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London Eye 31.12.2010 London

Hi folks, thanks so much for dropping by. I trust you don’t mind that I brought you to my blog for a New Year message, but twitter doesn’t have sufficient space that I can convey what I would like to say. 🙂

Firstly I would like to wish you all a very very happy, successful and wonderful year ahead, I truly hope that it fulfils any dreams, hopes, wishes and aspirations you have for 2011.

Then I would very much want to say a huge thank you for your friendship during 2010. Whether we’ve only just connected, or if you have been my ‘friend’ for a while now, I have enjoyed our brief communiques. You have brightened my days with your messages and brought a smile to my lips with your tweets and mentions, and on many occassions made me LOL and from time to time I have even ROFL!!! – Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves. J M Barrie

Despite outward appearances I live a very secluded and limited life. My job is very isolating at times and the demands placed on me are great so your messages on #followfriday #traveltuesday or #justbecause you are thinking of me have been a lifeline to the real world.

I have gotten to know some folk a little better than others and we have learned a wee bit about each others lives – how fascinating it is to get these little glimpses into another world. I have travelled ‘virtually’ to far-flung corners of the world: Alaska, Australia, Mexico, New Zealand, China, just about all the states of America, France, Italy, South Africa, The Whitsundays, north of Scotland, closer to home in London and many countries, fascinating glimpses into your world, by reading your blogs, clicking on the links you’ve posted and just our general ‘chats’ have opened windows into the world that I may never have had otherwise.

I took to twitter like a duck to water (excuse the not so very good pun) 🙂 twitter has opened up my world in ways I could never have imagined when I first started, and that is thanks to each of you; your tweets and comments, links and @mentions have brought the world to me. Facebook has been fun with messages and comments, status updates and links to photo albums – photos of your travels are most appreciated. I have enjoyed sharing my life in London, posting photos and writing arbitrary posts on my blog about places I have explored and experiences I have had.

And now this year is at an end and we have 2011 to look forward to, so in closing I would once again like to say how very much I appreciate your friendship, your messages and tweets and although we are far apart in miles, we are close to heart in tweets, so in 2011 do stay in touch and lets continue to enjoy our friendships, I wish you all a good night and some marvellous days for the 365 we have of 2011…….and do remember…. according to the Mayans the world is due to end 2012 (????) so make the most of 2011……

hahahaha!! 🙂 have fun folks

True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice. Samuel Johnson

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Today I met up with my younger brother and sister-in-law K&T, who were in transit to Hungary (where they live) from (South Africa where his and my family live) after spending a few weeks in SA on holiday.

We met up at a wee pub at London Bridge station and enjoyed a cuppa and a nibble.  I have not seen them for some years now and again I am amazed at how the time flies.  It never really seems like a long time because we communicate via facebook and email, so you are more or less aware of whats happening in their lives (family & friends), so when you meet it feels like only yesterday you last met up!

We chatted about various things; like what I am up to in London and what they are up to in Hungary and then my brother gave me a ‘Dr Who’ type jolt back into the past…..and I am talking distant past here!!! (you know you are getting old when you talk about things that happened decades ago!)  We have a pretty muddled family with loads of marriages and remarriages which brought with them half brothers and half sisters as well as step sisters and step brothers! One would like to think it was one big happy family…..

The jolt came in the form of some photos!  As he said, how on earth they came to be in his possession is a total mystery, the reasons for that being way too long to explain, suffice to say the photos were of one branch of the family whereas he is from another (it is as complicated as it sounds).

Anyhow to get to the point (sorry I do tend to waffle)……amongst the photos he showed me, were some photos of when I was a wee girl of 11 years old! My god! Did that ever bring back a flood of memories.  In the photos are me (11yrs), my younger sister (8yrs), my cousin (12yrs), my stepsister (10yrs) from my mother’s 2nd husband and my baby half-sister (approx 9/10months) from that same marriage.

