something. The constant urge to communicate, learn more, work commitments, child commitments (like sport and activities) and then just the normal day to day activities that go towards keep up with life as it is today.
I remember when my Mother was still alive, she used to have hours where she just sat and realaxed, enjoyed life.  Had tea with her kids and grandchildren, read a book and meandered around her garden.  None of the hurry-scurry that seems to take up the hours of my day!
It often blindsides me how quickly life changes too! In the flash of an eye and everything changes.  As you know from previous blogs I recently quit my job.  Now that didn’t happen in the blink of an eye and I had been debating that for some months, but when it came to making the decision to quit….that did happen in the blink of an eye.  And the changes that came with that are phenomenal.  One of which is of course looking for a new source of income.  Fortunately I am lucky enough to have a number of options, but unlike the hours in the day….it takes longer to get something set up again.  I have fortunately had one care job that took care of the bank for a week or so….and I was meant to have another one starting today….BUT that caved in late yesterday afternoon and now the stress has started in earnest.  Major panic attack this morning when I awoke after what was a very restless night.
On the plus side I got to spend some time with my lovely daughter yesterday and last evening.  We went out for a delicious supper as I mentioned in my last blog and then we headed home.  She, like the genius that she is, set up a facebook page for THE MONEY BOX! Hooray. In no time at all she has the page up and away we went with the invitations.
I also subbed for her today at BNI Sherlock.  Which probably doesn’t mean anything to you, so let me enlighten you 🙂  BNI is a business networking group (they are worldwide) where you get to speak about your business, listen to others speak about theirs and then see if you have any referrals or congruency with someone they know or even perhaps themselves.  Fortunately due to the Platform and Presentation Skills Training course I did a few years ago with Christopher Howard I have learned how to stand up in front of a room full of people and not turn to a block of deepfreeze! 🙂
Now when I stood up to do her 60seconds for NEW MEDIA ANGELS I was fine, but when it came time to do mine…..urgh, I got all red in the face and flustered.  So good and bad…hahahaha! as Dr Demartini would say….balance in all things. Just not sure he meant this specifically. But I managed and the floor didn’t actually swallow me whole!  In the event I have a 1-1 set up with one of the members for next week 🙂   Hopefully this will be a taste of things to come and I can finally convert back to doing what I love…..Credit Control. I started The Money Box up in 2008, but eventually went back to the caring so now I have a good start for getting it up and running again as I have already worked for a few people and have referrals in that area.
So this afternoon I passed another milestone! I survived the interview! Hooray! 🙂 actually it was a great interview and I left feeling very positive.  They asked some brilliant and very clever questions and really grilled me in all areas.  Initially had 2 people doing the interview and then one of the Directors popped in and we chatted as well.  In all it was a very positive experience and at least the ice is broken in that respect. The last time I had an interview for a job was in Oct 2009 and that was quite an intense process.  They also left me twiddling my thumbs for a months before finally making a decision and at the time I was pipped to the post by a chap 20 years younger than me! Ah well. Their loss hey! 🙂
So here I am, now back in Twickenham. Cat sitting for the weekend. My daughter lives 20 minutes away and I am just about to go to bed.
One thing that did strike me as I was in transit from the west to the north is how it is that if I get this job – once again I will be commuting.  No more walking from my bedroom to the kitchen as my morning commute.  It is going to be very weird having to catch public transport again every day and I mused at the volume of people passing through the station this evening. Like a mass of lemmings flowing along.  So that will be a bit of a challenge.
On the home front, as I say, I am cat sitting in Twickenham for a friend of mine, very much a last minute arrangement and once again I had to lug my very heavy suitcase across from far north to far south west/ish with me.  The tube journey takes and hour and a half….so you get the idea of distance.  I tell you, if I do get this job that is going to be one of the biggest perks…..being based in one place and not having to drag this exceptionally heavy suitcase around.  Mind you on the plus side, as I mentioned before, I have reached the age now where more and more often people are offering to help.  And I now gratefully accept. No more of the “no it’s fine, I can manage bullsh*t”….if someone offers to carry it up or down the stairs I say “Yes! Please and thank you so much”.  Actually it was quite funny coz as I was passing through the barrier at East Finchley I asked the guy on duty if he had a magic wand. He said no, so I said what a pity coz then he could magic my bag up the stairs.  Heehee. So he took the hint and carried the bag up for me! Age and charm do have benefits. 🙂
even the bus drivers are getting in on the act (well some of them anyway).  Most of the newer buses in the UK have a hydraulic system that lowers the platform for wheelchair access. So now when they see me standing at the busstop with my massive suitcase looking forlorn…..they lower the platform! Yay!!! thank you!
And on that note I am going to end off with a happy sigh!  I have passed a major hurdle in my job hunt; been for an interview.  I loath interviews, but actually this one I quite enjoyed. Hope it bodes well for my prospects!
Tah dah. Chat again soon.

