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Virtual Interview with Tina Games, author of Journaling by Moonlight

Posted in family and relationships, Health, Interesting articles, tagged Moonlight Moms Circle Tina Games, Personal Development, Tina Games, Tina Games journaling by the moonlight on April 24, 2011| 5 Comments »

Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 7 of the Virtual Blog Tour of author Tina M Games whose book Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother’s Path to Self-Discovery (and its accompanying deck of 54 journaling prompt cards) is celebrating its 1st birthday on Amazon on Tuesday May 3, 2011.

Journaling By The Moonlight Tina games

Author Tina M Games is certified creativity and life purpose coach. She calls herself the “Moonlight Muse” for women who want to tap into the “full moon within” and claim their authentic self, both personally and professionally. Through her signature coaching programs, based on the phases of the moon, Tina gently guides women from darkness to light as they create an authentic vision filled with purpose, passion and creative expression.

Yesterday, Tina visited Dr.Caron Goode at http://academyforcoachingparents.com/acpi/tina-games/ , where she answered about mom’s intuition, journaling enhancing intuition, techniques, self-discovery and the impatient mom advice.

Today, I’d like to share with you a recent interview I had with Tina when I got to ask her some questions on her journey to doing this work, mother’s guilt due to extended family breakdown and healing processes for mothers. I hope you enjoy it.

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Tina M Games: Thank you, Cindy, for your interest in my book, Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother’s Path to Self-Discovery and its accompanying deck of 54 journaling prompt cards.

journaling prompt cards - Tina Games, Journaling by Moonlight

I believe that mothers are a significant part of the “ripple effect” – that will transform the world into a more loving, more nurturing place. Imagine for a moment a “pebble thrown into a pond.” It creates a ripple that goes on and on and on.

When a mother is living life with complete authenticity, she’s subconsciously giving permission for her kids to do the same. She’s truly at her best – creating powerful change for her family, her community, and for the world at large. It’s all part of “the ripple.”

It’s my belief that “a happy mother makes the best mother” – and our kids really do want to see their moms happy!

Cindy Eve: What lead you to the path you are currently on?

Tina M Games: Shortly after the birth of my first child, and after making some fairly significant life changes at the same time, I fell into depression – a place that felt so foreign to me, a place where I felt like I had fallen into a black hole with no way out. It was during this time, a period that spanned over two years that I had disconnected from everything that made me happy. Because my son suffered from chronic illnesses related to serious colds and severe ear infections, I made a very difficult choice to give up a successful career in order to care for my son full-time. I hadn’t realized until this experience how much of my identity was tied into my career. I really enjoyed working. And without that opportunity in my life, I felt very lost and very unhappy.

It was during this time that I fell back on a great passion of mine – journal writing. And as a mom of a baby who did not have a normal sleep schedule, I found myself exhausted and emotional much of the time. So night after night, after I’d get my son settled and after my husband went to bed, I’d grab my journal and retreat to my favorite chair – beside a big bay window where I caught a glimpse of the moon. It was the moon that taught me the meaning of transition. I’d watch this beautiful lunar goddess, night after night, move in and out of her various phases. And before long, I began to connect her phases with my own emotional tides.

I noticed that the moon always began in darkness and gradually, she’d move into full light – and cycle back around again. And I noticed the contrast between dark and light – the darkness of the night sky against the beautiful full moon light. I started connecting to this – as if I was being divinely guided through my own transitions of dark and light. I began to notice the ebbs and flows of my emotions. There were good days and bad days.

And then one day, two years later, I had an ah-ha. After several conversations with my own mother and other mothers whom I had encountered along the way, I began to wonder, “Are there other moms out there who may be having a similar experience?”

I decided to create two focus groups of mothers where we could have honest discussions about motherhood, careers, and life purpose – and how they all fit together. These dialogues eventually led to a series of articles and then to the creation of my coaching practice – where I could work with moms on a deeper level.

This is when I decided to write my book. I wanted mothers to realize that every human transition begins in darkness and gradually moves into light, where we get a glimpse of what is possible. And then we retreat, to ponder the many ways we can manifest these possibilities into reality. This requires deep work, where we step into our own truth and into our own power – and where we can emerge in the most authentic way possible. This is what I call the Blue Moon phase – when we finally realize that we are here on this Earth to be WHO we are, to put our personal thumbprint on the world in the most truthful, most authentic, most unique way possible. Each one of us are individuals being divinely guided on our own purposeful path.

And looking back on my motherhood journey over the past 12 years, I can now say that everything I experienced along the way has factored into my bigger life purpose. Each experience, as painful as some were, led me to the point of where I am now.

Cindy Eve: Do you think that mothers have all this guilt because of the breakdown of the extended family?