I was absolutely flabergasted and it was a real trip down memory lane to see us all……5 little girls looking so happy and sweet in the photo with not a clue as to the future………..and what a good thing that was too.  Anyhow here is the photo.

from left to right: Felicity (step-sister), at the back Yvonne (cousin) on her lap my baby sister (Jo-anne), me in pink and then Susan (my only full sister)

what I do find most amusing about this photo are the cars in the background. Did they really look like that! how bizarre. What struck me too is how very sixties my outfit is and even at the tender age of 11years old I was already crossing my legs….a most annoying habit and one that has done me no favours!   What is also quite funny is the look on my sister Susan’s face….the wee blondie on the right…..she is in a dress!!!! Heaven forbid….she hated wearing dresses and my mother used to make her wear them…coz after all she is a girl.  hahahaha. Now….if you want to get her into a dress you would have to drug her! 🙂

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Ever since I have lived in the UK I have loved winter.  I love how the days get colder and colder as autumn creeps nearer and nearer to winter, how the wind comes up and blows all the leaves asunder, scattering them far and wide.

leaves scattered far and wide

I love the smell of leaves burning as gardeners tidy up after autumns fall, how the trees look without their summer dresses, how their arms reach skywards; beseechingly, achingly.  How the birds nests become more apparent without the leaves to hide them.  I love how the wild birds and squirrels run about looking for food, digging their noses into hidey holes from the summer.  I love how the days shorten and the nights draw in earlier and earlier,

as the nights draw in......5pm mid November

a perfect backdrop for the gay christmas lights that brighten the dark nights with their cheery colours. I love the anticpation of wondering if there will be snow…..and when! I love it when you wake one day and the world is white, a sparkling pure white that covers the world…the air hushed and still.

and then it snowed!

I love the early mornings when you pop your head out from under the duvet

popping your head out from under the covers

and its freezing and you scurry back beneath the covers.  I love the icy cold that makes you hop up and down, the chill in the seconds between getting undressed and diving under a hot shower….goosebumps scurrying up and down your body as you shiver and laugh with the thrill of the cold. I love the sounds of the laughter as kiddies fly screaming down snowy slopes, precariously seated on bright yellow or red or blue sleds, with either Mom or Dad waiting at the bottom or maybe even hugging them close as they whizz along slippery slopes.   I love the winter colours; purple, red, burgundy, emerald green – the clothes we pile on in an effort to keep warm before we venture outdoors; scarves wrapped tightly and caps pulled down in an effort to keep the cold air at bay.  I love the seasonal activities; halloween, bonfire night,

Guy Fawkes - Bonfire night

thanksgiving, christmas….all seem more appropriate in colder climes. I love how the air ghosts up as you breathe out on a freezing cold morning, the thrill of a warm indoors after a quick walk to the store…that tingling feeling as warmth creeps slowly through your bones…a painful albeit comforting ache.  I love how people stamp their feet to keep warm, how folks laugh more in winter coz of the cold that makes you jump about.  Then the first advertisement of Starbucks ‘Gingerbread Latte’ and you know that winter has arrived

starbucks

Gingerbread Latte at Starbucks...winter is here 🙂

And what I love most of all are the layers….the layers of clothes we pull on before we venture outdoors… no such thing as popping quickly out the door….

layer 2 - a camisol and tights

layer 3 - a top and socks

layer 4 - a jumper and trousers

layer 5 - jacket and shoes

layer 6 - and an extra pair of thick socks

(no! I didn’t forget layer 1 – like Victoria, a girl has gotta have some secrets 🙂 )

and then just before it gets tiresome, before you get sick of the cold and dark; I love the anticipation of spring….knowing that all that has died will soon come to life…the first buds of May as they peep through their protective winter covering, the snowdrops that look for all the world like a fresh shower of snow, the tulips

bright colours of spring

and daffodils that thrust boldly towards the light; brightening a dull day with their fabulous colours, then suddenly the blossoms appear

blossoms amidst the green

and and slowly slowly the trees form a sheen of green, and the days lengthen getting longer and longer….

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Social Media has it’s uses!  On Saturday this weekend I met up with someone who was my best friend in high school….aeons ago! (Sorry Chez) 🙂