Blimey! What a week it’s been.   As I write I am sitting at Sweetie Pies in Twickenham.

I only had one cupcake 🙂

Having just enjoyed a pot of tea and a yummy chocolate cupcake I thought I would kill time while waiting for CJ to finish work by writing my next blog.  As mentioned before I am staying at a friends flat while she is away in South Africa, which is great, except she has a flat-mate who is, if not from hell, then certainly close enough to!!! geez, it never ceases to amaze me that people feel they can be rude with no reason.  Ok, so it is her flat but seriously is that a reason to be so rude and speak to me like I crawled out the trash?  I have been hard-pressed to keep my mouth shut and not retaliate coz I know there is no point in that and achieves nothing. It would be no fun if I did retaliate and she decided to kick me out….so needs must and I keep my mouth shut.  I leave tomorrow anyhow so thankfully I won’t be seeing her again.  She also works during the day so peace reigns supreme till 7pm…at which stage I make myself scarce and head to the bedroom.

On the job front I have had some small measure of success and applied for a position that looks great and something I could really get my teeth into!  I submitted my CV yesterday and today they called me to come in for an interview asap! Hooray. I would love to get this job as it plays to all my strengths and involves a certain amount of Social Media expertise as well…. which is brilliant!  The salary is ok, and it will also mean that I have my weekends free to persue my own interests and then I can start planning my itineraries and start advertising them.  I do have to know my schedule and with the care work, it is just not possible to plan anything in advance coz I never know where I am gonna be.  Have to keep my time free and clear in case a job comes in.

On that front, I leave tomorrow for Kent.  I am quite excited about this job as the lady sounds really nice and of course there is the village to explore. 🙂  I have been doing some research and it seems that the area has some tenuous links to the Pilgrims Way and that is definitely worth exploring.  As well as which there are some woods nearby that definitely need to be explored.
I have been playing catchup on my twitter accounts and it’s really cool to be back online.  I’m not sure if I mentioned previously, but I joined a photography page on facebook and they have a different theme everday. This has been great fun and a real challenge to see if I can find a photo that matches the relevant theme.  This has also given me loads of ideas for future photos.  Through the page I have also discovered two websites where I can upload my photos for sale.  I am of course really not sure if they will be of the right quality, but hey, if you don’t try……you don’t succeed.

I have also registered on a really lovely site called ‘women like us’ that caters for women who want to get back into the work environment.  Not that I have been without work, but I really do want to get back into the office environment asap.

Okay, so just had a phone call…bad news on tomorrow’s job. The lady just called to say she has to cancel the job as she is not going home for a while.   Urgh!!!! this is exactly why I simply cannot do this anymore.  I have to get a settled job.  This is now very inconvenient and that means I dont get a salary for the next 10 days! They just have no idea.  Urgh, it also means that I don’t get to explore the village! 😦 ah well. I will have to go there with my campervan when I get the contract from the BBC to do a programme on the UK villages of the Domesday Book! 🙂 🙂 and that of course is a message to the universe that is taking it’s own sweet time on this.
Anyhow that is my stressed gripe out the way……moving on.

I guess now I can carry on with my internet stuff and also get to go and sort out my storage stuff in preparation for moving next week.  I dicovered that it’s way cheaper to store stuff out of London than in. No suprise really but I just never thought to check that out. Needs must hey!
We are still awaiting my niece’s arrival and I keep checking my brother’s profile to see if there is any announcement…but nothing so far. Eeee….can’t wait to meet the new baba.

