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Archive for the ‘It's my life’ Category

My daughter recently bought me a magnetic weekly to do list.  I had yet to fill in any things to so. She decided enough was enough and I came home to this tonight……how can I decline?

my to-do list

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Friday 6.30pm finally arrived after 5 long days of waiting! Skipping out the office door I headed to the station, loving the classical music that greets me there every night (the music is apparently a ‘yob’ deterrent!).  The train was not as full as usual so I managed to get a seat and someone had kindly left their Evening Standard behind for me to read.  Reading the papers on my daily journey has become an enjoyable pastime and I am learning more about politics, the Olympics, the shenanigans of our City officials, what’s on in London and from the Metro I am increasing my stock of ‘very interesting things I read in the papers’ ….one day when I die, they are going to come into my house and have to search me out amongst the paper cut-outs! 🙂 It’s a real compulsion and has become a bit of an addiction.  I have always been an ‘accummulator’ and all through my life I have collected all sorts of things…wish I had been as diligent about collecting money…but I digress.

Back to the weekend; once home we, my girl and I had a yummy meal, watched a bit of telly and worked like demons on our respective businesses.   Late to bed again at about 1am.

Saturday it was up early and not too bright and headed off to Russell Square for the Immerse Event – #StepAhead where my daughter was to be one of the speakers.  I was so excited, to attend one of her trainings and looking forward to hearing from the other speakers too.  I met some fab people at the event and thoroughly enjoyed the day’s talks.    I especially enjoyed hearing from Elliot Kay, the Coach with the Hat; a real live wire speaker.  My daughter was a delight and I have to say that I am so exceptionally proud of her achievements and how much she has developed as a speaker of note; a resounding applause followed her talk.  We headed to the bar after and had a wonderfully funny and interesting conversation that ranged back and forth across a wide range of subjects.

Heading for home we relaxed over tea and more chat.  I had planned on doing a self-guided Dickens tour on Sunday so did a bit of research to prepare me for the walk.  We were also waiting with bated breath for news from South Africa to say my sister had delivered her baby.  Finally after a very long labour, she had a fine and lovely bouncing boy; Luca.

my little nephew...Luca. 🙂 how gorgeous he is!

What a lovely day I woke to…..sunny, blue skies. Just what I had ordered for my walkabout….except I didn’t get that far as it turned out!!! I had promised to help my daughter with some transcribing, video to word!! Urgh! Not fun.  It took hours and thankfully had a useful outcome in that I have now realised that I no longer want to be a transcriber.  It was so very tedious. But finally after about 2 hours of typing we decided to down tools and head to the river for a walk.  The day was so incredibly beautiful and we enjoyed a bracing stroll to Richmond Lock, along the Thames Path towards Kew and back again.  CJ has a new camera lens and I got papped!!! repeatedly 🙂 🙂 She is so funny and I eventually gave up and posed and smiled and did my duty as a photographic subject! hahaha.

Actually her photos are amazing and she could be a professional photographer I am sure. Tea and cake followed when we got home and then back to the drawing board. I am now seriously into pinterest and had to chuckle when I read a blog about how addictive pinterest has become and that in the near future there will be ‘Pinterest Anonymous’!! I’ll probably be it’s first customer.  I am loving it and especially love all the fabulous travel photos of some of the most amazing places.  A great weekend, albeit way too short.  Plus I didnt get to do my walk afterall…..instead I now look forward to doing it next weekend. 🙂

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I was knocked for a loop this morning when my daughter came through and read me the news that Whitney Houston has passed away.  The news was a real shocker and my reaction no less so! I started crying with no idea why.  I had loved much of her music and of course just loved the movie ‘The Bodyguard’…the ultimate romance.  I won’t say I was a fan as such, but I did feel very, very sad at the death of someone who was so talented, and at one stage appeared to have it all; talent, fame, money, travel and all the trappings, and yet it wasn’t enough.  Here is a really beautiful video, of the Dubai fountains synchronised to the words of :

I will always love you

I hope you enjoy the video, it’s really beautiful. Not too sure about the site…but the video is gorgeous.

Just after midday I took myself off into London for the afternoon to go walkabout, one of my passions and something I always find totally uplifting.  As I walked I mused at the fact that despite that I don’t have much money, very few possessions and with a mountain of debt to conquer, it is something as simple as walking about this beautiful city that has a richness that money can’t buy.  Is it really true then that money can’t buy happiness?

After a most wonderful afternoon, wandering here and there, up alleys twisting and winding, alongside the river, admiring and enjoying the sights, many familiar and well beloved….I arrived home to tea and rusks with my wonderful daughter.   Then I got onto facebook only to discover that one of my facebook friends with whom I had frequently exchanged comments or liked his posts was on the verge of suicide.

His post read: “I have fought so many battles in my life from a violent father, bullying at school and much more yet I have achieved so much. 3 special beautiful children and the best partner anyone could want. I am so so tired now though. I can’t fight any more, my mind and body are ill and worn out, my motivation gone. I am ready and it is time.
Thank you for all your love, it has been amazing. I will sleep peacefully and at rest now and start a new journey. I am looking forward to seeing old friends and family and devastated to be leaving mine.
Goodbye cruel world.”