still friends even after all these years

Someone I had known when I was 12 years old, which also means I now count my memories in decades rather than years….. LOL! or not!!!
We last saw each other 22years ago back in South Africa just before she and her husband came to live in the UK and I went to live in Cape Town.  Prior to that we had last seen each other in 1971. Now I am living in the UK and they are back in SA! How bizarre, how bizarre!
After that last meeting, we lost touch as you sometimes do, and over the years I often thought of her and wondered where she was and what she was doing.
I joined facebook some years back and as you do you put up various details etc etc. One day out of the blue I got a message asking if I was the Cindy who went to Dawnview High? And of course yes, it was me! And there she was; after all these years.
So we messaged each other from time to time and emailed, catching up on news across the years. A couple of months ago I got a message to say she was visiting the UK this month and was it possible to meet up? Of course it was and so we did….on Saturday! How awesome. And how brilliant is social media! 🙂
It was amazing to see her again and sadly the 2 hours I had free disappeared in a wink and we hardly had time to really catch up before I had to go.  Plans are now in the pipe-line for a longer visit when I am in SA next year.
This meeting has had a odd effect on me, and after I said goodbye, and on the way home I mused to myself how strange this life is, and how weird it is coming face to face with your past and how much has changed since those days.
I think it was the comment she made about how we had known each other when we were 12 years old that triggered all sorts of emotions and memories.  One of the memories of course relates to our relationship when we were 12 years old and until we were 16 which is the last time I saw her prior to that meeting many years later.
We were very naughty young girls and one of my clearest memories of our friendship is travelling home from school on the bus.  As do all naughty children we sat right at the back of the bus and caused mayhem, on one occassion the driver stopped the bus and made us get off 🙂 mmm you get the picture.  I also reminded her of one day that we were laughing so much that when I got off the bus I had to hang onto the pole at the busstop to keep upright and to my everlasting hysteria wet my pants and walked home with squelchy shoes (I will leave that to your imagination). My Mother was totally unimpressed.
Strangely enough, one of the thoughts that ran through my mind on the way home on Saturday, was what would my adult self say to my 12 year-old self. I guess there would be many things, but two that spring to mind with immediate clarity would be to not get married so young (17 in my case) and secondly would be to have a plan for my life.
Of course there are many other memories, some good, some very bad and some just lovely.  But that is not for now!
Wonderful to see you my friend. I look forward to next year and having more time to catch up 🙂

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A. a dead turtle.

As harsh as that is, that’s not the worst of it. I follow myEARTH360 on twitter since I am keenly interested in the future of our planet and in taking a stand against plastic, especially plastic bags, (5billion p.a. and counting) as well as keeping track of whats going on in the world of the ecology.  It is one of my ‘rants’ as you may have noticed from a previous post.  🙂

On facebook today I noticed one of their posts, and followed through to sign the relevant petition, http://greenhouseneutralfoundation.org/articles/2009/12/15/stoplasticbags-a-global-petition-to-ban-the-bag-3/

and reading these stats has given me a jolt:

Some of the ugly facts: plastic bags

•Once brought into existence to tote your purchases, they’ll accumulate and persist on our planet for up to 1,000 years.
•The U.S. goes through 100 billion plastic shopping bags annually. An estimated 12 million barrels of oil is required to make that many plastic bags. That’s more than 1,200 bags per US resident, per year. Four out of five grocery bags in the US are now plastic.
•The average family accumulates 60 plastic bags in only four trips to the grocery store.
•Australia, a country of only some 22 million or so, consumes about 6.9 billion plastic bags each year, that’s 326 per person. According to Australia’s Department of Environment, an estimated 49,600,000 annually end up as litter.
Every single piece of plastic ever manufactured is still on the planet.
It is in use, intact in landfills, as windblown litter, and also toxically contaminating global river systems and oceans.
•There is an estimated 46,000 pieces of plastic in each square mile of ocean. Plastic bags cause over 100,000 sea turtle and other marine animal deaths every year when animals mistake them for food.
•There are 39,600 deaths of children around the world who die from asphyxiation from plastic bags.
•There are over 3,300 deaths of children each year in the US alone who die from asphyxiation from plastic bags.
•WSJ Target, the second-largest retailer in the U.S., purchases 1.8 billion bags a year. In the U.S. alone $4 billion per year is spent by retailers giving away free plastic bags.

http://icountformyearth.wordpress.com/2010/10/20/yikes-could-plastic-take-over-our-oceans/

Most assuredly it is our responsibility to do something about this. This is our only home, we can’t buy a new planet, and just as much as the science community and others would like to set up ‘home’ on another planet….that is not in the forseeable future.  By the time they do get to do that…..we will most likely have killed off most of our precious sealife as well as birdlife.  And this is not counting all the other terrible things we inflict on this planet eg destroying forests etc.

OK, so I am not going to continue here coz my bloodpressure is going up.  All I am asking is that whoever reads this blog, takes a stand… it’s like the starfish on the beach  story….. you can’t save them all, but it will make a difference to the one that gets thrown back in; the creatures that don’t get to swallow plastic bags will get to live!!!!  They won’t know the difference, but we do!