While I was waiting for CJ to finish work I took a stroll down to the river…..whoa!!! high tide, and I mean HIGH tide. The river was way up the road and cars were again under water.  The folks on Eel Pie Island were waiting patiently for the water to receed so they could get off the bridge.  The swans were swimming along the promenade and the ducks took a stroll along the sidewalk through the water.   It looks so awesome.  I found out the other day that the river level rises up to 7 feet twice a day.  The Thames is of course a tidal river so this is a phenomenon that can be seen every day.  Some days it rises so high that motorists who have parked in the bays along the river front sometimes have their cars covered in water up to and over the chassis. Eeewww!!!

tides in....you can see the people on the bridge waiting to get off and the car on the right where the water is receeding

So after work my daughter took me for dinner at her favourite restaurant in Twickenham; Pincho. Love their food. We had aubergine bake, hallumi, houmous, pattas bravas. Hmmm. Yummy.  Then a brisk walk back to her place, and here I am. Still stressing big time about the sudden job cancellation and the lack of income that goes with that….but I have high hopes for the job interview tomorrow.  I would really love to get this position….the job description sounds fab! 🙂 Hold thumbs.

hmmm, and the eternal question is: where does it go?  I have been back in London for just on 10 days and the days have whizzed by. I have moved on to North London and am staying at my friends place whilst she is in South Africa….great timing really. The days in Twickenham were great fun and CJ and I had some really special times together, either watching TV, working, chatting, strolling along the riverbank, eating out, munching our way through cupcakes, taking photos and having lonnnngggg conversations about the meaning of life.

view of the Thames at Richmond

the conclusion I have recently come to is that we really have to enjoy the moment. enjoy and appreciate where we are as much as is possible.  We are urged time and again to reach for goals and although that is good, so much of life is missed out because we are focussing on the future instead of the now.  I really slowed down the few days I had with my daughter and instead of stressing about work or money or getting blogs up or posting on twitter, I just enjoyed whatever time we had together.  I don’t get to see that much of her even when I am in London so those few days were really precious.  I even managed to surprise her on Sunday night with a mini-birthday party, which was great fun and she didn’t suspect a thing despite me never being able to keep a secret.

a surprise birthday party

we didn’t get to do the tour after all.  We woke late and I felt really ill (turns out I had food poisoning from the meal the night before), so we decided to just relax and chat and spend the day together, and it turned out just super.

The last few days have been spent updating records and sorting my photo albums.  I have joined a group on facebook that has a different theme every day and it has been a fun challenge to see if any of my photos are suitable.  Some of them have been well liked which is brilliant.  I really do love taking photos and think I will drive everyone nuts when I have a more sophisticated camera.  I already have over 22,000 photos!!! Hysterical.  Of course not all of them are good enough for publication, but most of them remind me of places I have been and things I have seen, and that is awesome.

a storm's brewing

we had a brilliant thunder storm yesterday with the accompanying lightening and a massive downpour which was pretty awesome.  My sweet sister-in-law is in labour and within the next day or so I will be an aunty again!!! yay! It’s a little girl and I am really looking forward to welcoming her.  They recently adopted two kiddies; a boy of 7 and a girl of 6 years old, so with the new baby on the way they are going to have their hands full.   They live in Hungary so sadly I don’t get to see them much, but I am hoping to make a trip there sometime later this year.

On the job front I have found absolutely nothing that excites me!!!! urgh. I loath doing job searches and this is no different.  So I am using the care work as a fall back till I find something that will be of interest.  Initially I was really annoyed with myself for using this as a fall back, but I have now made my peace with it. Instead of resenting this I have instead resolved to enjoy the fact that I can now visit some more villages or towns of the UK and add to my now very long list which is approaching 100!!! Way cool.   I am thinking of making a book about the villages as this will fit in with my dream of travelling around the UK in my campervan and blogging about the places I go (as mentioned in an earlier blog).

As I write I am watching the news of hurricane Irene in America and it looks frightening.  I can’t even begin to imagine such big storms.  We had awesome storms in South Africa but nothing like whats going on there.