Tina M Games: We’ve definitely become a more transient society. And with so many mothers living in areas away from their extended families, support systems are certainly affected. But I don’t think that guilt stems from this.

Guilt is a normal emotion for every mother. We’re always feeling guilty about something we’ve done – or not done – for our children. As mothers, it’s very natural to put our kids above ourselves. And while this may be necessary some of the time, it’s not necessary all the time. As the airlines so smartly proclaim, “Always put the air mask on yourself before assisting a child or another adult passenger.” In other words, “Take care of yourself, so that you can assist in the caretaking of someone else.”

I’m a big believer that each and every one of us are living OUR life story – in whatever way that story needs to play out. And for many of us, this story involves lessons. In order to learn OUR lessons, we must journey through the challenges. This is where we grow – emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. And for mothers, these challenges often include guilt.

I often ask moms to describe what the guilt is about – and we work from there, trying to unravel its deeper meaning. What is the guilt trying to teach us about ourselves? What is it that we need to work through so that guilt doesn’t rear its head time and time again? And how can releasing the guilt help us become better mothers?

I’ve devoted an entire chapter in my book and an entire moon phase in my self-discovery process, to mother’s guilt. This is how big a role it plays in motherhood – and it’s why a mother needs to face it head-on. See guilt for what it really is – an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and why it plays such a significant role in our life story. There’s a lesson wrapped up, beautifully disguised as mother’s guilt. What is that lesson – for you? Once you discover it, you can shift the grip it has on you.

Cindy Eve: You talk about the healing process for mothers. Do you mean physical or emotional? If emotional – in what context?

Tina M Games: Our need for healing – whether it’s physical, emotional, mental or spiritual – often stems from self-neglect. Mothers get a lot of mixed messages from society about our role. Many of us have been taught that to take care of ourselves is considered selfish. So we continuously put the needs of others ahead of our own – and many times, we completely wear ourselves out to the point of physical exhaustion, overwhelm, frustration, resentment and depression.
I can’t stress enough how important self-care is to a mother. It makes her a happier, healthier person – all the way around. And her kids, her family and her community really reap the benefits!

If we could all get in the habit of scheduling time for self-care (which includes journal writing) – with the same priority that we give everyone else in our lives, we can create an even stronger ripple effect. Not only are we honoring ourselves, we are modelling a great habit for our children.

In my book, Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother’s Path to Self-Discovery, I offer a series of journal writing prompts (called Moonlight Musings) that follow a self-exploration process. Each of these prompts are designed to take a mother to a deeper place within her being – and take anywhere from five minutes to 30 minutes, depending on how connected a mom might be with a particular question.

I’ve also designed an accompanying deck of 54 journaling prompt cards. Each card offers a prompt that guides moms on an inner journey to discover more about herself and how to honor her gifts in our external world.

When a mom can connect with her own self-worth, taking good care of herself moves up the priority list. She begins to recognize the value of being emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy.

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I hope you enjoyed this interview with Tina M Games and that you’ll check out her book and card deck Journaling by the Moonlight: A Mother’s Path to Self-Discovery this month at http://moonlightmomscircle.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.html

Here’s why:

FREE 3-DAY PASS
When you visit the page at the link above and request a “launch reminder”, you will automatically receive a FREE pass to Tina’s 3-day “I’m a Mom… But Who Am I Really? Telesummit” with 11 creative writing moms and grandmothers speaking on how to use intuition, journaling and creativity to explore life purpose. You can listen to the telesummit online in the comfort of your own home, and even ask questions during the broadcast.

This telesummit is a completely free “no purchase necessary”
gift from Tina, to celebrate the 1st birthday of her book.

FREE GIFTS
When you buy Tina’s book or the card deck during its birthday celebration on Tuesday May 3, 2011, you can ALSO receive a complete library of beautiful personal development gifts from authors, speakers, coaches and other enlightened professionals from around the globe.

To claim your 3-Day Pass and read about the free gifts, go to: http://moonlightmomscircle.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.html

Thanks for reading! As usual, please feel free to share your comments and thoughts below. I love reading your feedback.

AND… be sure to follow Tina tomorrow when the next stop on the Virtual Blog Tour is Theresa Ceniccola who will be interviewing Tina on mothers finding authentic purpose, guilt, creating authentic change and support system for mothers. To visit that “stop” on the tour, go to http://www.theresaceniccola.com/business/journaling-by-the-moonlight/.

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goodbye Elizabeth Taylor; au revoir Mommy

Posted in family and relationships, It's my life, news from around the world, tagged elizabeth taylor on March 23, 2011| 9 Comments »

It was with the greatest sadness that I learned today of the death of an icon; Elizabeth Taylor. The first I heard of the news was in a text from my sister who lives in South Africa to ask if I had heard anything. I had not, but immediately got onto twitter and there it was 😦 – “Elizabeth Taylor Has Died at the age of 79 – NYTimes.com”

At that precise moment I was standing on the Stone Gallery of St Paul’s Cathedral looking out across London and marvelling at how lucky I am to live in this wonderful and beautiful city. My sister thought it was quite apt that I should be at St Paul’s on hearing this news.