The tragedy is that we all saw his earlier posts, the sad comments and unhappy picture posts and no-one realised just how much help he was needing. So many people said ‘I wish I’d known’ or ‘I wish I’d said something’.  But felt they couldn’t at the time.  How constrained we are by the conventions of society.  When your’e on social media you are meant to be ‘happy’ all the time, with thousands of ‘quotes’ or ‘inspirational’ posts or quotes filling the timeline.  Why are people unable to be normal?  Sad or unhappy posts are not always welcomed by those who read them.  I know…my daughter went through a very difficult time last year and came under fire from some people for her posts, not all mind as many were incredibly supportive.

The follow up to that post by his friends on facebook was fantastic and thankfully someone found him in time and he is now in hospital and being treated, his 3 special beautiful children at his bedside.  There is an advert currently being shown on TV that highlights mental illness and how awkward it is for people to know what to do or how to react.   I wonder how it must have been for Whitney Houston, a troubled, unhappy person who appeared to have it all.  I wonder at the outpouring of grief…I wonder that we left till after she died to say how much we loved her music, how much we cared. Would it have made a difference to her life?

Folks, if you know of someone who is going through a tough time right now, reach out to them, mental illness is not a shame and perhaps a kind word or gesture would make all the difference.  Smile at a stranger, don’t be afraid of looking foolish, or making a mistake….just reach out and even if you don’t know someone who is going through a tough time….reach out to those around you anyway.  Say how much you care and don’t leave it for the #RIP.

Below is what I saw today….

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and somehow the grey day was beautiful and quite apt for a sad day.

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Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. Bill Vaughn

Thankfully I am now of the age where I can take it one way or the other.
So I had planned to go into London to the Eye to see in the New Year, but…….I am not inclined to stand in the wet and cold any more so I have decided to do the sensible (old) thing and watch it on telly, then I can go straight to bed after instead of a 2 hour journey to get home.  But for that, I would be there…..

big ben and the new year fireworks

fireworks at Big Ben & the London Eye

And so before the year is out…I have decided to put finger to keyboard and write a blog which I haven’t done since the beginning of the month.

The last few months have been quite weird and certainly eventful. I finally quit my job as a carer in August and got an office job only to resign within 2.5 months…..although I am still working there. They asked me to reconsider and stay on. The boss is a pratt and thinks that intimidation is the way to motivate me! Hurrumph…think again mate. So I guess we shall have to wait and see what transpires in the new year.

I have, as many of you know, moved in with my daughter and we are now sharing a lovely house in Twickenham….5 minutes walk to the river

twickenham bridge & the river thames

view from Twickenham Bridge of the river Thames...I love this view

and 20 minutes to Sweetie Pies Bakery.

sweetie pies boutique bakery twickenham

xmas cupcakes at Sweetie Pies Boutique Bakery in Twickenham

I walk to Richmond station in the mornings and have hundreds of photos of the same scene; of the river and boats from the bridge and riverbank and yet surprisingly it is different every day! I also get to walk through the grounds and past what remains of Richmond Palace. Quite awesome really.

richmond palace

Richmond Palace

It’s lovely to have a home again and it was wonderful to celebrate Xmas with our own tree and all the trimmings.  Xmas morning was brilliant fun and we both had lots of pressies to open then a walk to Richmond Park and a full xmas dinner in the evening…except I forgot the Yorkshire puds!!!

our enormous xmas tree & lots of pressies

2011 has been a year of development and remonstration, of regret and realisation. I guess you could say I have ‘grown’ in some ways. In fact it’s been quite a stressful year in many ways and I have had to face some long suppressed truths and acknowledge a fair number of disappointments. I have been unpacking my boxes, now out of storage and it has been quite upsetting and yet cathartic…I have thrown out a lot of garbage (metaphorically & actually speaking) 10 boxes of clothes and stuff I have accumulated as well as tons of the personal development paperwork from 2007/2008!   I also opened a bottle of 2004 Nuy Muscadel that is now matured and quite sublime…I have a glass to hand as I write 🙂

I have had some fantastic new experiences; a Thames cruise to Hampton Court, an afternoon of Spy Games up in Buckinghamshire where I got to do some target shooting (awesome), went to see Roxette in live concert!! brilliant and an invitation to the Guildhall for the 600th anniversary celebrations,

guildhall london

invitation to the Guildhall London

a drumming lesson arranged for me by my beloved daughter as one of my xmas presents. So cool. I have wanted to learn to play the drums for ever and a day and now I have had my 1st lesson. We are going to arrange for more lessons in April.

learning the drums - my 2011 xmas present 🙂

In the family we have had 1 wedding, welcomed 4 new children into the family, Cémanthe’s brother & his wife had a new baby, my brother & his wife adopted 2 kiddies and gave birth to one of their own!!  We visited South Africa in June for a catch up with family and said a sad goodbye to a dearly beloved grandfather.

Cémanthe and her paternal grandparents...sadly Alan is no longer with us.

There have been ups and downs this year as well as some revelations. I have slept on The Mall to watch our future King marry, been to most of my favourite places and events in the city and discovered many more. I have written a book, now published on kindle, developed on-line fatigue, conducted my first tour of London, made new friends, and sadly lost contact with some too.   I have supported my daughter through a debilitating divorce and celebrated the growth of her company crowned by a Women in Business Award nomination and was invited to the opening of an art exhibition in my capacity as a ‘Blogger of Influence’…..

hatfield house henry moore

me at Hatfield House for the Henry Moore art exhibition (I'm the one in the purple jumper!)