So back to the web for more job searches.  How awesome it would be if I could just magic up a number of clients who need my credit control services and I could do what I really enjoy…..sorting, organising and fixing. 🙂

back in London

(Ok, so this blog is a week overdue. I wrote it on 18th!!) I am back….haven’t absconded to India just yet 🙂

I am back in London after a lovely week in Halstead/Kent with a really lovely lady.  One of the nicest placements I have had in all the years I have worked as a Carer.  However, as I mentioned earlier, spending time with her has really given me a serious kick on my metaphorical butt!!!! I must, and that is a MUST get to travel again.  There are so many places she wanted to see and visit but coz of this debilitating disease (motor neuron disease) she is, at the same age as me, confined to a wheelchair.  She does go out of course but only to places that are close to home.  I can’t imagine how hard it must be to have been an active and busy person to suddenly be diagnosed with a debilitating disease.  I know people do cope and adjust, but I am quite healthly and able and I really do want to see so many places and of course as you probably already know….I want to travel round the UK and hopefully Europe with my campervan 🙂

my daughter sent this to me...it's now my desktop pic!! love it, makes me smile eveytime I log on

I had a lovely week and got to visit a delightful little village; Chipstead.  So adorable with the cutest little houses and cottages.  A bubbling stream winds through the village and in front of some of the houses.

Victorian cottages in Chipstead

I was thrilled to find a wee bridge that crossed the stream which meandered past a ‘Mill House’….these villages are just heavenly.  I also found some terrific cottages, more modern than the one dated 1694!!!

built 1694

that I want to investigate  (when!!!!! I have internet access again).   I got my dongle on Tuesday, only to discover that they had sent me the wrong one.  I have a contract and they sent me a pay as you go!!! Seriously I am so fed up with them now that I could not even phone them when I discovered their mistake……I was unsure I could hold my temper.  So I have packed it away and will tackle this issue tomorrow or Saturday.  So annoying.  Ah well.  Perhaps the Universe is trying to teach me some patience 🙂 – as of today 26.08 I have been back online for 6 days and playing catch up.

Right now (18:44) is am sitting at Costa, where it’s warm and cosy, I have just finished some spreadsheet work for my friend (I do love spreadsheets) and am now writing this blog in preparation for when I get online!  When I arrived back in London this afternoon the rain came down in buckets and I got soaked!!! my trainers are wet and cold and it feels ucky!! I still have a few hours before I get home and be able to change.   When I arrived I have a delicious hot choclate with trimmings (cream & marshmallows) and an almond croissant…..yummy.  I think I deserved that after getting soaked and after my long journey.  I am meeting up with a friend for dinner later on which will be fun.

So home for the next few days is after all going to be with my daughter.   Her housemate had a bit of a hissy fit last week and threatened all sorts of dire things and said she is not at all happy with another person staying at the house…..never mind that she has had people staying over a number of times, once for a month!!! geez…how to feel welcome hey.  This homeless business is not fun!

Tomorrow I am going to take her on a tour of the ‘old’ City of London, from the Tower of London to St Paul’s cathedral where I am going to take her right up to the Golden Gallery, then from there we will visit The Old Bailey, and St Bride’s Church, then past the Olde Cheshire Cheese to Samuel Johnson’s house, back to Fleet Street and thence to The Royal Courts of Justice on Strand.  We will meander the streets and visit ancient places and commune with ghosts along the way!!! this is the 3rd and final itinerary of the 3 Days in London itineraries and hopefully once we have done this one I can finally get them into a decent format and uploaded online.

The weekend promises to be quiet, my daughter is off to Rochester with a friend, so I plan to knuckle down and get some blogs online. Haven’t been able to do any for weeks now.  My poor hootsuite account needs attention too….that has also suffered since my internet access has been so disrupted. Eish!!!

On the work front…..of course I have not been able to get onto google…which has been a real nuisance, but hopefully this weekend I can.  I do have another short placement shortly but I hope the agency can find me another before too long.  Other than that I shall continue to look.

keeping my nerve

So this morning I awoke to a full-blown panic attack!!! well actually, since I hardly slept last night I guess I didn’t wake to the panic attack, I just simply had one! Urgh! It’s the most horrible feeling. And coz I am working, and in someone else’s house I can’t even have a good old scream to release the tension. So squish the feelings and hold them at bay!

