Not Just a Granny

hurry home to Mama!!

As a Carer my days are usually pretty busy what with caring, cleaning and cooking, so I don’t often get time to read the newspapers and rely on the 6pm News (and twitter) to catch up with world events.

Today I had the good fortune of an extra hour in the morning and decided to buy & read the daily papers.  The variety of news is fascinating and the front page filled with hype.  This btw was not why I bought the paper….I don’t do hype.

What I did do (?) was get exceedingly annoyed with some of the stuff I read.
Firstly, as I am sure you already know, the newspapers are responsible for creating a storm where there isn’t one and blowing a story up and out of proportion.  I know it’s coz human beings (doings) love a scandal and the more scandalous the headlines the more papers they sell.  Which seems a bit sick to me and I sometimes wonder if instead of charging for newspapers we got them for free, would they create such ridiculous headlines.
Secondly I got totally annoyed with a particular polititian (who shall remain un-named) who persists in ‘blaming’ the last Government for whatever issue happens to raise it’s ugly head.  I seriously believe that once a Politician gets into power they have a complete mind-wipe; when they’re no longer the ‘Opposition’, all the accusations and challenges they put to the ex-ruling Party are suddenly forgotten.
So here are the things I read in today’s paper:

Front page: story continues page 9!!! – Cameron raises stakes in debate on immigration – and the sum of it is that the Lib Dems are, as the paper put it “appalled at the language he is using”. Me thinks there is dissention in the ranks! Who would have guessed? Hmmm.

Front page: story continues page 11!! (so only two pages short of the immigration problem) – Zeta-Jones checks into clinic for mental illness.The front page has a HUGE blow up pic of Zeta-Jones that overshadows the Politician’s photo.  – Apparently she now has bipolar disorder caused by the stress of her husband’s illness. A doctor’s comment says that the current favoured theory is that it is a genetic disorder, so what I am wondering is why all of a sudden does she have this disorder?   She checked into the clinic for 5 days and checked herself out sgain! Surely only a Doctor should be able to ‘check’ you in?  Why bring it up now?  As a p.s. The footnote read that she is about to start working on two new movies. Hmmm.

Front page: story continues page 4!!! (way more important than the immigration problem) – Kate and the Church. – Apparently Kate (or Catherine as she is now called) was only confirmed into the Church last month ahead of her marriage to Prince William. “A hush-hush date with the bishop and Kate fills in the obvious gap on her CV”. CV??? what are they on? It goes on to say that her parents only occassionally attend their local church. Who cares!   I remember my mother called that type of religious attendance ‘a fire-engine religion’.  You only use it when you need it.  It is also interesting to note that the knives are already being sharpened and the girl is not even married yet.

Page 3: Call girl must keep celebrity sex secret: story not relegated to a back page, but fills virtually the whole of page 3. (evidently this is way more important than either the Immigration issues or the marriage of our future (possibly) Queen).  Apparently some famous actor who is married and has a child had a ‘relationship’ with a hooker and has now had an injunction granted preventing his name from being mentioned. What’s new? I bet you that in a couple of months time the ‘sensational’ news will be accidently leaked, the hooker will write a book for an undisclosed sum, the actor will go on to get a divorce, the wife will sue for millions for the next 50thousand years, the actor will go on to marry someone else and in due course the next scandal will raise it’s ugly head and a few movies will be on short release. The use of Wayne Rooney’s name in the article will no doubt push up sales.

Page 3: Cowell’s lawyers deny ‘scandalous’ allegations in £2bn divorce row. This only warranted a very small space on page 3 and the story is not continued elsewhere which is a suprise really since  he has new progammes starting soon.

Page 5: Outcry as mobile operator fails to pass on all charity text cash.- Apparently one of the major phone operators is holding back 10% of the money donated via TEXT donation for charity, by it’s users.  Thankfully my provider donates the full 100% of monies I donate, if they didn’t I would most certainly have something to say about that. This is an absolute disgrace and I cannot believe that these companies have the audacity to hold this money back.  It is meant for charity. Why are policies and agreements not put in place before the event rather than after.  The sum we are talking about is not to be sniffed at either and amounts to a percentage of a possible £96million per year by 2014. Greedy buggers. Boosting their profits by stealing from the poor.