As I read the newsfeed on twitter I felt an inextricable sense of loss. A deep sadness that threatened to overwhelm me at that moment and I found myself in tears as I looked out over the city. This may seem odd to anyone reading this blog, but Elizabeth Taylor, although I never met her personally, played a big part in my childhood. My mother was a huge fan of hers and we saw every movie that had Elizabeth Taylor in it.

As children growing up in the ‘backwaters’ of South Africa (I joke of course), to us, Elizabeth Taylor seemed almost always in the news; London, Hollywood and in fact ‘overseas’ in general always looked glittering and enticing, an unreachable world of glamour. It helped of course that she was incredibly beautiful and ‘appeared’ to lead a charmed life.

As children we, my sister and I, thought that my mother was incredibly glamorous, with her lovely long titian hair that hung down her back. When she dressed up to go out, we hung around admiring her outfits and jewellery; entranced as she ‘did her face’. We thought she was the image of Elizabeth Taylor and often told her that. Needless to say she scoffed at the very idea, but truly when she did her hair up in the swirls and curls of the swinging sixties fashions, she looked almost identical to Elizabeth Taylor, more particularly when she wore a turban on her head….an egyptian beauty in Jo’burg.

So as I stood there, hundreds of feet above the city, the wind was taken out my sails and I sat down on the bench nearby with a thump. At that moment it felt like a link, albeit a very tenuous link, to my mother had just broken. She, Elizabeth Taylor was only 79! that is still such a young age in today’s world. My mother died 27 years ago just a couple of months short of her 53rd birthday.

I have surpassed that age and next month celebrate my 56th birthday (urgh – I am far too young to be 56!!!) and it suddenly came home to me that it was time I made some changes in my life. I have been threatening to quit my job for a very long time now. I feel like life is whizzing me by, working 24hours a day/7 days a week with the occasional break and days off (of course I always make the most of those breaks & days). I keep finding reasons to not quit, like I have debts to pay, I want to save up for a campervan and/or blah blah blah! Frankly it is just total fear that keeps me from making the break!

And so, in that very moment, as the news hit home, and I sat there with tears running down my face, I made the decision to quit my job.

There is so much I still want to do and places I want to go and I am damned if I am going to my grave not having been to or done the things I want to do. “When people say, ‘She’s got everything’, I’ve got one answer – I haven’t had tomorrow.” Elizabeth Taylor.

So goodbye Elizabeth Taylor and au revoir Mommy, we miss you.

my Mother and daughter. taken 3 years before my Mom died.

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on becoming a published author…for real :)

Posted in family and relationships, It's my life, tagged all about london, becoming a published author, photography in london on February 25, 2011| Leave a Comment »

So a couple of weeks ago my daughter asked me to prepare 4 x 750 word articles & 2 photos, and 8 x 250 word articles and 1 photo, of my favourite blogs off my 3DaysInLondon.info website!!!

Easier said than done coz most of them are somewhat verbose!! and I do tend to ramble. But after a kick in the pants as a reminder…….I finally got them down on ‘paper’, edited as best I could and duly sent said articles and photos, not having a clue what she was up to. On receipt of said articles by the “NMA’ I got a message via text to ask if I can count?…. What!!!?? anyhow it seems I had not edited enough and they were longer than required and asked for! urgh.

Since I could not edit them any further myself I told her to go ahead and chop out what she thought fit. So that was that. Then I asked what it was for, but she kept *MUM*….and told me I had to be patient… hahaha!!
Yesterday I got a very excited message that read “HEEHEEHEHEE OOOOOOOOOOO HEEHEE” and then a 2nd message that read “HOLY ? I DONT THINK I HAVE BEEN THIS EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING FOR YEARS!” and yes, it was all in CAPS!!!

So I phoned to find out what was what and coz she was that excited, going away this weekend (lucky fish is in Norfolk) and could not wait for next week Wednesday (when were scheduled to meet), I said “come on over and sleep at my place tonight!” which she duly did.
Well blow me down with a feather dears!!! This little treasure of mine presented me with a book. Not just any old book, but a fully fledged, dust cover,

my first real book 🙂 .....published

hardback book and not only did the cover feature one of my photos, but inside it had my blogs and my photos!!!

my blogs and photos

how awesome is that! She has created a book: ‘All About London’ from my blogs! my blogs and my photos!!! how awesome is that!

