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Archive for the ‘family and relationships’ Category

I received this in an email from my sister today, and thought the words were just perfect.  I would like to share them with you:

Who is in your front row?

Life is a Theatre… ~ Invite Your Audience Carefully~

Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in your life.
There are some people in your life who need to be loved from a DISTANCE.
It is amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of – or minimize your time with – those draining, negative, incompatible, ‘not-going- anywhere’ relationships or friendships.

Observe the relationships around you.
Pay close attention…

Which ones lift, and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage, and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill, and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama, or don’t really understand, know or appreciate you & the gifts that lie within you?

Remember that the people you have around you will have an impact on your life, your values and your income.  So, be careful when choosing the people you hang out with, as well as the information with which you will feed your mind. We should not share our dreams with negative people, nor feed our minds with negative thoughts.

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you… the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW, and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

Ask for wisdom and discernment, and choose wisely the people who will sit in the front row of your life.

You cannot change the people around you….but you CAN change the people you choose to be around!

WHO IS IN YOUR FRONT ROW?

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Travel; what is it about that word that conjures up a whole vista of possibilities?   Could you imagine what your life would be like without travel?  Is it possible to not travel?   Whatever you do and whatever your reason,  travelling is a part of most people’s lives.

For centuries now people have been travelling, not just locally, but right around the world.   The reasons over the centuries have been different and yet remain the same, just in a different context.   Our forefathers travelled.  Ancient civilizations travelled.   New world’s were discovered, different civilizations and different cultures.   Their reasons for travel were vastly different and yet remain the same; to explore and conquer.   We all travel in one way or another.

There are different reasons why people travel:

1) Many people travel because they want to see their families and friends, whether they live near or far. Invitations from families and friends, for weddings, birthdays, or any other form of celebration are a good reason to pack your bags and travel.

2) Some people may travel seeking love, because they want to find their soul mates, believing that there is only one person for them and if they haven’t had much luck in their area, perhaps they will be luckier elsewhere.   With millions of people around the world, there is a possibility they could find love in some other place.

3) People travel to seek employment, perhaps having been unlucky nearer to home, possibly because they want to have a different experience e.g. volunteering.   Admittedly work may be hard to come by in your hometown or country and so some people decide to work abroad because they are looking for greener pastures.  They could earn more money abroad or perhaps their expertise is not favourable where they currently reside.

4) People travel because they want to learn about other cultures, to experience the differences between their’s and other cultures.  They travel and learn because for them learning while travelling is fun.   One very popular reason for travelling to another country is to enjoy and learn about the food.

5) People travel because they enjoy writing.   They want to share relevant information about the places they visit, write articles for their readers or find information for a novel perhaps.  There is a whole industry based just on travel writing.

6) People travel because they want to explore the landscape of different countries, take photographs as souvenirs or for commercial purposes.

7)  Many businessmen travel to promote or extend a current business, or start up a new business in other countries for expansion to increase their profit margins.    Business is nothing without profit.

8) And today, more and more people are travelling for pleasure, on vacation to exotic places.  Baby Boomers are currently the driving force behind the travel industry.   Born between 1946 and 1964, many of these people are now retired or coming up to retirement.  They’ve worked hard all their lives, invested sensibly and now they want to make the most of their later years, enjoy different experiences, see different countries and perhaps even relocate to warmer climes.

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Today being Sunday, I am of course blogging about religion and spirituality (just because I like to be orderly).

As a child my mother used to send us to Church (Sunday school) every week.   There we got to learn about Christ and Christian principles and about God.  We also had a load of fun colouring in pictures and listening to stories, and one of my most vivid memories of Christ was of him dressed in a long pure-white robe, a long vibrant sapphire blue cloak over that, brown sandals long brown hair and a beautiful smile.   That image was portrayed in a large book my Mother had given us of Bible Stories.