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Last week I had a few days of much needed rest and relaxation!  aka a few days off! Although I was ok to stay in the house whilst off duty it was my preference to head on over to spend some time with my daughter on the other side of London.  A lovely side of London if I may say. Initially I was meant to travel through on Thursday and stay till Sunday but she suggested that since I was free would I attend a presentation that she was conducting at the Westminster Library in Leicester Square.   She has been giving these presentations for some months now about Social Media and whilst I often get to preview them online and edit them beforehand, I had not yet actually seen the ‘Angel’ in action!  Since I was on leave and technically free I accepted the invitation with alacrity and delight.

So with a smile on my face and my packed bags trailing behind me (they are well trained) – I made my way to Leicester Square.  I was amazed to find that the square was lit up with the Xmas fair already firmly established and lighting up the night sky (I will blog about that on 3 days in London.info).  It was quite dark by then and the first thing I did was grab my camera (of course) and hanging onto my bag I whizzed around the square snapping away.  I love the seasonal events that happen in London and although winter is a long and hard slog of cold, wet and windy days (much like a baby’s nappy) I love how beautiful everything looks with all the lights that are draped everywhere for Xmas and the carousel looked fab!

the faire comes to Leicester Square

Then, avoiding the crowds, I slipped down the narrow lane that leads to the library.  Eagerly anticipating the event; I was not disappointed. The ‘New Media Angel’ is a genius and an excellent presenter.  Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the evening and even though I had pretty much seen the material beforehand, still I was totally engaged and learned a lot.  It fascinates me just how much knowledge she has and how entertaining she is; keeping you totally involved the whole time.

Unbeknownst to the audience she was in fact not very well and during the Q&A afterwards collapsed with a blackout and we then made a very unwanted trip to St Thomas’s hospital for a thorough check up.   It amazes me just how long patients are kept in ‘the system’.  We could probably have left at least 3 hours before they finally discharged her.  I applaud the ambulance services who were there in no time at all and tended to her without fault; kindly and gentle.  The hospital staff were lovely and then we met the Doctor!!! What an eejit!  Bear in mind please that he is a Doctor and that we have a huge problem with MRSA in this country due to lack of hygiene in our hospitals.  He popped his head around the curtain and without further ado and no introduction he proceeded to draw blood.  First attempt was painful and unsuccessful and it is beyond my comprehension why he tried to draw it from her wrist!  So off he goes to get a 2nd set of blood-drawing equipment and without washing his hands or swabbing her arm he set about trying to draw a sample. STOP!!!!!! The first time around I had not noticed what he was doing, but 2nd time around I was horrified to note that not only was he poking at her arm to raise a vein with his bare finger; his bare unwashed finger but he had not swabbed her arm with the usual cleanser!!! I was like….’Hello! arent you supposed to clean her arm first?’ and then the eejit (I could use a much stronger word here but I won’t batter your sensitive ears) says ‘Oh! yes I suppose so’ and off he goes to find a swab!  U.N.B.E.L.I.E.V.A.B.L.E!! I was ready to give him a slap.  Anyways, he takes the blood and I’m getting ready to give the Doctor an account of this useless individual when he minces back in and says ‘ Hello, I am your Doctor’.

Geez!!! My jaw hit the floor.  Anyways long story short they did all sort of tests and finally let us out the zoo. It is of great concern to me that despite the bottles of readily handy bottles of anti-bacterial gels and the notices everywhere about the ward, warning patients and staff to ‘WASH YOUR HANDS’ this numbskull did not!  No wonder that patients end up contracting the nasty MRSA virus!  Anyhow, finally they discharged her and we hailed a cab to whisk us off through the dark and quiet streets and at just after 4am we reached home and to bed.  Thereafter I lost a day….not physically but mentally.  I do not know where the day went or even how the day went except to say that not only did I forget to phone as friend as arranged but I also completely forgot to phone my sister for her birthday…only remembering late on the day! 😦

But what a delight it was to see my daughter’s new home, to walk about the neighbourhood and discover new places.  The next day, we went into London by train for a business meeting,

off to London by train

which was great fun and I got to do a 60second presentation on 3 Days in London which was pretty cool.  I love those kind of meetings; the members all do such interestings jobs or have such interesting companies and the food was good! Yummy. Then I headed off to Marble Arch to take photos for my blog and to just meander about town to see if I could discover something new….and I did!  I strolled along a street in Marylebone and discovered a quiet square just off Great Cumberland Place with a beautiful memorial to someone, someone whom after reading the inscription, I think should have a far more prominent position in town. Roaul Wallenberg who saved 230,000 jews from the Nazi war machine.