This is the official start of being a published author. I know I had the ebook online some time ago…which will eventually go back up, but, this is for the 3 Days In London business that is coming along so well and at just the right pace for me. I am over the moon with sheer delight and would like to say a HUGE and MASSIVE “thank you honey” for this wonderful gift!

the credits and front photo

Further plans are afoot……so watch this space 🙂

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” Goethe

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Grandma’s house………..

Posted in family and relationships, Fun Stuff, It's my life, tagged memories are made of this, porcelain potties and grandma's house on February 21, 2011| 2 Comments »

ok, so the idea for this post came about this morning whilst I was lying in bed, busting for the loo but determined not to get up even 1 minute before the alarm went off!!! daft! As I lay there chastising myself for being so daft, I thought to myself…..”What I really need is a potty”! hahahahaha. and no I don’t mean potty as in daft, I mean a good old fashioned porcelain potty,

a potty - pic via antiques-now.co.uk

the kind that in the ‘olden days’ we put under our beds at night and used if we needed the loo……saved a long trip out in the dark of night to the ‘outhouse‘.

Blimey! can you even begin to imagine that in my lifetime (and despite the obvious, I am not actually that old) hahahaha, we didn’t have inside toilets. Truly. I remember when I was in boarding school back in 1964, when I was 9 years old, and I went home for the weekend with a chum from school to her farm. Their toilet was outside; a corrugated iron shack,

outside loo - pic via fotolibra.com

just like you see in the movies of that period, across the outside pathway that led past the kitchen and up 4 steps. So at night if you wanted to use the loo you had to get up out of bed (horrors), light a candle, put on your boots (in case of snakes – seriously…think Africa!!), walk down a long passage through the kitchen which was filled with all manner of spooky looking objects that came alive in the dark, a fridge that always chose to shudder and groan as you came through the door, open the backdoor that creaked on it’s hinges and with every ounce of your courage step out into the inky black night, with only a tiny candle to light the way.

a tiny candle to light the way - pic via flickr.com

So my first night there I, to my utmost dismay, needed the loo. I waited for as long as I could before actually wetting my panties, then I endured all of the above and ventured outside to the loo. I can tell you that never in my life (up until that stage) had I been so terrified. All manner of evil creatures with bad intent on their minds followed me down that passage, waiting at every corner to pounce and carry me off!!! And the worst of it was that you could’nt even run there and back, coz if you even walked too fast….the candle would go out!!!!!!! Anyhow, since I am still here…….

ooopsss and I have gone completely off ‘piste’ (duh! bad pun 🙂 ) so back to Grandma’s house. My grandparents lived in a massive, rambling house that had little passages and rooms going off in all directions. It was marvellous for small children and made an awesome place for hide-and-seek. My grandmother had a tiny room on one side of the house and next to that was a huge room (well it seemed huge to a 6year old), with 3 beds where I, my sister, my brother and my 2 cousins used to sleep when we visited. Oh! the tales I could tell you about those times……brilliant! Anyways, since the grandparents did not have a loo in the house at that stage we used to have potties that lived under the beds. They had lids that fit snug into the rim and when you lifted the lid to ‘go’, you almost passed out from the sulphuric fumes!!! Which in retrospect was probably a good thing since it took your mind off the spiders that used to lurk in the bowl. 🙂 hahahahahaha, just thinking about that is making me LOL!!!

Now bearing in mind, we were just littlies at that stage and getting out of bed in the dark for any reason was a nerve-wracking ordeal….you just never knew what had taken up residence beneath the bedsprings! To get out of bed to use the potty at night………mind-boggling! So you hung on for as long as you could, tossing and turning from the discomfort and just when you could bear it no more, you sprang out from under the sheets, grabbed the potty, lifted the lid…..had a squizz, slammed the lid back on and scuttled back onto and into and under the covers as fast as you could….shivers running up and down your spine, hairs standing up on the back of your neck and all the nights horrors escaped by a whisker!!! and in the morning, said potty had to bed emptied!!!! geez!

Thank heavens for indoor toilets. Not that it’s made much difference to my urge to get out of bed any sooner than I absolutely have to!!!

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things I miss……

Posted in family and relationships, It's my life, Personal Development, tagged memories are made of this on February 5, 2011| 5 Comments »

I am not sure how this came about, but in the last few days I have been thinking a lot about things I miss. I think it had a lot to do with an email I got with pictures of different cats. I adore cats and right before I left South Africa in 2001 (gosh that long ago!) I had 5 of god’s beautiful creatures living with us; me and my daughter (another of god’s beautiful creatures). And thinking about that got me to thinking about how much I miss the sound of a cat purring in my ear while it sleeps soundly and I am lying on the couch with the beauty lying stretched out along my body, fast asleep and purring loudly in my ear…and all the while I am dying to go pee but don’t want to disturb the cat!! 🙂 hahaha. that happened too many times to remember!