2012 holds the promise of new adventures, new avenues to explore and new encounters. I hope to renew some others and definitely want to start travelling again. My dream of a campervan to travel around the UK and then the world still holds strong and if I work hard enough it may just transpire (2 of my gifts from Cémanthe were campervan related).

We here in London/UK have the Queen’s Jubilee to look forward to – which promises to be unbelievably amazing

the queens diamond jubilee 2012

visual representation of what the Royal Barge will look like for the Queen's Jubilee

as well as the Olympics…can’t wait.

2012 london olympics

just over 1 year to go - London 2012 Olympics

We have tickets to 2 of the events and even though it’s not the opening or closing ceremony…there are plenty of vantage points in London where we will be able to see the fireworks. Just to be here is amazing enough for me anyhow.

So in conclusion, I wish you all a wonderful 2012 and may you have 365 exciting days ahead!

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an invitation to the Guildhall

whoo hoo!!! I was lucky enough to secure an invitation to attend a lecture at the Guildhall in City of London for a lecture by Dr Simon Thurley and the launch of the book: ‘London 1000 years: treasures from the collections of the City of London’, in celebration of the 600th Anniversary of Guildhall.    Imagine!!! 600 years of history!  The building encompasses parts of the original building that date back another 200 years, years both calm and turbulent.

Guildhall is a fascinating building and the oldest secular building in the city, it has survived fire and 2 world wars, albeit not unscathed.  The facade of the building is beautiful and as you walk into Guildhall Yard  the ornate exterior gives you a taste of what lies within.  The area is redolent with history and the Lord Mayor’s Show starts from here where the Lord Mayor swears allegiance to the city in a ceremony that dates back to 1189 with the first Lord Mayor Henry Fitz Ailwin.

the first Lord Mayor of London - Henry Fitz Ailwen

Needless to say, heading off into the City after work was a thrill and I was agog with anticipation wishing the day away.  An invitation to the Guildhall!!!! never in my life.  The interior of the building is so gorgeous and filled to the brim with statues and memorials and relics of the past and I never tire of visiting.  The courtyard is enclosed by more modern buildings, an ancient church St Lawrence Jewry

St Lawrence Jewry

and other ancient buildings and the piece de resistance is what lies beneath!!! A Roman Amphitheatre discovered some years ago.

As part of the launch for the book (which I bought needless to say!) they displayed some of the amazing treasures that are housed in the Guildhall.  One of which was the original London Magna Carta dates from 1297 and Edward I.   Awesome to stand in front of that document that is hundreds of years old.  There was a letter from John Keats to Fanny Brawne as well as other amazing documents and poignant letters.

It felt kinda weird sitting amongst the Aldermen of the City and to be no more than 20 feet away from the Lord Mayor.  I thoroughly enjoyed the evening and of course loved the lecture which was filled with history.  After the canapes

food from the 15th century - freshly made 🙂

I went walkabout through the city to Bank Station and just enjoyed the quiet streets and the sights of the buildings lit up like beacons in the dark.

Royal Exchange

London is such a beautiful city.

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If ever you want to have a good laugh and fun times, visit the W.I.   Do not think for one second that coz the ladies have reach the silver surfer level that they are any less naughty or rambunctious than a class of 5 years-olds.

Last night at the WI was Secret Santa night and the room was atwitter with excitement.  The tables were decked out with red cloths, shiny tinsel xmas trees, gold crackers and xmas cards for each person. As you walked through the door a table laden with bottles of sherry and glasses awaited, at the back a trestle table groaned under the weight of platters of quiche, sausage rolls, cocktail sausages, crisps and treats, and in the corner, tempting but aloof a massive christmas cake…..mmmmmm!

The room buzzed with chatter and laughter.  On the right, a raffle table with 6 delightful prizes tempted punters to buy strips of tickets.  On the left a table laden with home-wares for sale, knitted hats and scarves, peg bags, table cloths, home-made marmalade, raspberry jam, blackberry jam, books and knick-naks.  Tempting.

In time the President called the room to order and like a class of kids, some settled and listened and other carried on as if she was invisible.  Talking above the chatter she bravely raised her voice till the goodie two-shoes’ in the room hisssed for quiet!! 🙂  The meeting had begun.  I have been to a few WI meetings, the first in a wee village in Pakenham in Suffolk some years ago.  Thank you’s, and future dates, messages and announcements and the schedule for evening.

Sherry made the rounds and soon the room descended into disorder once again.  Crackers were cracked, food was devoured while tea mixed with sherry to warm the cockles!  Games to play; first up a quiz – which we won 🙂 heehee, then chairs in a circle for pass the parcel – hysteria reigned supreme.  Thankfully we stopped short of musical chairs….that would have been wild!

Next up….. Secret Santa.  The excitement mounted as the numbers were called and like little kids, the ladies dithered as they tried to choose the most intriguing parcel…..what would they find inside?  Wrapping paper flew asunder as gasps and laughter filled the air.  The tension mounted as perhaps your number didnt come up and the pile started to shrink!   Then with a whoop and a cheer…….hooray!  I’m next!

So even though we didn’t get to sing  ‘Jerusalem’ or pose for a calendar, we did have lots of fun, a good laugh, made plans for future outings, enjoyed companionship, interesting speakers, and a jolly good old knees up Mother Brown…. time to join the W.I.