Raoul Wallenberg

Thereafter we, me and CJ met up and headed back home and settled in for a night of R&R and TV.  Next day I managed to drag myself out of bed at a decent hour and headed off to Teddington for a tweetup with Guide2Richmond aka Patriona, and a friend of hers and their kiddies at the most delightful ‘Happy Potter’ tearoom for chat and tea.  The Happy Potter is just lovely; a bright and airy venue where you can take the kiddies along to paint and decorate different pottery items, perhaps a xmas gift for granddad or nana  or something fun for Mum or Dad.  A terrific place to happily enjoy an hour or two.  There is a couch there with my name on it….. I will be back!! 🙂

a couch with my name on it.... at the Happy Potter

After tea I went walkabout to explore the town.  Teddington is pretty much a duplicate of many towns in the UK, towns that have seen history come and go, Kings and Queens, Popes and Princes, plague and pestilence.  Breaking with tradition the high street is named ‘Broad Street’ but in keeping with other towns and villages, is lined with all the usual High Street shops: clothes, food, greengrocer, florists, hairdressers, toyshops, a butcher, a baker, no candlestick makers but plenty of little charity or antique shops, banks, pubs and restaurants and to my delight….Greggs!!  yay…lunch. Although my diet is primarily meat free I have a weakness for Greggs sausage rolls.  They are delicious, most likely laden with enough salt for a week, but quite delicious.  Fortunately I only get to eat these yummy bits of unhealthy food about 1x a month….so hopefully no harm done.

I continued my march about and whizzed along the winding road and passed the usual little church tucked away behind a hedgerow, the yard dotted about with ancient headstones and memorials, timeless reminders of folk long gone, and in many instances largely forgotten.  I love to wander though the churchyards and read the inscriptions, some of which are mostly invisible with just the occassional name or date still readable.  It is always so sad to read how in some instances whole families die within months of each other or to see the name of a beloved child that died within a few days or weeks of birth.

St Mary with St Alban Church - Teddington

The key to visiting these villages/towns is to walk just off the main street where you can find some fascinating cottages or houses that date from the 1800’s or even as far back as 1500’s, and Teddington was no different. 

Peg Woffington Cottage - 1753

 Closer to the river – the Thames flows nearby, I found a row of delightful fishermens cottages, one of which had been converted into a pub with a history. 

The Tide End Cottage - pub on the banks of the River Thames at Teddington

 I took a quick walk across the suspension bridge that spans the water at what is known as Teddington Lock. A short walk along the other side, just because….and then I made my way back into town and along the way passed a magnificent church designed in the French Gothic style by architect William S Niven.

Landmark Art Centre - formely the Church of St Alban the Martyr - Teddington

Formerly the Church of St Alban the Matyr, after years of neglect and vandalism, this magnificent structure has been restored, listed as Grade II and converted into an art centre – Landmark Arts Centre.

Walking through the churchyard I was lucky enough to pass the side door as someone else exited…..and without qualm I slipped through the open door and into the church for a quick exploration. What a gorgeous interior; a lofty ceiling that soars skywards, beautiful stained-glass windows and dark corners make for an interesting visit. 

lofty ceilings that soar to the sky and colourful stained glass windows

 I had my camera in hand and despite that there were a number of people about, no-one even glanced my way. Probably thought I was there for a local paper or something 🙂  When I went to the office to ask for historical literature, was the first anyone queried how I got in and informed me very politely that the church was actually closed……..yeah!!!! Too late. haha!  The evening was spent with a friend of hers from way back when for supper at a lovely restaurant in Richmond.  The waitress was superb, the food was good and the company great.  After the meal, leaving what was by now a very noisy restaurant and venturing out into the chilly evening we strolled along the banks of the Thames and wandered around town then headed home on our god-given transport 🙂 It is but a short walk from there to there.

The next day was spent just relaxing and chatting with some business planning to be done.  So off out into the chilly air in the afternoon we had a quick walk to Sweetie Pies where we enjoyed the yummy cupcakes and a pot of tea and plenty of laughs. 

cupcakes at Sweetie Pies

At 5pm we got turned out; nicely….. of course, and took a very short walk along the river to photograph the river.

that lazy ole river just keeps rolling along....