Yesterday was a very long day.  Sometimes I not sure which is worse…..working from 8am-11pm and being stuck indoors all day with not much to do and earning a wage, or being outdoors walking and exploring at my own will and not earning a wage!  Which is best? 🙂 hmmm. I think I should just abscond to India and become one of those mad english women who shuffle along barefoot, dressed in long white robes, their hair askew, unwashed, a begging bowl in hand and muttering all the way!!!  or perhaps I can install myself in a monastry high in the hills and go meditate and levitate!

On the plus side, the lady I am caring for at the moment gave me a set of books on London, she was going to discard. 4 small little paperbacks that tell the story of 4 different era’s in London’s history!  Whoohoo!! so fascinating. There should have been 8 books, but she is not sure where the others are. But hey, I am more than happy with the 4, already found some things I want to follow up on when I get back to London.  She is lovely, and is the type of person that I love about this kind of work.  Gentle and sweet, not condescending and hoity-toity.  It has been a pleasure to be here and if it was not for the fact that I know this is a rarity, I would quite happily do more of this.

Talking of which…..on the job front, I chucked in some random tags words into google yesterday and it spat out some really cool looking stuff. Will have to be a little more targeted and I may just find something right up my alley.  Of course I have to remind myself that what I really want to be doing will pull me in two directions!  My love is London; to walk around exploring, taking photos, blogging about it and (somehow) getting paid to do so. My desire is to drive around the UK in a campervan, visiting little villages and out of the way beauty spots, exploring, taking photos, blogging about it and (somehow) getting paid to do so! Hahahaha. A metaphorical fork in the road of my destiny!  Which way do you think I should go?

During my break today I headed off to visit the village church. There has been a church in halstead for over 1,000 years and unusually for one of these little villages, this church its situated right on the outskirts.  On my way there I visited the ancient site of a tiny medieval church built on Saxon foundations, now tumbled down and overgrown with ivy and weeds, the remaining headstones, some of which date back to the late 1700’s line the wall which is about 2 feet thick.  The site is English heritage and considered to be of significant interest….I’d agree.  It’s set back in a forested area, quiet and peaceful as most of these places are – the only sounds; birdsong and the crunch of breaking wood underfoot.

the medieval church

From there I continued my meandering and discovered the ‘New’ Church. Built in the late 1870’s, in the style of the 13th century, a delightful little building with a bell tower much too tall for it’s size.  I was in luck……a service was just finishing as I arrived so I waited patiently in the churchyard, studying the headstones and sitting quietly under a shady tree till they left the building.  I then slipped in quietly for a look round.  Beautiful.  These country churches are something to see. Filled to the brim with memorials and mementoes of parishioners gone by, amazing stained glass windows of intricate glasswork shaped into pictures, some too beautiful to imagine.  In some instances the history goes back hundreds of years and many are built on the remains of ancient medieval, Saxon or Tudor sites.

the 'new' church

It’s been a beautiful day and I am delighted to have discovered another marvellous little village.

I have been very fortunate to have travelled quite extensively around the UK and visited many of her fair counties.   Most people would say that Kent is the most beautiful, and it known as The Garden County’.  I have to agree that it is exceptionally beautiful.  However, I would have to say that I am quite unable to say which is exactly ‘the most beautiful’ when a visit to Suffolk enchants and delights, a visit to Somerset leaves you gasping at the joy of the fields and villages, Devon leaves you breathless with her fabulous cliffs and seascapes and Cornwall is a delight of hidden coves, beaches, and quaint fishermen’s hamlets.  A trip to Scotland will leave your mouth agape at the splendour: craggy towering mountains, deep blue bottomless lakes that stretch as far as the eye can see, purple heather that rolls over windswept hills, thundering waterfalls that rush downstream, and weather that thrills you to the core with its violence and thunder.  Wales is a magical mix of green and blue, bubbling streams, ancient streets in tiny hamlets.  So in all I have to say that pretty much ALL of the UK is fabulous.

