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Archive for the ‘Personal Development’ Category

I was going to blog something else this evening, but then I came across this article and it fit in so well with what I posted this morning that I decided to share this with you instead.

Forget New Year’s Resolutions – They Don’t Work

Goal setting expert explains real success lies in life plans, not in making resolutions.

“You can forget about making New Year’s Resolutions if you’re hoping for a successful outcome. Most aren’t worth the paper they’re written on,” says Vic Johnson, a leading goal setting and motivation expert.

Most New Year’s Resolutions have gone by the wayside before January is over and most won’t even be remembered six months later. And the reason is pretty simple. Most are made in response to something negative; a habit or situation that the person wants to change or end. And therein lies the problem – it’s hard to develop momentum from a negative response. It is always easier to move toward something than away from something.

Consider one of the most adopted goals — weight loss. No one can get excited about losing weight – it requires deprivation. It’s a negative response to concerns about appearance, health, etc. The results of weight loss New Year’s Resolutions demonstrate their weakness. A survey sponsored by Gardenburger found that more than three-fourths of all women between the ages of 25 and 54 make diet and weight-loss plans each year. Nearly nine of 10 respondents reported only occasional or no success, while almost half lost little or actually gained weight instead.

“The people who succeed at losing weight and maintaining the loss have usually been motivated by a dream much bigger and more positive than just losing weight,” explains Johnson. “They see themselves living a healthy lifestyle. They begin to act and think like people who are in good physical shape. There’s more of a radical change in a person’s thinking and actions than you see with most resolutions. It wouldn’t be possible to effect and sustain such a radical change unless the person is motivated by a big dream that is positive in nature.”

Another popular aim is to quit smoking. Johnson himself was a three-pack-a-day smoker until he celebrated a smoke-free New Year’s sixteen years ago. “For over twenty years I had tried to quit many times using every tool and technique I’d hear about. But as long as I was trying to quit, I couldn’t break the grip. Instead, I developed a dream to become a non-smoker. I fell in love with the idea of breathing clean air instead of smoky air, of my body and clothes smelling nice instead of smoky. I thought about how wonderful it would be to taste food again. I decided to start acting and thinking like a non-smoker, and when the thinking took hold I simply quit smoking. In all the years since, I’ve never wanted another cigarette, never even thought about wanting one.”

According to Johnson, the best goal to set is one that calls for the individual to create a plan for their life based on a set of personal dreams. “Most people are in a free-fall through life, careening from one crisis to the next. If you were going to build a new house and you had this idea for a fabulous master bedroom suite, you wouldn’t rush out and start building the master bedroom. You’d have a complete plan before you started. When you approach resolutions and goals in the same manner, you end up with a much better chance of achieving success.”

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Why have a Plan?

Quote: “Failures don’t plan to fail; they fail to plan.” Harvey MacKay. This has been quoted by many other well known names in different formats, but the meaning remains the same!

When someone starts a business they usually set up a Business Plan before they start!  Well most people do anyway 🙂

Of course it makes sense to do this since they have to present this to the Bank to get funding, or to a prospective Business Partner.

Why not then a Life Plan for our lives?

Statistics have shown that very few people sit down and prepare a plan for their lives.

Why is this do you think?

Perhaps your parents never did, perhaps they never really thought about it and subsequently you did not learn the skill.

A plan, a.k.a. setting goals, is a roadmap for where we want to go and what we want to do in life.

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Abraham Lincoln

We make plans for holidays, mostly, (of course it is great fun to take a spontaneous holiday), but on the whole we do the research: where we want to go, what we want to see, where we want to stay, how much money we are going to take to make it a great holiday, how we are going to get there, and we set a date.

Planning our lives should contain the same components.   Why then do so few people sit down and make a plan for their lives?

Is it an innate sceptism?   Are we fearful of setting parameters for our lives; maybe missing out on something if it is not included in the plan?

I have all my life rebelled against setting goals i.e. making a plan, preferring instead to ‘go with the flow’.   Well here I am at 54years, and with 4 months to go till my 55th, I am where the flow has taken me!   And, it is not entirely to my satisfaction.  But……..

As Anthony Robbins would say: “The past does not equal the future.”

I have been swept along, and carried by the waves of life, going with the flow and now I have washed up on the beach of ‘nowhere’.

If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up some place else. Yogi Berra

In the last few months after a long journey of Personal Development I am finally at the stage where I get it!!   I have to have a plan.   To that end, I have in the last few weeks found myself far more focussed and this is after just setting a few plans down on paper, and I am making good progress :).