 …it was too darn cold for a longer walk, then home for supper and more R&R…. hey I was on holiday! 🙂 Along the way we discovered an old cemetery and not to leave any stone unturned (joke) we enjoyed a few minutes wandering about and reading up on the history.

1800's cemetery

Back home, it was supper ‘a la Cindy’of braised sausages, mushrooms and mash with rich thick gravy, then we settled in for a night of Strictly Come Dancing and X-factor; a late night topped off with a hug then off to dreamland.  I slept on the couch in the lounge and snuggled into the cusions and so to sleep….mmmm or not!  The blokes upstairs were really noisy and clomped around the room above till 3am in the morning!

Next day was an opportunity for me to just laze about in bed and read……a rare treat!  We had planned to take a walk to the deer park but the day was chilly and the house was cozy, so we didnt get very far….a late breakfast was enjoyed and then we got stuck into some strategy and planning for 3 Days in London.  Brilliant. Finally got the bones of a plan on paper. And so to home and back to work….on duty from 11:30 this morning I am already missing my freedom.

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Halloween at Sweetie Pies in Twickenham

Yesterday my daughter and I went to Sweetie Pies Boutique Bakery in Twickenham to do some strategy planning for her business (just an excuse really to partake of the cupcakes 🙂 ).  Sweetie Pies as you have probably gathered is one of my favourite places to visit when I am out this way….their cupcakes are heavenly and the store is quaint and adorable.
Yesterday was no exception and when we arrived I noticed the cutest cupcakes on display for Halloween.

Sweetie Pies cupcakes in Twickenham

In fact why not head out to Twickenham for Halloween in Church Street this coming Saturday 30th.  They are marking the event with a host of goodies and fun entertainment for all the family.
Sweet Memories will have face-painting from 12 midday and a trick and treat corner, all for £3.50 per child.
Sweetie Pies often host themed events and with Halloween coming up they are planning a Cupcake decorating day on Saturday 30th October. The workshops take place in the Sweetie Pies creepy courtyard (weather permitting) between 4-5pm (ages 4-7) and 5.30-6.30pm (ages 7-12) for £12.

Spook-tastic Halloween cupcake decorating at Sweetie Pies

Langtons will be holding a Spooky Story time from 2pm in the childrens section – Free.    In The Square you will be able to enjoy the witches scene from Macbeth performed by the Mary Wallace Theatre. There will be apple-bobbing from 5.30pm and a Fancy Dress Competition at 6pm with prizes for the scariest costume.
The Fox will be hosting the Eel Pie Pirates; a live local band from 8.30pm onward. So go on down and enjoy their grooves.

We had a most enjoyable couple of hours at Sweetie Pies; chatting, planning and drinkings copious cups of tea. Being autumn, the days tend to darken rather early so by 5pm when the shop closed we headed down to the river for a stroll along the riverside.  The stroll only lasted about 5 minutes….it was too darn cold, so quickly taking a few photos of the setting sun over the river,

sunset on the Thames at Twickenham

 we then made our way back to St Margaret’s which is where she is now living.  On the way we passed an old, now disused 19th Century cemetery and slipped through the massive wrought-iron gates for a look around. 

19th century cemetery

 Although the cemetery was closed in 1955, generations of people living in Twickenham have ancestors buried there. Here you will also find buried contemporaries of Nelson and Wellington as well as a grave from the First World War.  The cemetery is now a haven to a multitude of wildlife; a tawny owl, squirrels, foxes, pipstrells, the great spotted woodpecker and many other smaller birds.  A suitable venue for the season.

autumn

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Fable of the porcupine
It was the coldest winter ever –  many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together.  This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other. After a while they decided to distance themselves one from the other but they began to die, alone and frozen.

So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or die from the cold. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. This way they learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companions, but most important, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive. 

porcupines living together

Moral of the story:
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the best is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person’s good qualities.

picture 1) from: http://www.treknature.com/gallery/Africa/Namibia/photo158745.htm

picture 2) from: rachelleannemiller.com

story: compliments of my sister via email 🙂

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Yesterday was the first day of the rest of her life.  I always find that to be such a strange expression ‘today is the first day of the rest of my life; your life; her life; his life’……… What does it mean exactly?  Isn’t every day the first day of the rest of your life?

Yesterday someone; a very special someone woke up on the day that was to be the first day of the rest of her life….she had closed a door behind her the day before and that stage of her life was no more. All that’s left is the pain of seperation.