Presently I am residing in a little village in Kent.  I arrived at a 2 platform station set amongst the wild green growth of summer in full bloom, and marvelled that the train didn’t just whizz by and miss the station if the driver blinked his eyes.  Tiny little place with the quirky name of Knockholt!  The area is gorgeous, winding roads that twist and turn between the towering hedgerows I mentioned before, with just a glimpse of fields behind at the gaps and gates.  The villages perch precariously close to the roads, with just a small patch of garden between the house and tarmac.  But what gardens they are!  A glorious abundance of delicate english flowers, thorny blackberry bushes, now just starting to bear fruit that ripens into plump black berries that tease the tastebuds.

picturesque houses

As with most villages in the counties, old houses many of which date back to the 1800’s and earlier line the main road.  You usually find a church that has a history going back to the middle ages and farther; into the mists of time.  Farmers fields abound, cows at the gate testimony to the time.  A post office and a viallge store the sum total of commercialism and now and then a B&B or a little gift shop that doubles as a tearoom….where more often than not you can partake of a delicious, freshly baked scone with home-made jams and cream so think you can almost cut it with a knife.

Yesterday was fresh and lovely, so during my break I went walkabout.  The roads are narrow and there is precious little space for pedestrians but coz it’s so quiet, you can hear cars coming well before they reach you.  There is always a gap in the hedge for safety. 🙂  As mentioned above, the houses that line the main road are quaint and tiny, with quirky names and gorgeous gardens, but as you walk farther away down side roads the properties and houses are of a size that beggar belief.  Massive green lawns that must surely need an army of gardeners to keep under control, and houses that would fit the rest of the village comfortably within.  Seriously they are huge!!! one has to wonder why people need such massive houses to live in!  I passed a secretive, ancient woodland, trees twisted in grotesque shapes, creeper that clings and there is nothing that can quite match that musty smell.  I was on the search for the church, but apparently didn’t walk far enough, so that will have to wait for another day. (some more photos)

There are two pubs; The Cock Inn from 1718 (I know!!!) and The Rose & Crown.  One of the houses is just gorgeous with white walls and pale yellow shutters.  I stopped at a gap in the hedgerow and just enjoyed the fields tucked away behind it, dotted with wild flowers and birds; magpies hopping about as they do.  They are such strange birds they way they walk about like a parody of an undertaker.  Evidently the village is growing if you count the houses that have been built along the winding roads, and a drive through the village belies the extent to which it has spread.  I love to poke and peer and sometimes venture into places I probably shouldn’t be….but in doing so I find all sorts of interesting things…..like a huge field dotted with children’s play equipment, swings, a slide, a trampoline, football posts and a jungle-gym!. Who would have thought!

cutesy inns

This is definitely one of the perks of the work I do, travelling to tiny little villages in the depths of the countryside.
However, my heart is always in London and I do miss my frequent walkabouts.  I was riding on the bus from Lancaster Gate to Turham Green the other day and realised that despite my ‘frequent’ walkabouts, I have so much still to explore!  I have barely touched kensington, Chelsea and those areas of London.  So now that I am out ‘that way’, so to speak, I will be sure to hop on the bus into town for more excursions! 🙂 can’t wait!

On the job front….been doing lots of research into office type jobs, but it’s a no go as far as I can see. Mostly need experience again on programmes I haven’t worked on before! As mentioned!  I have started to broaden my horizons and searching for jobs with more adventurous and interesting features.  Hmmmm, some really cool jobs out there.  I saw a good one for a P.A. In Richmond, but they require First Aid experience, so have saved it for further perusal.  Only 30 hours a week and a fairly good rate per hour. Might be a possibility.  I think I would actually like to get something in travel or within the travel industry….preferrably an outdoors type of job! Can’t bear the thought of being tied up for 9 hours a day indoors.  So am looking, looking.  I am writing up a list of things I enjoy most and working on that. Will be interesting to see what comes of all my tag words in google. Wonder what it will spit out.  Of course my ideal job would be as a companion to someone on a cruise ship….now that I could enjoy! 🙂

I notice lately that I am unable to ‘reply’ to comments or post tags relevant to a blog post. does anyone know what the problem could be?

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