“The Universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” Eden Phillpots

Now, with an eye on the future, I have set a day aside to draw up a plan for the next year, the next 2 years and so on.   On the first of January 2010, I will be sitting down with my startupprincess guide and when I have completed that, I intend writing up a plan, setting some goals of what I want to achieve and where I am going.  This will be my roadmap, my guide for where I want to go and what I want to achieve for the next year and beyond.

The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them.   Even the most tedious chore will become endurable, as you parade through each day, convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to achieving your dreams.  Og Mandino 1923-1996 Author

Awesome!

What are your plans for 2010 and for the future?   Once you have your plan; your roadmap for 2010 here is a tip:

Look at your plan and see how it has been written.   Have you used any ‘away-from’ goals?  E.g. I want to lose weight. Or I want to give up ‘whatever’.

Look at your plan/goals and check if they can be written in a more positive way.  What about including: enthusiastic, fun, strong, and loving way.

Plans tend to happen more rapidly when we work ‘on’ them and ‘in’ them at the same time.   What this means is that they need developing and growing, just as surely as you grow and develop.   Goals and plans should never be static, they should be an active, growing thing, alive and constantly developing.   I never got that, till recently 🙂

Goals should be in clear language, inspiring and exciting and include having fun.  E.g. If you want to achieve a certain weight that requires increasing your level of activity, find something that you really enjoy and participate in that.  For instance, I love walking and have now made it a goal of mine to walk every day for at least 30 minutes, ergo; I have a plan: I get fit, I enjoy the action and in time I will achieve my target and at the same time I get to experience more of the world around me.

If something unexpected happens, as things do, look at how it can be accommodated in your plan, and if you have to take a slight detour, it will be easier to deal with because you have a plan.   You will be able to get back on track as lot sooner if you have a roadmap!

Good luck for 2010, enjoy your planning!

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As a subscriber to The Small Business Angel newsletters and blogposts, I found this one to be particularly interesting.   Leadership:

by: Michele Milligan, Source Unknown

The following was written by a high school student writing an essay for her final exam:

“A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent. In the end, leaders are much like eagles… they don’t flock, you find them one at a time.” Hard work, profound dedication, and encouragement toward others are what entitle an individual to be a leader.

A strong work ethic is one important quality of an adroit leader. As the saying goes: “There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy.” Hard work and intense dedication can only make you better, both mentally and skillfully. If others see one person working as hard as they can 100% of the time, they will work harder for that one person. No matter how unmotivated people are, if just one person steps up and takes the lead, everybody else will follow. Leaders motivate others.

Many people find themselves working harder when they know that they get something out of it. Just by hearing a few pushing words that motivate and encourage, people force themselves to work harder. Leaders are usually the ones who ignore their own accomplishments to commend others for theirs. The leader keeps everybody’s head up at all times, as they work harder and harder, and more diligently toward their goals. The number one thing that a leader tries to avoid is making people feel guilty or to look down on them because leaders bring others higher in the world, usually with the result being success. As a noble person once said, “There are high spots in all of our lives, and most of them come through encouragement from someone else.”

Hard work from one person makes other work harder. Vehement dedication shows others the success that comes through it. Encouragement and support for others make others feel good about themselves and give them something else to work for. These are all very significant traits that a leader must possess. Don’t wait around for things to happen, make this world what you really want it to be, be a leader.

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Great article.

Giving Back to the World, by Jeremy Gislason

Are you grateful for everything you have?

Consider this, whether you have a million dollars in the bank or a hundred — if you have a roof over your head, food on your table and the comfort of friends and family, you’re rich.

Millions around the world live a bare bones existence and the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness takes a backseat to survival. If you have a roof over your head, you have food in your stomach, and you probably have at least one car, a bank account, and an abundance of creature comforts then by global standards, you’re rich.

Take a minute to look around you, wherever you are. It doesn’t matter if you’re reading this from the comfort of your couch, if you’re sitting at a table in a coffee shop, if you’re sitting in your car, on your treadmill or exercise bike, or if you’re enjoying the sunshine and reading this outside. Take a look around you and make a mental note of all you have. We’re not just talking about the material items either. Friends, family, mentors, and pets are all blessings.

What about you? You have a wealth of strengths, skills, knowledge, and experience too.

What Are You Doing With All Of Your Wealth?

Gratitude has the power to bring more abundance into our lives. We know this to be true and by simply expressing gratitude daily, in every moment of your life, you will understand it to be true too.

In addition to attracting more of what we’re grateful for, like wealth, love, and good health, gratitude also invites compassion into our lives. There are so many people in this world who suffer, who struggle and who do not have the wealth and abundance you have right now, today. It’s important to point out that this is an opportunity for you. Giving back benefits you in a number of ways.