I miss our cats and how when they were kittens we used to laugh till we were hysterical at their antics. And then I got to thinking about other stuff I miss and coz my minds wanders as much as my ramblings on my blog, the range of things I miss are vast and across the years and miles.

I miss my Mother. I miss the sound of her laughter as she enjoyed something that had amused her. I miss her famous ham and pea soup and the cheese scones she used to make. I miss the smell of her and walking into the bathroom whilst she was in the bath and her hair was hanging loose (she had hair down to her waist). I miss how she always took so much pleasure in her grandchildren and how she used to help us (when we were little) and then the grandkids, to make christmas pudding – (she always made them in September so they could mature by Xmas). I miss watching her with her grandchildren. I miss watching her ‘put her face on’….as someone who never wears make-up I never really got that! But I enjoyed watching her do it. I miss how as an adult, when I came to visit, she used to take me round her garden to see her plants and the roses that she loved so much…..and I know now how much I did not appreciate that at the time. (Sorry Ma!) I miss how I could call her anytime I had a problem or felt sad and needed a shoulder to cry on…..she was always there. I miss that I am not able to ask her all the questions I have now that my daughter is an adult.

I miss the time before she met her 2nd husband, the person she was before. I miss walking to the shops with my sister; me 7 and her 4 years old, to buy bread and milk for my mother. I miss that we were really safe in those days and could get there and back without fear. I miss how my sister and I used to buy hot white bread at the shop and the shopkeeper put it into a brown paper bag and on the way home we would eat the crusts off the end of the loaf and along the edges….never really recognising that putting the loaf back into the packet so you could not see where we had eaten it, did not mean that my Mother would not notice that we had eaten it when we got home. 🙂 I miss the days before lost innocence. I miss walking in the rain with my mother and her letting us splash in all the puddles, not minding that we got soaked.

I miss the anticipation of the holidays with my father in Cape Town, holidays that never lived up to my expectations but were treasured anyway coz I loved my Dad desperately in those days. I miss my brother who died many, many years ago. I miss his mad ideas and his crazy, zany laughter that used to burst from his mouth. I miss the nonsense we used to get up to and the secrets we had.

I miss my grandmother and how it was before she died. I miss the great big rambling house she had where we could hide away with a book and never be found unless we wanted to. I miss visiting her on a sunday and being allowed to open the window-seat and choose a toy or a puzzle to play with. I miss her pantry and the knowledge that there were yummy cakes in there that we used to eat the icing off of! (this drove her to distraction and to us having our bottoms heated regularly). Boy she had a heavy hand did Grandma. I miss crawling into her bed in the mornings when I was little and having tea with her. I miss brushing her hair (also down to her waist) and how she smelt of lavender.

I miss having my own home. I miss the feeling of knowing that I was secure in this space and that I could just be if I wanted to. I miss that it was our home where we had cats and dogs and hamsters and fish. I miss the days when my daughter used to climb into my bed in the morning for a cuddle. I miss how we used to lie in bed together on the nights it rained and stormed and listen to the hail crashing down on the roof and the racket it made (we had a tin roof – an old mining house). I miss mowing the lawn. I miss my car…which is absurd since I love walking.

I miss the days when I could fix whatever was hurting my daughter with a cuddle and ‘a kiss to make it better’. I miss the days before she became sad from disappointment. I miss that I was able to make things better and give her hope. I miss how I could plan her birthdays and make them fun and exciting. I miss the days we used to drive from one side of the country to the other on holiday, a journey of 1,600 km’s and how we would put the radio on full-blast and sing at full volume to the songs. I miss watching her sleep as I drove and the feelings of protection I used to have. Not that I don’t have those feelings anymore, just that they are different.

I miss my sisters……they are all zany and all completely different characters and I miss their funny ways. I miss my great-niece and nephews, who are growing up fast and have no idea who I am. Ok, so they know about me, but if I walked towards them in a mall they would have no idea it was me!

I miss who I was before I got sucked into the personal development world. I miss how I was able to just live and be. Now I question everything I think and do, second guessing everything I feel and experience. I miss that I didn’t know that what you resist persists. I miss that I could just go off and be who I was. I miss what I had….total freedom. Which is quite odd since it was working through the processes at one of the PD courses that I discovered that my highest value is freedom. I miss that I didn’t know all that I know now. I have no idea if that makes any sense, but it does to me. I miss who I was before I got involved with MLM. I miss that I didn’t feel like a failure before I started and now after 8 different attempts I have to concede defeat and acknowledge that it’s not for me. “If at first you don’t succeed, before you try again, stop to figure out what you did wrong” — Leo Rosten Shame I can’t wish away the debt that came with it!! I miss how excited I was at this new discovery and how brilliant I thought the whole concept was, till I learned the secret! It’s a numbers game……..