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Virgin train

my first time on a Virgin train

Yesterday saw me heading north on the Virgin train from Euston to Milton Keynes.  It was my very first time on a Virgin train and (even though I really admire Richard B) I felt like a bit of a traitor supporting the brand when not only has Richard Branson moved his business interests out the country to save on taxes, but now he has bought Northern Rock and is now the owner of a bank he wanted, we the tax payers are left with a massive £400million loss.  Not that I can blame him really, what with the taxes we pay here and if he wants a bank….well then why not! It’s certainly better than having to go cap in hand to the bank manager when you want a loan! 🙂

But I digress.  I was heading north to take part in my birthday present…. Spy Games Academy 🙂    Ever since I was a young girl I was fascinated by and read WW2 stories of spies and mystery, women who parachuted behind enemy lines into France and Germany on secret missions…..right up my alley.  I desperately wanted to be a brave heroine and read every book I could lay my hands on.   As I grew up, so my desire changed course, and I wanted to be an FBI Agent, thoroughly fascinated by conspiracy theories and stories of clandestine meetings and secret codes posted in dead-letter boxes.  My daughter grew up hearing me say these things over and over again.    So this year for my birthday she bought me an excursion to the Spy Games Academy!!! OMGosh!!!!!   That was back in April and now finally I was able to go on the excursion; booked for the 19th November.

The past week my excitement had been building by the day and by Saturday morning I was bursting with excitement….stirred not shaken, 008 and NotJustAGranny 🙂

The train journey was fab as always, the UK is so beautiful.  Tranquil canals, barges slowly meandering along, lush green fields dotted with white sheep, clumps of ancient woodland, towering hedges that twist and wind following the country roads that lead to quintessential English villages.   I never tire of whizzing along through this country’s marvellous landscape.  The weather was fabulous and we are in the midst of a very warm November.

After a very quick 30 minute journey we arrived in Milton Keynes and from there a 20 minute cab journey to Thornton Village in the heart of the Buckinghamshire countryside.   By that stage my heart was racing and my tummy filled with butterflies.  Finally!   Spy Games Academy!

spy games academy green fields

Spy Games Academy in Buckinghamshire

The green fields ahead and a massive aeroplane hanger to the right I trotted on over and registered.  First up a briefing and into our respective teams.  Then a course in unarmed combat where I learned how to knock someone out with a sock full of stones…..very useful for when I am meandering on my own through the countryside ( 🙂 ).  We also learned how to use a pen as a weapon and how to down a fully grown man with moves that I know for sure I have not a chance of replicating.  I’ll stick to screaming, thank you!!

Then it was off across the fields to the the guns!!! whoo hoo!!! I love target shooting and the last time I had the opportunity was in 1976 when I was dating a guy who used to go target shooting with handguns.  I loved it then and now I was to have another chance!   We were given a brief run down of what and what not to do…..like point the barrel at our compatriots.   Then I got to lift this beautiful piece of wood and metal that slid into my hand like it lived there.  I love the feel of guns and so enjoy the challenge of aiming and firing….at a non-living target of course.   So first things first….we had to cock the barrel and insert the pellets (not real bullets…I doubt they wanted to let us bunch of amateurs loose with that kind of thing).  I had to use both hands to cock the barrel… no strength at all in my arms.  hahaha!  Then it was eye to glass and my target 500 meters away sprang into view.  I took a deep breath, swung the cross-hairs till I had the bulls-eye in my sights, aimed and gently squeezed the trigger.  What a thrill to hear the thwack of the pellet hitting the target…..5 times!!!

my first attempt 🙂

I had absolutely no expectations of actually having hit the target so you can imagine my surprise and delight when we got to the boards and whoaaaa!!! All my shots had hit the mark with two right in the black!!  The instructor was really complimentary and I felt so chuffed!!!  Then yay!!! we got to do it all over again.  Another 5 shots!!

After we had all shot off our quota we walked back to the target and OMG!!!! I had hit the black circle another 3 times out of 5, all tightly grouped.  All the shots were within the inner circles and the instructor cheered when he saw my target and gave me a huge hug!!! heehee.

spy games academy

results of my 2nd attempt 🙂

I felt so thrilled especially as I was the oldest by about 20 years easily of the next oldest person in the group and the rest of the group bar one, were all guys!! whey hey….Not Just a Granny 🙂   What a thrill.  We were then given carte-blanche to shoot off as many pellets as we liked at small metal targets hanging from a metal frame suited about a hundred yards away….and hey hey hey…. I hit this very small swinging target 5 times out of 7!!  One of the instructors behind me exclaimed each time I hit the target with “geez look at that…she can’t miss!”   They were really impressed and apparently I got the accolade for the best shot of the afternoon!!!  Bloody marvellous.

Then we headed over to the assault rifle section and got to heft an assault gun, not  real of course, but close enough to make it feel like the real thing.  Filled with pellets, we had two targets to hit this time, one of which was beyond a pile of tyres that we had to run towards, sink behind then aim and fire!  Way Cool.

spy games academy

the assault rifle course...so much fun!

So first the instruction…again a little reminder not to aim the gun at anyone, then safety glasses on and so we lined up behind a barrel and on the command of ‘UP!’ we fired……whoaaa!!!! a stream of pellets went flying through the air and pounded the target!!   I was in my element.

spy games academy

safety glasses on, and assault rifle in hand....008 strikes again!