As we got older and started going to grown-up Church, sometimes my Mother (or Father – depending on whom we were living with at the time) would come with us, most times not), I recall that the preacher – of whichever church was nearest at the time (we moved a lot), would stand on his pulpit and either preach about how God would punish us for various sins etc and banish us to hell, or would preach about a loving God who forgave all sins.   This confused the heck out of me and I could not relate that to the pictures I had seen in the book or the stories I had read. (I do confess I have never read the bible through, only got as far as Genesis and touched on Revelations, as well as briefly on others in between).

In the fullness of time church went out the window and religion took a back-seat to real life, and we practised what my Mother called a ‘shot-gun’ religion – church for weddings, christenings, funerals and the occasional seasonal catch up.   Although I then considered myself to be a Christian the reality was that I did not lead a Christian lifestyle.   Neither I, nor my siblings were either; Baptised, Christened or whatever.   We had conflicting experiences of how life should be lived and how life was lived – leading to total confusion.   Although I pretty much gave up on ‘religion’ per se, I was still curious and over the years I investigated, albeit briefly, different religions; touching on Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, I went to different churches: Methodist; Church of England; Catholic; and Baptist and even ventured into the world of Seventh Day Adventists.

When my daughter went to school, I sent her to a Catholic School for most of her junior years, the result of which that she has sworn off religion for life (so far).  (Actually, the Toasim venture, was unwittingly mitigated by her; through a Chinese school friend she was helping to learn English and who was teaching her Mandarin in return.)   We were totally taken with the whole experience and faithfully attended services every Friday, which lasted till they told us that cats don’t have souls!   Bearing in mind: I am a cat lover of note, had five cats at the time, one of whom had just been killed by a car that very day – bad timing).  Taosim went out the window.

On the rare occasion I have attended church since my childhood, it is usually to pray for someone else (I do believe in an Almighty God/Entity), to attend Easter Service or Christmas Eve Mass (I enjoy the carols) and for weddings, funerals, christenings and very occasionally just because I want to enjoy the spiritual environment.   Other than that I am totally taken with old churches and cathedrals and love wandering about whether they be whole or in ruins.   It is more for the aesthetic beauty than religious, and I also love the traditions.

Which brings me to spirituality.   I would consider myself to be a spiritual person; I had an amazing experience at Date With Destiny (see my book).   And I have been thinking; what is religion as opposed to spirituality and how does spirituality fit into our daily lives?   Doing some research, of course my first stop was Wikipedia and this is what I found.

Traditionally, religions have regarded spirituality as an integral aspect of religious experience and have long claimed that secular (non-religious) people cannot experience “true” spirituality. Many do still equate spirituality with religion, but declining membership of organised religions and the growth of secularism in the western world has given rise to a broader view of spirituality.

Secular spirituality carries connotations of an individual having a spiritual outlook, which is more personalized, less structured, more open to new ideas/influences, and more pluralistic than that of the doctrinal faiths of organized religions. At one end of the spectrum, even some atheists are spiritual.   While atheism tends to lean towards scepticism regarding supernatural claims and the existence of an actual “spirit”, some atheists define “spiritual” as nurturing thoughts, emotions, words and actions that are in harmony with a belief that the entire universe is, in some way, connected; even if only by the mysterious flow of cause and effect at every scale.

Some modern religions also see spirituality in everything: see pantheism and neo-Pantheism. In a similar vein, Religious Naturalism has a spiritual attitude towards the awe, majesty and mystery it sees in the natural world.

For a Christian, to refer to him or herself as “more spiritual than religious” may (but not always) imply relative deprecation of rules, rituals, and tradition while preferring an intimate relationship with God. The basis for this belief is that Jesus Christ came to free humankind from those rules, rituals, and traditions, giving humankind the ability to “walk in the spirit” thus maintaining a “Christian” lifestyle through that one-to-one relationship with God.