When you give back, you feel better about yourself, your accomplishments and your wealth — you feel grateful.

When you give back, you learn about yourself and about others — this is a valuable opportunity.

When you give back, you make valuable connections with people who have the power to change your life in any number of amazing ways.

When you give back, you gain both spiritually and monetarily. It’s the Law of Attraction — which states you attract what you focus on. The Law of Attraction says: That which is like unto itself, is drawn.

When you possess gratitude, compassion, and generosity of mind, money and spirit, you attract those things back to you — all which make you richer, smarter, and surrounded by life, love and happiness.

Consider for just a moment the amazing contributions of:

Bill Gates and his foundation which partners with companies around the world to improve health and education.

Oprah Winfrey and her angel network which works on global and local networks to improve the lives of others.

And Kelly a small business owner who regularly motivates her social networking followers to generate thousands of dollars to families in need by donating her time and services in exchange for monetary donations from others.

You, no matter what level you’re at or what goals you are striving for, have the mind-blowing opportunity to improve the lives of others, including your own, in a number of ways.

1. You have the power to change the world, to better the world.

2. By embracing and acting on your power, you will gain abundance both materially and spiritually.

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”
-Winston Churchill

How Can You Give Back?

There are a number of ways you can give back to the world.

1.) Volunteer
Volunteer your time, skills and expertise. Volunteering offers a number of benefits:

-You Become Part of a Community
Volunteering has a meaningful, positive impact on your community. We depend on each other for personal and professional survival and when you’re part of a community, your personal and your professional life prosper. Volunteering helps, you build and sustain your community, which in turn will give back to you. It’s a win-win situation.

-Broaden Your Repertoire
People volunteer to contribute their skills and knowledge however it’s practically guaranteed that you’ll walk away with more knowledge and skills than you had beforehand. Volunteering is the perfect vehicle to discover something you are good at and develop a new skill.

-A Sense of Accomplishment
There’s little else in life that offers the same level of satisfaction like watching your hard earned efforts benefit someone in need.

Volunteering also offers you new interests, new experiences, new people, and authenticity and credibility in your industry.

2.) Donate funds
What’s your favorite cause or charity – something that’s important to you, your family or your friends? Perhaps it is the American Cancer Society, the Humane Society, or the Nature Conservancy. These organizations thrive on two things: Volunteers and Donations.

If you have causes, passions and charities which are near and dear to your heart, it’s important to do what you can to keep them in the black, financially solvent, and able to continue to provide their services.

3.) Use your business to tap into the needs of your prospects, community, customers, and associates
One of the truly wonderful aspects about being a business owner is the amazing power you have to give back. As a business owner, you have a rolodex jam-packed with contacts. This includes your lead list but it also includes your associates, vendors, partners, and always your friends, family and community members. You are a veritable Paul Revere — and one word from you has tremendous power, power to change the world and have a positive effect on the lives of others.

4.) Mentor
Mentoring is an exceptional way to share your knowledge and experience with others and give back to the world.

Mentoring is when you meet with someone one-on-one and help them learn and grow. A mentee can be a child or young adult struggling with choices, a professional who is interested in growing their career, or a person interested in starting a business similar to yours. A mentor/mentee relationship is essentially, however you define it.

The Next Step

If history and experience have taught us anything it’s that the more you give, the more you receive. When you take the time to give back to the world with the intention of improving the lives of others, the essential result is that you end up receiving so much more than you can possibly imagine. Give it a try. You’ll be amazed what happens in your life.

About the Author:

Jeremy Gislason is an entrepreneur, online business owner and marketer. He is also a philanthropist with over 12 years of offline and online business experience. Discover The Secret to Lasting Abundance in Mindmap to Riches Vol. 4 at http://www.MindmaptoRiches.com

Go here for even more free self improvement tips to make you healthier, wealthier and wiser.

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THE  BUZZARD: If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner. The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground witha run of 10 to 12 feet. Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.

THE BAT: The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air.Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.

THE BUMBLEBEE: A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be thereuntil it dies, unless it is taken out.  It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom…  It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.


PEOPLE:
In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumblebee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up!

That’s the answer, the escape route and the solution to any problem!  Just look up. Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up!

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in yourself!