We got to do this about 5 or 6 times and then the game changed and our next exercise was to first shoot the front target, run across the field, fall down and hide behind the tyres take aim and shoot the target down field.   What a blast….needless to say I came absolutely last in the group getting back to the start.  Once I am down on my knees it takes a massive effort to get back up again! hysterical.  I was laughing so much I could barely stand.  We got to this about 5 times.   So much fun!

Then over to the axe throwing section where I got to let my inner tiger out in a war-cry that I defy anyone to beat.  Fortunately I am of the age where I no longer care what people think and I got right into the spirit of the game and really let fly with the axes and the war-cries.   Shame, but the fellas were far more tame and no-one besides me did the whole war-cry thing.  Man, did it feel good.  The instructor was quite impressed hahaha.   Called me ‘sweetpea’….can you imagine!!! Sweetpea…of all the names!! hysterical.

Next we were given instruction and hints and tips of how they do surveillance, using cameras so small you could not imagine.  Evasive techniques, trailing techniques and how they use groups to tail someone.   Scary stuff.   Then as the day started to come to a close and the sun slipped down the sky, and dusk began to fall, the last 40 minutes was spent strapping on webbing round our waists with leg holster gear and so we learned how to draw, aim and shoot a hand gun (all plastic guns of course).

spy games academy

dusk in Buckinghamshire, near the village of Thornton

Then we were given replicas of machine guns, donned red or blue coloured vests and army type helmets and guns charged, off we went.  Piles of tyres, metal barrels, piles of hay bundles and what not.  The aim of the game was to run around a replicated combat zone and shoot the other team.   The guns had a limited lifespan and you had 10 lifetimes.   Once you had shot off all your ammo and your quota of grenades, that was it….you were dead!   Well, all I can say is that I must have died about 50 times, I ended up shooting my own team (my night vision is non-existent) and I laughed so much that I could barely stand.   By the time my gun ran out (which was very quick in comparison to the others) I had sneaked up on someone behind a pile of barrels and pam pam shot him dead, my pants were all muddied from falling down onto my knees behind piles of tyres and I had killed most of my team!!!   Hysterical.

What a brilliant afternoon!  I can highly recommend letting your inner child out and having a blast!  I can’t wait to go back again.  Spy Games Academy – Summer 2012 for sure!!!

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Heading off to the airport, bursting with excitement, my bags packed; 1 rucksack and a backpack, my stomach swirled and whirled with a mix of excitement and terror.

The journey to get to this point had been fraught with loss, anxiety, fear, hard work, worry, excitement and the thrill of setting off on an adventure to lands unknown…..loss of a job, giving up my home, fear of the unknown, the anxiety of leaving my daughter on her own (how daft am I), fear of being in foreign countries, worry of what to do when I got there, and how to get to where I had to go – the future spread before me and I had no idea of the adventures that lay ahead.

10 years ago today; 8th October 2001 = (3652 days, 87648 hours, 5258880 minutes ago) I left South Africa.   The first time ever I was leaving the shores of my country of birth, I was flying across continents and seas over to Ireland to visit my little sister and to celebrate her 30th birthday with her which was the following day (and also the day I arrived in Ireland).

3 months before this day, I had come to a fork in the road of my life.  The company I was working for had gone into liquidation in July, my daughter had attained the age of 21 in August (we had a fab party for that), and my sister who was living in Ireland at the time, as mentioned was due a landmark birthday in October and wanted someone from the family to join her.   So, since I would have no job from the end of that September, it made perfect sense for me to go.  There had of course been many forks in the road and I had gone on many a new journey in the preceeding 46years, but this was the first time I would be travelling overseas.

Getting to the point of departure was a journey of it’s own.  I had to obtain a visa, arrange for my house to be sold, worry about where my daughter was to live, sell my car, pack my belongings into storage, find the money to live on while I was away and pay the bills, fight with the airline that went into liquidation 3 weeks before I was due to depart (think Swissair), talk myself onto a packed flight with South African Airways, and spare a thought or two about what I would do for a job on my return……little did I know.  (and as I write those four words: ‘little did I know’ I am overwhelmed with emotion).

One of the most incredible things about being human, with a logical memory and perception is that….we can look back on events that change our lives and be amazed at the sheer wonder of it all.

My wonderful family; daughter Cémanthe, sister’s Sue & Joanne, nieces and nephews all came to see me off at the airport.  I literally bounced through the airport, both terrified and excited beyond words, so much so that I could not contain myself and as I bounced along towards Customs I jumped up and down like a kangaroo, laughing and crying at the same time.

The flight was long, and overcrowded and tiring.  I arrived in Zurich the next morning, absolutely terrified at finding my way to my next flight.  In the event I did and as we flew over Europe I was in tears; tears of excitement, of joy, of wonder, of fear and the overiding thought was that in these very skies the 2nd WW had been fought.  As a 2nd WW aficianado it was so emotional to think of those people who had lived through that time.

Next stop was London City airport.  How foreign then, how familiar now.  Finding my way to the tube; a time of confusion and fear. Trying to convert Rands to Pounds, thank goodness they spoke English.  First a bus ride and finally onto the Piccadilly line and I was on my way, one more leg and I would be in Ireland!!! Hooray.  I thrilled at the novelty of riding on a train underground, amazed that this was possible, amused at the people around me, the changing faces, the foreign languages, the suitcases and the fact that I, me, was there too!  I felt as if I was in a dream.