I miss going to the drive-in (outdoor big-screen cinemas) and how we used to run wild about the grounds while my mother and her partner watched the movie. I miss how we could watch movies like Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music and it wasn’t considered corny and pathetic. I miss how we used to gather together, all the family in one place to watch Dallas. Awful programme, but we were addicted to it. hahahaha. I miss when my sisters were babies and I could play with them……big dolls they were. I miss how I used to dream about having a happy marriage and a big house.

I miss the days before I knew I would get old and appendages would begin to ache. I miss the days before I knew that I was not immortal. I miss going out for ice-cream with my Dad and how we always disagreed on which flavour was the best….chocolate or strawberry. I miss being able to wear a bikini 🙂 God knows no-one else would miss that now!!! hahaha. I miss the days when I was a credit-controller and how much I loved my job. I miss the days when I ate what I enjoyed and didn’t have the word cholesterol in my life….although my figure looks better for it 🙂 HAHA! I miss the days when I could sit down and read a book right through without stopping and not fall asleep after the first 3 pages (like I do now). I miss the days before I had to start wearing glasses and the panic I have when I can’t read the bloody words on anything without them.

I miss the days I used to dance with wild abandon, and didn’t look like an old fart who should know better, how I could head-bang to my hearts content and not wonder if folks around me thought I was mad (I only do that when I am alone now) heehee. I miss LP’s (long-playing records) and the feel and smell of them. The anticipation of choosing a record, slipping it out it’s sleeve and putting it onto the turntable and the thrill of waiting for the first strains to fill the air. I miss the days when you could go shopping and fill a trolley to the brim, and it didn’t put you into debt! I miss watching the delight on my daughter’s face when she used to ride on the mechanical horses at the supermarket. I miss how I used to sit at the back of the bus on the way home from school with my best friend and laugh till I wet my knickers (gross I know), but I loved how she used to wind me up and how we got thrown off the bus for making a racket.

I miss how my daughter and I used to lie on the lawn in our garden and watch the planes come in to land at the airport that was not too far away, and how between planes we would find shapes in the clouds. I miss how when I was a teenager, my mother and her partner took us girls to the end of the runway at Jan Smuts airport for a picnic and gave us lessons on how to drive; the joy of being able to hop in the car and just drive regardless of the crashed gears and dents. You can’t do that anymore coz of security issues; either park at the end of the runway or drive without a license! I miss reading bedtime stories to my daughter when she was little, and the excitement on her face as we chose that nights reading. How she used be awake and I fell asleep while reading the book. I miss how she thought I had all the answers. I miss our little secret signal that she invented as code for during times of uncertainty; that we could use to say it was alright.

I miss being able to just have a sunday snooze if I felt like it! I miss Ireland and the fun times I had with my sister and brother-in-law while they still lived there, the excitement of planning a trip across the Irish sea. I miss the days when I could just miss things and remininesce without thinking about what Tony R said……you can’t go thought life looking in the rearview mirror. I miss the days when I could just look back and remember stuff without thinking of that and worrying if I should or should not be looking back! and if my reasons for looking back were good or bad! I miss the days when I didn’t question my every thought and wonder if they are ‘personal development’ correct or not!

I miss the days when I used to sit and knit and watch TV without worrying about other stuff I should be doing. I wonder if I can even remember how to knit 🙂 I miss the days when I used to sit with my mother and sister and play scrabble, drinking copious cups of tea, how we used to play the glassy glassy game and scare ourselves almost to death when the blasted glass used to move!!! I miss the braais (barbeques) we used to have at my sister’s house. Not that I eat meat, but I enjoyed the laughter and the jokes and the nonsense we got up to! I miss how I used to jump into a swimming pool fully clothed and not worry about it. I miss how when we were kids my sister and I used to have to ‘stamp’ the washing in the bath on a Friday afternoon. We didn’t have a washing machine so my mother used to put the washing into the bath to soak during the day and after school we would have to ‘stamp’ the washing to remove the dirt. I am not really sure how effective it was but we had the cleanest feet in the neighbourhood. 🙂

I miss how on a Saturday afternoon when I was a teenager I would head on over to my best friend’s house to listen to the ‘Top of the Pops’ and how we would lie on the grass trying to guess which song would be TOTP’s and how we would shriek with delight when our choice came first. I miss how when my daughter was a little girl a box of smarties really did cure all ills. And how she knew what I was up to, even thought I tried to do it in secret, when I wrapped 20 little boxes of smarties into her clothes before she left to go to America the first time.

There are many things I miss, and there is a heck of a lot I don’t miss but if you have managed to read this far….I commend you and won’t go into the long list of things I don’t miss 🙂 ……so in closing……..