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I had the good fortune of paying a fleeting visit to this amazing city today.   As I wandered through the streets, along the lanes and stepped through ancient college doors into courtyards filled with history, I marvelled at the exuberance of the ivy-clad architecture, the fine detail of gargoyles and kings, and the marvellous atmosphere of a scholarly city.   I even contemplated the possibility of applying to study English or History :).   I could not imagine anything more sublime than living in a University town and studying two of my favourite subjects.   I wonder what the lovely lithe young things would make of a ‘granny’ in their midst.   Oxford is a bicycle town and the students look quite relaxed as they dash about town, visiting friends, the library or the local pub.   As I meandered through the streets passing first the world famous  ‘Radcliffe Camera’, then under the Bridge of Sighs, into the Bodleian Library Quad and stepped inside beautiful churches ablaze with magnificent stained-glass windows, I enjoyed the sun on my face and the cosmopolitan mix of residents, tourists, a South American Pipe band, students and an eclectic mix of the strange and wonderful.

I stopped by the Carfax Tower to watch and listen to the Bell Chimes.

As always I am fascinated by the ancient graveyards and today they were dressed in their autumn finery, the leaves in colours of red, gold, yellow and orange littered the ancient paths and covered the final resting places of famous and forgotten.

The city is a fascinating mix of architecture, the college’s glow gold in the afternoon sun, the spires and domes lit up as the suns rays bathe them in a soft yellow light.   Most of the older buildings and colleges appear to have been built from the same lovely soft yellow stone that lends the city a golden colour.   Secret corners blackened with age and ravaged by the passing seasons withstand the tests of time.

I found a great site which offers a Virtual Tour of Oxford…fabulous!  Be sure to click on the various sites for a close up almost ‘right there’ feel of the city behind closed doors.

To tickle your fancy and give you a little bit of history I sourced a fantastic site on the internet (hooray for google).

a bit of a taster follows, for more info if you want to know more…visit the site

Oxford, The City of Dreaming Spires, is famous the world over for its University and place in history. For over 800 years, it has been a home to royalty and scholars, and since the 9th century an established town, although people are known to have lived in the area for thousands of years.

Nowadays, the city is a bustling cosmopolitan town. Still with its ancient University, but home also to a growing hi-tech community.

Oxford is home to a world famous university, and most of the colleges and university buildings are located in the centre of Oxford, within easy walking distance of each other.

Don’t miss the Bodleian Library,  and the nearby Radcliffe Camera, which is not open to the public, but is well worth a view from the outside.

Nearby, in Broad Street, is the Sheldonian Theatre, a venue for official university functions as well as a variety of concerts.

The University also owns the Ashmolean Museum on Beaumont Street (opposite The Playhouse), Britain’s oldest public museum.

The centre of Oxford is dominated by the University colleges, the most famous being Christ Church, Trinity, and Balliol (from a total of thirty six).

The origins of Oxford are not actually known with any certainty, being as they are, shrouded in the mists of time, but various ideas have been submitted (and disputed) regarding its genealogy.

Medieval historian, John Rous wrote in his 1490 work, ‘Historium Regum Angliae’, that Oxford was originally King Mempricius’ city, Caer-Memre, built on the River Thames somewhere between 1400 and 1500 BC.    However, other historians from Rous’ time were more inclined to support the popular legend that Oxford was in fact founded by the Trojans, after they landed on British soil in around 1100 BC.

Archaeological Evidence
Whilst there may be no definite historical basis for John Rous’ claims or for the Trojan story, there is some evidence of a settlement in Oxford possibly as early as 4000 BC.

Archaeological finds of Neolithic arrowheads and other remains from that period have been discovered in the city, and although no specific or more detailed evidence exists of an actual settlement at this time, it is known that a large Neolithic population once resided in Oxford.

In addition, a more permanent settlement between 2000 and 700 BC is suggested by evidence of Bronze Age barrows in the area.

Roman Times

Oxford in the time of the British Roman invasion appears to have been largely ignored by its conquerers. In fact, records show (or rather they don’t) that there was no town of  ‘Oxford’ in Roman times, although evidence of villas in the surrounding countryside does exist, together with a temple at nearby Woodeaton.

Instead, Brittania’s new leaders favoured Colchester, London (Londinium) and Chester, making Colchester their first capital of the new province, swiftly followed by London (once they realised the strategic importance of the River Thames).

Whilst Oxford has certainly not been recorded as being the centre of any importance during Roman times, evidence does exist of pottery kilns in the city and surrounding areas which may have supplied earthenware vessels to the new rulers of the realm. This is further supported by number of probable kiln sites unearthed in the region – at Woodperry, south of Stow Wood, Marston, Iffley, Littlemore, Kennington, and Headington (Churchill Hospital) – no doubt taking full advantage of the city’s rich clay beds.

Add to this the fact that Oxford was (and is) of course very close to the important trading highway of the River Thames, plus the fuel readily available from the Headington and Cowley woodlands, and you can see how the city would have made an ideal location for Roman industry.