Then suddenly we left the underground and I saw the houses of London for the first time and I was smitten.  I often tell this story because it was life changing: as we left the tunnel I looked up and saw the houses and the chimneys that reminded me of Mary Poppins, and I fell in love.  A love that has never waned, grown stronger and as I said to someone today…..if I had felt as much passion for my husband as what I feel for London….I would probably still be married!!! (and no offence to anyone who is happily married, but I shudder at the thought 🙂 ), imagine all that I would have missed out on if I had not been single.  It still amazes me today that all my life I never expressed an interest in even visiting London and now it has become my home and I can’t imagine wanting to live anywhere else in the world.

The next surprise was Heathrow.  A LOT smaller than I had anticipated from the stories I had heard and then suddenly we were airborne and my excitement knew no bounds.  The patchwork fields below me looked enchanting, then the Irish Sea spread before me and my excitement escalated, then suddenly the coast of Ireland started to appear!! And as we came in to land, I heard gaellic for the first time, realised why Ireland is called the ’emerald isle’ and whoa……there below me I could see a castle!  A real genuine castle, castle.  Alice in Wonderland had nothing on this!!

At the time I arrived Ireland they were in the midst of an outbreak of foot & mouth disease and we had to walk through a special fluid to clean our shoes.  That was quite symbolic for me as I felt like I was starting with a clean slate. (I know, I know, but it makes sense to me!).  The Customs man waved me through, but I stopped and asked him to stamp my passport…..duh!!!  My third stamp in 24 hours.  Meeting up with my beloved sister and brother-in-law was out of this world.  The joy I felt at being there, seeing them again was beyond words.  My head was buzzing with all the new experiences I was having.

The next 24 hours were just beyond description….and I never went home!

Since that day I have travelled the length and breadth of Ireland, visited and stayed in hundreds of  villages, dozens of towns and many cities of England, Scotland & Wales, visited dozens of islands and 2 continents, been to America (3 times), Venice, Verona and Sirmione, Paris and Versailles, Amsterdam & Gouda, Bruges & Damme, Gibraltar and been on a cruise to the Bahamas.  I have explored medieaval forts and towers, meandered through Castles, Abbeys, Cathedrals, Churches, world-famous Universities and two Roman amphitheatre’s.  Walked on a Roman road in the crypt of a church, visited many other crypts and a 5,000 year old burial mound, the sites of significant historical battles, a medieaval Tower and Palaces, seen the Queen of England (a live one!), walked in the footsteps of a beloved Princess, Winston Churchill, Christopher Wren, Oscar Wilde, Chaucer, Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, Thomas Hardy, Kings and Queens, Dukes and Duchesses, and watched the Royal Wedding of a future King and Queen from close proximity on The Mall in London.  I have participated in and watched ancient parades and ceremonies, waded barefoot in the Irish Sea, the English Channel, the Baltic Sea, the Mediterranean, the Caribbean, the Gulf of Mexico, and the Atlantic ocean on the other side of the world, seen the Crown jewels of England, the crow’s nest of Shackleton’s ship, and sat on the seat where Alexander Pope rested and Walter Raleigh planned his round the world trips.  Seen the Atlas mountains, the Swiss Alps, the Sahara desert, and the Grand Canyon from the air, walked on fire, tramped along jurassic cliffs and historic tunnels, clambered through caves and grottos, travelled on planes, trains, boats and a barge, the Eurostar, a limosine and a horse & carriage in New York, in a soft-top Cadillac in Paris, a riverboat steamer, a ferry in Ireland, a gondola in Venice and a ship across the Caribbean sea, walked across historical bridges, been rock-wall climbing, para-sailing, climbed a 60′ pole and then bungeed off, had a white christmas, built a snowman in Hyde Park, and went sledding at Alexander Palace, had a cruise on the Seine and rowed on the Thames, been to the top of the Empire State Building, St Paul’s Cathedral, and the Eiffel Tower, heard the bells of Big Ben in London, St Marks Cathedral in Venice, Westminster Cathedral, Westminster Abbey, Southwark Cathedral and St Paul’s in London, St David’s in Wales, the Notre Dame in Paris, and listened to the sirens of WW2.  Stood on the most central spot of New York, Paris, London and Dublin, I’ve seen amazing sunsets in 8 countries and many more counties, and very few sunrises in any!!   I have seen world-famous paintings by VanGogh, Monet, Van Dyck, Gainsborough, Rubens and others, ancient pottery and artefacts 1,000’s of years BC, medieval art and dwellings, stood on the spot where artists like Bellini, Canneletto, Carravagio, Titian and Tintoretto stood as they splashed their paint onto church walls in Italy that still stand today.  I’ve walked through the red-light district of Amsterdam, along the decking of Horatio Nelson’s ship, through the house where Shakespeare was born, the Tower where Sir Walter Raleigh was incarcerated, seen the bed where Queen Mary was born, sat on the couch where Keats lay dying, had tea in a cafe where Princess Diana once did, walked up steps that have seen the feet of Saint Patrick, pilgrims, monks, and travellers of old, walked through ancient Monasteries and woodlands, a Masonic Temple, stood on the Meridian line and the spot where 3 English Queens were beheaded.    I’ve seen red deer, hares and foxes, painted ladies and for the first time heard a robin, a cuckoo and a blackbird sing.  I have eaten key lime pie and conch fritters in America, crepes in France, pizza in Italy, chocolate in Belgium, cheese in Amsterdam, soda bread in Ireland, Cornish ice-cream and fish and chips with mushy peas in quintessential English seaside resorts.