……..at the moment I miss the sunshine……..please come back, all is forgiven.

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awwww… I love this….

Posted in family and relationships, tagged relationships, trust on February 4, 2011| 2 Comments »

One stone is enough to break a glass……
One sentence enough to break a heart……
One second enough to fall in love……
One misunderstanding sufficient to break a friendship.

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.” The little girl said, “No, Dad. You hold my hand.” “What’s the difference?” Asked the puzzled father. “There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl. “If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.”

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond………
So hold the hand of the person in whom you trust rather than expecting them to hold yours…!

got this from an email my sister sent me….isn’t it lovely!! 🙂

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my new slippers………….

Posted in family and relationships, Fun Stuff, Holidays, It's my life, tagged socks on January 6, 2011| 2 Comments »

I am a collector of socks! I love them! I have socks from Italy and USA, SA and Ireland, socks with sheep, socks with cows, socks with zoo animals, socks with ladybirds, socks with jungle bells and many others besides.

I am one of those people who hates to wear shoes indoors so always walk about in my socks. As you can imagine this is quite hard on the poor socks and they usually wear out within a few months so I get through quite a few! as you can well imagine.

I bemoaned this fact to my daughter just before Xmas and look what I got

say hello to Rudolph and his little brother 🙂

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starting a new family tradition

Posted in family and relationships, Historical, It's my life, tagged birthdays, family history, family traditions, traditions on January 5, 2011| 1 Comment »

I always used to think that traditions were something that already were and it took me some many years to realise that anyone can start a new tradition…..they don’t have to be old and well worn!

I also used to think that to be a family you had to have a Dad and a Mom and a few kids and it was only some years after my breakdown when I was having counselling that the Doctor told me in reply to a comment I made about not providing my daughter with a ‘proper’ family; he said that families come in all shapes and sizes and just coz there was no dad and only her and me did not mean that we were not a family. That was a long time ago.

Over the last decade or so (hahaha, it’s so funny to say that), I have started a couple of traditions, and my daughter who is now all grown up has started a few of her own.

Today we met up for what I realised has become a ‘new’ ‘family’ tradition.

Going back a bit in time, I (officially) moved to the UK in 2002 and my daughter came to visit sometime later and we both ended up loving London and staying, and now consider ourselves to be ‘Londoners’! So we have essentially settled here and that means that our extended family, with the exception of my brother and his wife who live in Hungary, all still live in South Africa. This means that we don’t get to see them for birthdays and family events. Last year for the first time in ages my daughter decided that it was time to start sending birthday cards. Previously it was an adhoc affair with the occassional card being posted, birthdays generally being noted with emails and phonecalls.

This year I realised that we had in fact started a new tradition when on Sunday she said to me that it was time to buy all the birthday cards again for the family, write a message, sign and address and paste stamps – ready to go at the appropriate time. (she will do the mailing of the cards since I am rubbish at sending them off in time and some get there a few weeks after the event).

So Monday we went together to buy the first of the batch, yesterday she bought the rest of the cards and today we met up in town for tea and a ‘card signing’ ceremony. So before the year has really even started we have already bought all 19 cards, written our respective messages, signed, addressed, stamped and mailed the first batch for the January birthdays…. the first of which is on the 7th January the rest of the birthdays spread out over the year, the last of which is on 5th November! The eldest family member will be 93 and the youngest 5!

And so a new family tradtion has been born! How cool is that. 🙂

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01.01.2011 a walk along the Thames Path

Posted in around the UK, family and relationships, Holidays, It's my life, Travel, tagged 2011, a walk along the Thames pathway, first day of the new year, New Year 2011, Richmond Lock, walking to Kew on January 2, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Hello! hello! It’s 2011; 365 new days to fill with fun, adventure and new experiences 🙂

Last night my daughter and I saw in the new year with sherry and watched the London Eye fireworks on TV. I was going to go and watch them at the venue itself but decided instead that I wanted to see in the NY with her instead. Not long after the clocks struck the witching hour and we were into 2011 we snuggled into bed and off to sleep. I woke about 12noon, delighted not to have anything in particular to do and nowhere in particular to go.

We started the day with tea (of course) and Ouma rusks (a South African biscuit type biscuit!). Then I pulled on the multitude of layers needed to brave the weather and headed out for a walk. I made for the river and walked along the path towards Richmond Lock, crossed over via the footpath and then walked along the Thames path towards Kew.

along the Thames Path

Along the way, I passed many other people doing the same thing….how very sensible. I saw boats, and birds, a heron and a speed boat. I passed Isleworth and walked on the Meridian Line!

Meridian Line

The weather was cool out, not cold – overcast but mild with a fine mist in the air.