It’s a strange thing; seperation… it’s like a little death really.  In life we go through many seperations, a child starting school for the first time feels the pain of seperating from it’s Mother and very often the Mother feels the pain too, or the loss of a pet, a grandparent leaving this life, a teenager breaking up with their first love, leaving school, quitting a job and so many other situations of seperation.

You move on from something that is familiar, maybe comfortable, possibly not.  Sometimes seperation is forced on you, and sometimes you initiate that seperation yourself.  And if you do, is it any less painful?

A few months ago, my daughter made and took what was a momentous decision in her life, not a unique decision by any means, but certainly unique to her.  After 4 years and and 2 months of marriage she made the decision to move on from a situation that was causing her a great deal of pain, becoming stifling and had changed her personality from one of bubbly and outgoing, to sad and introspective.

And although seperation is not unique, and marriages break up all the time, this seperation was the death of her dreams; the dreams she had on the day she got married – the children she had envisaged, the home she thought they would have, the experiences they would share, the places they would go and the prospect of growing old with the man she loved; all died on that day.

The pain of that seperation has been great.  The decision to make the move was a tremendous strain and the actual day of moving was traumatic.  And although she knows and knew at the time that the decision was the right one, still the pain it caused herself and her husband has had a heavy toll.  The ripples of seperation linger on.

And when a marriage breaks up, what of the other people involved?  The families of the couple – people you will never see again, the grandchildren that will now not be, the pain of a mother watching her child hurting and feeling helpless in the face of that pain, trying to find the right words, wishing to take it on herself and spare her child, yet knowing that it’s not possible, so trying to just be there and pray that with the fullness of time it will ease.

And it does, the pain of seperation eases, sometimes it take a while, maybe months, perhaps years, and yet as life goes on and new experiences occur, the pain eventually becomes a dull ache and then one day you notice it’s gone, the phone calls become positive again, the tears are less and as the pain of seperation begins to lessen, the bubbly person you once knew slowly starts to resurface, the self-confidence begins to return and then……

…..with the fullness of time a new door opens, a new love, new experiences, new dreams and so that day becomes the first day of the rest of your life.

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I realise this is a week late….but hey, it’s my blog 🙂

Last week, Britain saw and complained and complained, about the visit of the head of the Catholic Church to our shores, (how boring life would be if there was nothing to complain about!)  Initially when this news first hit our papers, I was like well… so what?!  What’s all the fuss about?  It was splashed across the papers, some folk were way excited about it, others were complaining about that we had to pay for it (I would rather pay for that than for some greedy politician to go buy a duck-house for his pond!), about how he, the Pope, had swept the paedophile issues under the carpet and not dealt with them properly and about why did he have to come here anyway and blah, blah blah!  It’s sells papers!

Initially I just took a passing interest, then watching the news, I saw about how the Duke of Edinburgh broke with tradition and greeted him at the airport, saw how this man with the lovely smile descended the stairs, and how tiny he is, and suddenly my interest was piqued.  Here is this man, a short little guy, well into his 80’s who should be at home with his feet up in his parlour, relaxing and enjoying his old age….who in reality commands a massive institution, a man who has a profound influence on the world and whose word sways millions of people……  And that sudden realisation amazed me.   Plus he has a bank balance greater than my mind could possibly conceive (they have a point about us paying for it!)

I guess when it is nearer to home it makes a difference.  In Rome he is hundreds of miles away…a figure in a robe on the box, and he doesn’t seem real.  But now that he was on home shores; I found myself getting caught up in all the excitement and bemoaned the fact that I was unable to attend any of the events in London – mmmhhh.   But, I was glued to the TV when they showed the various events around the country and I found myself totally caught up in the excitement of it all.  I was particularly enchanted that he was coming to London (how absurd).  It was particularly fantastic to me when he visited Westminster Abbey…  it represented reconciliation, acceptance of another’s beliefs and how they conduct that belief, it represented humility… he the Pope, head of the Catholic Church, a far more powerful and influential institution than the Church of England, was humble enough to step into the Abbey and worship on the grounds of a different, albeit similar faith.  I also mused at the time that Henry VIII was probably spinning in his grave at the temerity of it all.