In these 10years I have become an aunty again for the 4th time, a great-aunt 3 times over, been to 3 weddings and one funeral (non family), lost a dearly beloved (almost) father-in-law, travelled to South Africa as a ‘visitor’ 5 times, slept in airports in 3 countries I haven’t visited, started a business and learned about MLM, internet marketing, spread betting (still haven’t figured it out), learned about personal development, the universe and being in your flow, listened to world-famous speakers and bullshitters, been on courses that have altered my perceptions and learned about values and beliefs, read ancient manuscripts and The Book of Kells, had my daughter join me in London for a holiday and end up staying 🙂 made many new friends and lost a few, fell in and out of love and almost moved to America, lived in cottages, apartments, flats, houses, mansions, a loft, a boat and a gypsy caravan (none of which were my own) and slept in a tent on The Mall.  I’ve learned how to use a mobile phone, send text messages, use a phone in a foreign country (Italy), edit photos on my computer, to blog and to tweet, written 2 books, had 3 poems and a book of photos published, I have stood up in front of a room full of people and done a presentation and yet just 10 years ago my sister in Ireland  had to coach me on how overcome my fear and to speak to people I didn’t know 🙂  Now I can and do speak to anyone, anywhere, anytime.

From one rucksack and a backpack when I left my home shores, I have during the last 10 years accumulated so much that I now have 12 suitcases, 30 boxes filled to the brim, a chest of drawers, a rebounder, books by the dozen and mementoes galore, a postcard collection to rival any other and so much stuff that I now need a storage unit to store it all.   And in my heart I have stored some of the most amazing sights, sounds, memories and experiences.

I have done more in the last 10 years than I did in the preceeding 46, and as I write I marvel at the journey it took to reach this anniversary, and dream with anticipation of the possible journeys that still lie ahead.

I am one of the luckiest people in the world. Long may the journey and the adventures continue.

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….it surely feels like I have fallen down the rabbit hole this last few weeks.  Like Alice I have taken a tumble, met some weird and wonderful chracters, visited a marvellous garden and had some surreal experiences!

So a few weeks ago (gosh is it 3weeks already!) I started a new job.  It was really strange working in an office again and I am still getting used to having a commute and a deadline to be at work.  In my previous job, I lived in, so my commute was 2 minutes and no deadline.   Working in the office also means I have my evenings free (what’s left of them after I finish at 7pm and get home at 8pm!)

my 8pm commute 🙂

and my weekends….now that’s the cherry on the top of this particular cake.  The weekend.  No more working on weekends!  What a treat.

Last week on Tuesday I arrived at my current accommodation which in the event turned out to be a gypsy caravan and not the spare-room.  Marvellous.  What a pleasure it has been to wake up in the morning to the sounds of the river waking up; geese honking and bickering, seagulls sqwarking, ducks quaking, dozens of birds in the tree next door tweeting ( 🙂 ) away, the odd boat or two phutt phutting down the river, marvellous!!!!

phuttphutting down the river

The week has gone quickly and I have mostly had the office to myself, which has been great.  Learning lots and getting to grips with being in an office again.  Not enjoying the environment though and last week I got a couple of real shirty emails form the big cahuna…..hmmmm, if that is a precursor for the future then I think my stay will likely be shorter rather than longer.  We shall see.

So anyhow, the week whizzed by and yesterday I was able to say TGIF!!!! hooray.  When I got back to the house I was invited to stay for supper, and it was delicious.  Sausage pot with lots of vegetables.  So we were sitting around chatting and then they (my landlords and a friend who was staying over) wanted to go out so I ended up babysitting.  Cool.  Mind you the little poppet was sleeping so I never even got to see her really.

I trotted off to bed at about midnight and snuggled into my cosy little caravan and before long was fast asleep.  I am sleeping better than I have for a very long time and it is marvellous.  So this morning (Saturday) I wake up and lying in bed still snug and warm, I looked out the window and to my sheer amazement I saw a kingfisher land on the branch of the tree outside the door. Whooo!!! how fantastic.  After a short while I got up (mother nature was calling) and went to unlock the door!!! No luck. ???

I was like what!!! you godda be kidding me!!! I spent about 10 minutes trying to unlock the door, but to no avail.  One of the tumblers had fallen half way down & I couldn’t even get the key in!!!  hahahaha.   So then a wee bit of a panic set in…the landlords left early in the  morning for a weekend away! hahahaha.  I would have been ok for food, I had bought in supplies on Friday, and I had my computer for  company, I had a bottle of water…….but……????   You get it right? hmmm.  So I phoned the landlords…their phone was off..left a message anyways.  Then I phoned my friend (it’s her sisters house) and woke her up with ‘HELP!!’  Then I remembered the friend whose kiddie I had babysat the night before was sleeping over…maybe she was still here.  I phoned her number…no reply….left a desperate message (by now it was getting a tad desperate) and then phoned my friend for the house number.  She didn’t have it.  So tried the lass who was sleeping over (I wasn’t even sure she was still here) and vóila she answered…..SaveMySoul…or more like s.m.a!! hahahha

So she was still here (whew) and came trotting down to open the door.  Yay!!! Not sure what I will do tonight, but whatever it is I won’t be locking the door!