Although there was no large-scale settlement in ‘Oxford’ at this time pottery making appears to have been widespread and prolific in the area. In fact, this industry is one of the earliest recorded in Oxford.

The Saxons

Although Oxford (or Ohsnafordia, as it was known in Saxon times) wasn’t really recognised by the Romans, in the Saxon age it began to assume a much greater importance within Britain. In the late Saxon period particularly, when it was positioned on a major trade route between the two powerful kingdoms of Mercia and King Alfred’s Wessex, growth was high.

St. Frideswide
According to legend, St. Frideswide was born in around 650, daughter of Mercian King Didan, and was brought up to holiness by Algiva. When proffered (and refusing) the hand of King Algar (also a Mercian) she fled her homeland to settle in Oxford and there she built an abbey (where Christ Church stands today) – reportedly to preserve her virginity.

And preserve her it did, for when King Algar followed her there and attempted to take both her and the abbey by force he was struck blind. Only St. Frideswide’s later forgiveness restoring his lost vision.

Long after her death in 735 and during the reign of Ethelred the Unready, the abbey was razed to the ground (in 1002) with Oxford’s Danish population being blamed for the burning, and a large number of them were massacred (as part of the then King’s desire to remove all Danes from England). It was later rebuilt as an Augustinian Priory, the cemetary of which has been excavated in Christ Church Meadow.

St. Frideswide is now the patron Saint of Oxford City.

Alfred the Great
King of Wessex (871 – 899) and leader of the Saxon resistance to the onslaught of Danish Viking invaders, but probably better remembered by many for the legend of his lack of culinary skills. Legend also records King Alfred as responsible for founding Oxford University, not as unlikely as it may first appear.

The Danes Revenge
During the uncertain reign of Ethelred the Unready, in 1009, the Danes sacked Oxford in retribution for the massacre of 1002 and just four years later the city, having increased in importance, was again forced to submit to Danish invasion by Swein Forkbeard and his armies. In fact, Oxford was viewed as so important during this period that Cannute (later to become king) chose the city for his coronation in 1018.

Medieval Age

After recovering from the Danish invasions it suffered in the latter part of the Saxon period, Oxford continued it’s growth and importance right into what is now known as the Medieval age. Not all ran smoothly however, as in 1138 the city suffered a huge fire which effectively burnt it to the ground.

Oxford Castle
From the Medieval age, and still very visible is Oxford Castle, originally built by Norman lord, Robert D’Oily in 1071.

In the winter of 1142, Oxford Castle became the scene of a seige when it was home to Queen Maud (Matilda), during her struggle with King Stephen. The queen only escaped the castle after her guards lowered her over the walls and, in a white dress which effectively camoflauged her against the backdrop of winter snow, she crept through enemy lines and across the Castle Mill stream to freedom.

The Black Death
Oxford was hit hard by the plague (1348 – 1350) and during this time the local colleges kept country houses outside of the city where scholars could flee, no such opportunities for the ordinary resident, however.  As a result, Oxford’s population dropped dramatically during this period, and the colleges took full and grisly advantage of the fact by buying up vacant property and greatly expanding their holdings within Oxford.

Tudor Oxford

Famous Tudor king, Henry VIII, founder of the Anglican Church left his mark on Oxford, taking control of Christ Church from Cardinal Wolsey and abolishing the study of canon law.   He instituted University chairs for medicine, civil law, Greek, theology, and Hebrew instead, marking a fundamental shift in emphasis for the University, away from its monastic beginnings.

The University

The exact origins of Oxford University are not known. Certainly many theories on how it came into being have been expounded, but none have been proved beyond a shadow of a doubt.

King Alfred
It has been said for example, that the Saxon King of Wessex, Alfred the Great could have founded the University during his reign (871 and 899), due to his very un-Saxon penchant for scholarly pursuits, and although this is not as unlikely as it might sound, no cast-iron evidence supports it.

Long after Alfred however, during the late 11th or early 12th century, it is known that Oxford became a centre of learning for clerics, from which a school or university could have sprung or evolved.

Academic Centre
Firmly established as an academic centre by the 13th century, Oxford was drawing students from across Europe for studies focused on houses established by the Dominicans (1221), Fransiscans (1224), Carmelites (1256), and Augustinians (1267). end of excerpts.

and so today in 2009, as I walked the streets of this magnificent city, I met, listened to and observed the students of today.  I wonder of they appreciate the history that surrounds them on a daily basis.

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When an egg is broken from the outside, a life ends…….

When an egg is broken from within, a life begins!

Always let the great things in your life begin from within.

Anon

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