I found myself loving the traditions, and the flamboyance of it all. I got all emotional watching the ceremony of ‘beatification’ of someone who was significant in his, the Pope, and others lives, and yet most people had probably never heard of John Henry Newman. I loved that he drove around in a ‘Pope mobile’… how modern 🙂  I loved when he stopped to kiss and bless the babies along the way. This was especially wonderful to witness, coz of what it meant to their parents, how overjoyed they must have been that he stopped to bless their child.  Not every kid gets to be kissed and blessed by the Pope.   The kid’s life will most likely be defined by that one moment in time…’the day the Pope kissed me’.  I would love to fast-forward 20 years and see what has become of that child…how has it affected their lives.  If their parents are particularly religious, what responsibility will they now place on the child.  It could be a blessing or a curse.   I found myself getting all tearful for the parents (yeah, go figure), how must they feel…. it was obviously important to them or they would not have held the child up.  There was one moment too on the day of the beatification – along the way he stopped the car twice to bless and kiss babies, and yet just a few yards further along, there all dressed up in a beautiful white dress was another baby…. held up in the hope of……. and he didn’t stop!!!    I cried (daft I know) for those parents, at their dismay, their disappointment, and probably their hurt and maybe even anger.  The child had obviously been dressed up especially….the outfit was of the christening kind, a lovely white, frilly dress and he didn’t even stop! I was shouting at the TV…  “No! go back, you missed that baby!”   He stopped for the other babies, why not theirs?  How did that make them feel?  How will it affect their future beliefs?   Will they carry that with them forever or will they just shrug it off and it becomes the ‘day the Pope didn’t stop to kiss you’.  Will it be talked about for generations (as these things are) and how will it then define the life of that child.

It also begs the question…..if as they say; the church is hiding paedophiles and brushes their misdemeanors under the carpet…why then allow the man who is supposedly responsible for that all to kiss your baby?  

Paedophiles are a rotten curse on society…. they should be incarcerated and never see the light of day ever again.  But, families hide these things, they hush them up, unable to face the horror that in their midst could be someone who is so vile.  It is easier to shut their eyes and deny it…they brush it under the carpet.  The church, no matter which one it is, is no different.  They are a family, he is the ‘Papa’ and they have done what most families do, they try to hide it and hide from it.  It is too horrible to face.  There are also people and families who brave the onslaught that knowledge of these things bring, and face it head on.

My question is this….. why when after all, he is just a mere mortal, ok one who is more esteemed and apparently the conduit between heaven and earth, with the ear of God on his side….why is he expected to do any differently than anyone else.   Many Priests ‘find’ their vocation and become caring, loving representatives of the church, they are good men, they teach and worship and tend to their flock.  And then there are others who use this as a means to prey on vulnerable children, there are also those who are forced through their parents and families’ wishes and desires to ‘become a Priest’.  What then makes them different to any other on earth?  How, when we as mere mortals live on a daily basis with people in our families who go on to do dreadful things to others, and we never would have guessed, how can we expect this man to know?  And how on earth can anyone expect one man to ‘know’ the mind and character of every Priest in his church.

Why are we so surprised when it is discovered that a ‘Priest’ has been found out of abusing children?  What makes them different? Is it the supposition of ‘faith’, the supposition that coz they are Priests they should be good and pure? Is it the clothes they wear, the traditions they are meant to uphold and then desecrate that makes it all the more shocking!  Or is it that they have abused their position in society?  We live on a daily basis with our friends and our families…..and we never really ‘know’ them.   It is impossible to know.  

I totally believe that paedophiles should be hung, drawn and quartered for what they do, but why do people pin all the blame on one man.  Yes he is the head of the catholic faith, yes he carries the burden of that position….but why make him the scapegoat.  The law doesn’t really take it seriously and unless a child has died as a consequence, they get a jail term and are then allowed out early for good behaviour!  Yes, they have been good….they are stuck in jail and unable to get their hands on little kiddies.  Let them out and hey ho…off they go!

So now that all the hoolabah has died down, the crazies have gone back into their cages and the Pope has gone home…what now?  What are the people who demonstrated and made such a fuss about the visit doing now?  What are the people who flocked to the events doing now?  According to statistics the number of church attendees has dropped dramatically and churches are half empty, unless you have a really charismatic Priest/Vicar or whatever.   Have these people now started attending their church again and for how long before the novelty wears off?  Have they found their faith again? Or is it just the celebrity aspect and the excitement of an outing that drew the crowds?

And what about the most contentious issue of the whole visit….paedophilia?  What are the people who demonstrated doing about it now?  What are we as a society doing about it now?   Is it up to just one man to sort it out, or is it our responsibility as a whole?

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