So the little poppet I babysat last night was up and we got to chatting.  She is 4 and half years old and a real treasure.  We have had the most interesting conversations, about witches turning little girls into rabbits, spiders eating flies, why geese honk, how come people row backwards,

why do people row backwards?

why I don’t think it’s a good idea to sit on a dog, how to whistle by sucking in air, being asked if I am old (?) err…truthfully??, about why my hair is white on top and brown down the sides, can I understand french and do I know what aurevoir means, why I have eeyore on my pyjamas, why I am living in the caravan, about school and reading and computers and phones….you know the usual chitter chatter of a 4year old.  Absolutely marvellous.

a little poppet

We climbed the tree (well ok she did; I helped), hung over the edge of the wall to see whats below (not too sure Mum would like that after all it’s 30 feet down and there is a mucky brown river below), swung on the hammock and I had my nails filed by a wee beautician.  All the while a running commentary of questions and answers.  There is something very special about spending a few hours in the company of a child.  They bring an innocence to life that gest forgotten as we get older and caught up in the maelstrom of being an adult.

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A few weeks ago my daughter, who has recently joined a meet-up group called U-Dare, told me she had signed up to go skydiving!! Wow, fantastic.  Thats something I have yet to do, it is on the very long list of adventure sports I have yet to try….like zip-lining (really want to do that!) and white-water rafting.  I’ve been paragliding (we both went back in South Africa when CJ was about 15), wev’e been abseiling, I’ve been para-sailing (in the Bahamas about 7 years ago), caving (in my teens), and all sorts of other stuff, so when she told me she was going skydiving in Spain, I was way envious.

skydiving in Spain (this is not her obviously) 🙂 pic from http://www.emocionday.com/en/skydive-spain

The days rushed by and before we knew it the time had come for her to leave and in a flurry of packing and sorting she left on Thursday night with the group.  Much bubbling excitement and texts in CAPITAL letters!!! her excitement was palpable.   I was trepiditious to say the least, not that I was worried about the skydiving but at the back of my mind was the knowledge that she suffers from recurring blackouts.  We had not discussed this and I managed to push it firmly to the back of my mind….. until the time came for her to go up!

She had a safe flight to Spain and I got a considerate text to say the the first landing had gone well and they were in Spain.  Great, enjoy!  So yesterday morning (the day of the jump) I get a very early morning text to say: ‘yay! we’re on our way!’ and then ‘we’re here, cant wait I’m so EXCITED!!!’ and then….like a punch to the chest…. ‘Buga, cant do it if I don’t have a Doctors note to say it’s ok coz of the blackouts’ – what should I do?”  Uhmm, your’e asking me?  It’s your call honey.  So after many texts and a hurried conversation, she decided to go for it anyway.  Hmmm, the mommy side of me was screaming…don’t do it!! the Cindy side of me was like – go for it!.  So she did! eeekk.

Making a decision to just do it, she signed on the dotted line and got ready to go.  By now I was a trembling mess of nerves; shaking from head to toe I remonstarted again to PLEASE text me IMMEDIATELY you get down….but hey! have a fabulous time and enjoy.  God, my nerves were shattered, but I didn’t want to be a dash of cold water on what was meant to be a fun weekend, albeit that every fibre of my being was wanting to say don’t go!!

Then I got a text to say… ‘eeekkkk me next!’ and then I really started shaking.  I was on the verge of tears and desperate to say “don’t go!”.  Instead I texted my sister in SA and distracted myself that way.  After what seemed like hours, but was in reality just under an hour I finally got a text to say she was back down and “I LOVED it…I want to go again!!!” Geez girlie.  Your old ma is just about having a nervous breakdown after one jump and you want to go again….spare me!!

So she got down in one piece, although the initial part of the jump was marred by the most terrible pain in her sinus’s, so much so that she couldn’ t life her head and screamed blue murder for the first 200feet, but once the chute opened and they started floating, the pain went away and she got to enjoy, what she says, ‘is the most beautiful sight you could imagine’.  The earth looks so beautiful from 13,000 feet apparently!  Hmmm, well I shall have to see for myself now won’t I.  But by golly I was glad she was back on terra-firma.  So, I exhorted her to please keep in touch and send me regular text messages to say all is well.   I was still very concerned about the blackouts and that she may have one later on in the day.  (what she didn’t tell me in the morning was that she had already had one since arriving the night before)…dear Lord!!!  thankfully you didn’t tell me before now.

So last night while I was babysitting I sent a message to ask if all was well….no reply. ???  So I sent another to ask ‘please text me when you get home, I guess your’e probably out with the group having a good time. Just text me when you home that your’e ok…I will leave the phone on during the night.

Nothing!!! So this morning when I woke just after 6am, I jumped out of bed to check if any message had come through during the night …nada!!! 😦  My stress levels went through the roof!  I got back into bed and was just saying in my head: ‘please, please, please text me’ when hooray…..a text came through.  Whew!!  All was well, she had a very bad sinus headache and went to be at 6.30 pm the night before.  So all my texts had gone unnoticed coz she was sleeping.

I was so thankful to hear from her this morning, and to hear that all was well.  I had tried to be really disciplined about keeping my imagination under check.   Sometimes it’s really hard being a mother.   It’s like you want your kids to get out and experience life to the full, but at the same time you want to hold them close and keep them safe.

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