River Thames 01.01.2011 a misty overcast day

I walked for about and hour and half and then made my way back to the house, ready for a hot cuppa and lunch: grilled sausage with gravy, mash and peas…..yummy. then we re-arranged my daughter’s bedroom; admidst much laughter we moved the bed around, moved cupboards and wardrobe, desk and boxes – finally getting everything just the way she wanted it. Then I poured a decent glass of sherry, settled on the couch to watch ‘Independence Day’ and download my photos. Now I am watching CSI, listening the Magic105 and eating roses chocolates….could life get any better!

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31.12.2010 last day of the year

Posted in family and relationships, Fun Stuff, Historical, Holidays, It's my life, things to do in London, tagged around London, Big Ben, Churchill War Museum, Jewel Tower London, London Pass, Old Year's Eve 2010, spending time with my daughter, travel to Twickenham, Westminster Abbey on January 1, 2011| 2 Comments »

I very sensibly put in for a few days of leave over New Year determined not to work again….for the first time in years. Leaving Highgate on Thursday I made my way over to Twickenham, looking forward to spending a few days with my girl. The evening was very therapeutic for both of us; we covered some tricky issues and managed to discuss some painful subjects and without realising it, I made a comment that suddenly gave her a completely different perspective on her current situation and opened a new door, completely inspiring her!

Friday I decided to make the most of my London Pass;

my London Pass

the intention was to visit places I had on my list and try to see as many as possible…. a quick pop in and pop out visit and gather material for the 3 Days in London blog. I managed to persuade her to come into town with me and we stopped off at Waterloo station for Starbucks (of course) and a chat. We then parted ways….she to Tottenham Court Road to do some shopping (part of her Xmas present I promised was a DVD player), and me to one of my favourite places in the world…. Westminster. I had a list of 4/5 places to visit.

I walked past Big Ben

Big Ben - 11 hours and 17 minutes till 2011

stopping only to take a few photos and then made my way to the Jewel Tower opposite the Sovereign’s Gate at Westminster Palace. I had been passed the tower but never yet visited…and it is great. The remains of what was part of the wall of the Westminster Palace complex. It’s a really interesting place to visit and there are some great items on display, amongst which were remains of original 14th Century wooden foundations, removed when the building was underpinned in 1955.

14th century wooden foundations

There is a fab view of the Sovereign’s Gate from the 1st & 2nd levels.

view of the Sovereign's Gate

The stairs, ceilings and walls are original; it’s really weird to walk on stairs where Kings and Queens once trod.

the Kings Privy Tower

From there I walked towards St James’s park via the grounds of Westminster Abbey. I had intended visiting but the queues were too long and I did not have time to waste, so made my to the Churchill War Museum; a place I had so wanted to visit in the past but never had the time. It was awesome. I was allowed to take photos inside and made a few videos too. The bunkers are set out exactly they way they were during WW2 and are quite simply awesome!!

The War Cabinet Room has been laid to show exactly how it would have looked on Tuesday 15th October 1940 at 5pm, shortly before the meeting of the War Cabinet

There is a recording of Churchill’s speeches as well as others and on one you can hear an air-raid siren. Brilliant.

Then I went back to Westminster Abbey and finally the queues were short enough to join. I am so glad I went! I have visited the Abbey before, a few years ago and had quite forgotten how incredible it is inside. The Abbey is so beautifully designed and filled with the most amazing memorials and tombs, and intricate carvings that defy belief. I was totally entranced and enjoyed a very happy 2 hours wandering about, visiting the various tombs, the Shrine of Edward the Confessor, Henry VII’s Lady Chapel, Poet’s Corner, Chapter House, Pyx Chamber

Pyx Chamber

and the Cloisters. The High altar is magnificent and the ceiling in the Lady Chapel is breath takingly beautiful. The Coronation Chair is currently being restored and situated in a glass room near the Great West Door.

Great West Door

Afterwards I made my way back to the river via Big Ben and walked along Victoria Embankment, intending to find a suitable spot to stand and wait for the London Eye fireworks

31.12.2010 - London Eye at 4.30pm

….except that I suddenly didn’t feel like standing for what would at that stage be 8 hours!!! So instead I went up Charing Cross to the South African shop to buy some eats, then along to Trafalgar Square to see the Norwegian tree that they send over each year at Christmas

the Norwegian Spruce Tree at Trafalgar Square - sent over each year at Christmas as a gift from the Norwegians

and then back to Embankment and onto the tube to Richmond and home.

We sat on the couch listening to music, chatting to my sister & her hubbie in SA via skype and then saw in the New Year and watched the fireworks on TV! Exactly what I had said I did not want to do…..see the fireworks on TV, but I was with the most important person in the world to me and we had a fab evening. A few hours later we finally crawled into bed, eyes heavy and ready to sleep, already well into 2011!

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