Interesting!   This is just a small sample of what I found.  What are your thoughts?   Of course there is much, much more on the internet and the subject could be beaten to death, however, please bear in mind that I am not decrying, deriding or slating any religion, belief or way of life, in any way – I am just voicing what is my belief and how I have experienced life.   I do not wish to be ‘converted’ and if you leave any comments kindly do so at a constructive level, respecting the fact that everyone has a different set of beliefs, values and their own model of the world and that in my opinion we are all correct in our thinking and that we all have the right to our own beliefs.   I also do not feel that any one religion or religious sect, or way of thinking or set of beliefs, is either right or wrong; it just is.   How I do wish that we could all accept that.

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This little gem came to me in an email the other day!!! It’s really funny and well worth sharing:

“My son came home from school one day, With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough, To put me in my place.

‘Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today, The ‘Children’s Bill of Rights.’

It says I need not clean my room, Don’t have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think, Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion, And regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head, And I sure don’t have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want, And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like, Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me, I’ll charge you with a crime.
I’ll back up all my charges, With the marks on my behind.

Don’t you ever touch me, My body’s only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses, that’s just more child abuse.

Don’t preach about your morals, Like your Mum did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control, And it’s illegal too!

Mum, I have these children’s rights, So you can’t influence me,
Or I’ll call Children’s Services Division, Better known As ‘C.S.D.’

Mum’s Reply and Thoughts…………………

Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully, I couldn’t let this go.
A smile crept upon my face, he’s messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping At the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, ‘Pick out all you want, there’s shirts & pants galore.

I’ve called and checked with C.S.D . Who said they didn’t care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes Instead of Nike Airs.

I’ve canceled that appointment To take your driver’s test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned So I’ll decide what’s best.’

I said ‘No time to stop and eat, Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn To make your own flipping lunch

Just save the raging appetite, And wait till dinner time.
We’re having liver and onions, A favorite dish of mine.’

He asked ‘Can I please rent a movie, To watch on my VCR?’
‘Sorry, but I sold your TV, For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room, You’ll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won’t be trendy now, I’ll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get, Will buy me something neat.

I’m selling off your jet ski, Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the ‘Parents Bill of Rights’, It’s in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying, Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out, Instead of C.S.D..?’

Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers, Or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday OR ANYONE WHO’D JUST GET A LAUGH. I love this One!!!
From a MuM (Mean Unappreciated Mother.)”

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When do you touch someone? Or more importantly when don’t you?  Why do you touch someone and why don’t you?   What is the etiquette of greeting people?   How well do you have to know someone, before you kiss them hello? Do you kiss them on the cheek once? Or twice!

It’s a social minefield.  The truth is that we have become a nation of touchy-feelies, a nation of huggers.   Not that hugging is a bad thing – after all there is nothing wrong with a little human warmth.

How do you remain private when everyone else wants to touch you?

In a society where genuine warmth has been replaced by the pretence of warmth, you protest at your peril.   Wanting to keep your own personal space is increasingly being seen as a bit cold, unfriendly and uptight.

In the past, people didn’t kiss, or openly hug or rub each other’s shoulders.   But it’s all changed.   Men and women greet each other and members of the opposite sex with a physical warmth that would have been unacceptable even, a decade or so ago.   In the past, men shook hands with other men in a formal fashion – then they shook hands with the ladies they were introduced to.

Watch any TV show these days and you will notice a lot of hugging going on between the hosts and the participants.   It has become a common practice to hug on stage when someone wins a prize, arrives for a show and even heterosexual men have now become far less uptight about giving and receiving hugs.

In a way, we’ve all become more Euro-centric in that sense.   People living in countries such as Italy, France and Spain have always kissed each other hello.

In 1959, psychologist Edward T Hall defined personal space as an ’emotionally charged bubble of space which surrounds each individual’ and added that anything closer than 5ft was to close for anyone other than intimate relations.

Current estimations of the accepted distance in the U.S. now ranges from 18ft to 4ft, and endless experts study this subject – it is called the study of proxemics.

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