Page 6 & 7: Hague backs plan to arm rebels – but not with guns from Britain. – is this man mad? Why do we want to create another disaster like Afghanistan and Iraq. So if he plans on not using guns from the UK, whose does he plan to use?  I am sure these people think we are completely stupid.  No matter where you buy the guns from, or how you get them there, as the broker we will still be responsible.  And in any event, if you dig deep enough, there is bound to be a British part in the guns there somewhere.  This whole Libyan issue has me completely floored anyway.  History has proven time and again just what happens when we (the UK Government) decides that so and so should be out and so and so should be in.  Who is flavour of the month?  Take a look at Zimbabwe folks!! hello!  It’s funny that one after the other in countries ruled by Dictators, the citizens are slaughtered and opposition parties decimated and yet the UK & USA stay mum and nothing gets done besides blowing a lot of hot air. However…..look a little closer and what do we find……..tah dah! No oil! Hmmm.

Page 8: Killers could go free as cutbacks weaken prosecution teams. – Mostly they do anyway coz some eejit hashes it up. With the ridiculous system that we have where a murderer is let out after a number of years for good behaviour only to go out and kill again, as has happened a number of times in the past, what difference now that we are supposedly short of money (only the banks have any money these days (and that aint no pun!) Once again I have no doubt the previous government will be held liable for this. Besides which, criminals in this country have better ‘human rights’ than the normal citizens who bear the brunt of their crimes.  I place the blame fair and square on the so called ‘Human Rights’ activists.  I am all for them getting their teeth in to a real problem but to tell me a murderer has ‘rights’ is laughable.  What about the victims and their families, people who will be traumatised for the rest of their lives.  What Human Rights then? My advice would be to bring back Capital Punishment. We could dispense with the lot of them and save a whole heck of a lot of the tax-payers money.

Negative, negative, negative, and so it goes…….and all of the above is why I am grateful I don’t have time to read the papers.  It raises my blood pressure and makes me boil!!!!   A woman I met some years ago at an event had a newspaper that only printed ‘good news’ stories.  Sadly it didn’t survive. No suprise there.  Are we so hooked on bad news and salacious gossip that the good stories get pushed to the back of the paper and serious issues get relegated to page 9?

and now for the good news:

Page 14: Scientists show how birds get one over the cuckoo’s eggs. – as you may know, cuckoos lay their eggs in other bird’s nests, then push off and leave the poor unsuspecting parents to rear their young.  This delightful story tells about how these birds are now getting clever and laying eggs with such complex patterns that the cuckoo is unable to match them. Ha!

Page 16: Close shave for duckling as gorilla cuddles up. – a duckling at Bristol Zoo apparently came to the attention of a 4-year old male gorilla that plucked it up and cuddled the wee bird before sniffing it.  Thankfully the little critter was wearing ‘I ain’t dinner’ eau de’parfum, made it’s excuses pretty damn sharpish and after hiding in the bushes for a while, escaped when the gorilla lost interest.  Gorgeous photos.  The duckling is about half the size of the gorilla’s hand.  Eeek!

Page 16: Family secure Christian burial for killer hanged in 1821. – quite a bizarre story this. Apparently this bloke killed a lass he was infatuated with.  He was then hanged for his crime, after which his body was dissected, his skin used as the cover for a book detailing his crimes, and his remains left in a cupboard at the University.  Apparently this dastardly deed came to the notice of the dissected, deceased’s family, who promptly complained, recovered the remains and had them buried 190 years to the day, with a full period burial: coffin draped in black, on a flat-bed cart, and the pall-bearers in top hat and tails. Anyone with good sense would most assuredly not want to  lay claim to a murderer’s remains, family or not! Hmmm.

And that is as far as I got and that is enough thank you very much.  Urgh!  The newspapers.  Should be banned.  After all, they end up in the trash where they belong and look at how many trees we could save and chemicals we could avoid dumping into our rivers and streams if we banned bad-news newspapers for ever more.  We have twitter and facebook , google and kindles now….. ban the papers I say!!! Hmmm!

p.s. and thankfully I don’t read the papers every day!! Hahahaha.

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