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how terrified can a mother be?

Posted in family and relationships, It's my life, tagged about being a mother, enjoying life to the full, skydiving in spain on September 24, 2011| 3 Comments »

A few weeks ago my daughter, who has recently joined a meet-up group called U-Dare, told me she had signed up to go skydiving!! Wow, fantastic. Thats something I have yet to do, it is on the very long list of adventure sports I have yet to try….like zip-lining (really want to do that!) and white-water rafting. I’ve been paragliding (we both went back in South Africa when CJ was about 15), wev’e been abseiling, I’ve been para-sailing (in the Bahamas about 7 years ago), caving (in my teens), and all sorts of other stuff, so when she told me she was going skydiving in Spain, I was way envious.

skydiving in Spain (this is not her obviously) 🙂 pic from http://www.emocionday.com/en/skydive-spain

The days rushed by and before we knew it the time had come for her to leave and in a flurry of packing and sorting she left on Thursday night with the group. Much bubbling excitement and texts in CAPITAL letters!!! her excitement was palpable. I was trepiditious to say the least, not that I was worried about the skydiving but at the back of my mind was the knowledge that she suffers from recurring blackouts. We had not discussed this and I managed to push it firmly to the back of my mind….. until the time came for her to go up!

She had a safe flight to Spain and I got a considerate text to say the the first landing had gone well and they were in Spain. Great, enjoy! So yesterday morning (the day of the jump) I get a very early morning text to say: ‘yay! we’re on our way!’ and then ‘we’re here, cant wait I’m so EXCITED!!!’ and then….like a punch to the chest…. ‘Buga, cant do it if I don’t have a Doctors note to say it’s ok coz of the blackouts’ – what should I do?” Uhmm, your’e asking me? It’s your call honey. So after many texts and a hurried conversation, she decided to go for it anyway. Hmmm, the mommy side of me was screaming…don’t do it!! the Cindy side of me was like – go for it!. So she did! eeekk.

Making a decision to just do it, she signed on the dotted line and got ready to go. By now I was a trembling mess of nerves; shaking from head to toe I remonstarted again to PLEASE text me IMMEDIATELY you get down….but hey! have a fabulous time and enjoy. God, my nerves were shattered, but I didn’t want to be a dash of cold water on what was meant to be a fun weekend, albeit that every fibre of my being was wanting to say don’t go!!

Then I got a text to say… ‘eeekkkk me next!’ and then I really started shaking. I was on the verge of tears and desperate to say “don’t go!”. Instead I texted my sister in SA and distracted myself that way. After what seemed like hours, but was in reality just under an hour I finally got a text to say she was back down and “I LOVED it…I want to go again!!!” Geez girlie. Your old ma is just about having a nervous breakdown after one jump and you want to go again….spare me!!

So she got down in one piece, although the initial part of the jump was marred by the most terrible pain in her sinus’s, so much so that she couldn’ t life her head and screamed blue murder for the first 200feet, but once the chute opened and they started floating, the pain went away and she got to enjoy, what she says, ‘is the most beautiful sight you could imagine’. The earth looks so beautiful from 13,000 feet apparently! Hmmm, well I shall have to see for myself now won’t I. But by golly I was glad she was back on terra-firma. So, I exhorted her to please keep in touch and send me regular text messages to say all is well. I was still very concerned about the blackouts and that she may have one later on in the day. (what she didn’t tell me in the morning was that she had already had one since arriving the night before)…dear Lord!!! thankfully you didn’t tell me before now.

So last night while I was babysitting I sent a message to ask if all was well….no reply. ??? So I sent another to ask ‘please text me when you get home, I guess your’e probably out with the group having a good time. Just text me when you home that your’e ok…I will leave the phone on during the night.

Nothing!!! So this morning when I woke just after 6am, I jumped out of bed to check if any message had come through during the night …nada!!! 😦 My stress levels went through the roof! I got back into bed and was just saying in my head: ‘please, please, please text me’ when hooray…..a text came through. Whew!! All was well, she had a very bad sinus headache and went to be at 6.30 pm the night before. So all my texts had gone unnoticed coz she was sleeping.

I was so thankful to hear from her this morning, and to hear that all was well. I had tried to be really disciplined about keeping my imagination under check. Sometimes it’s really hard being a mother. It’s like you want your kids to get out and experience life to the full, but at the same time you want to hold them close and keep them safe.

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the price of freedom……

Posted in family and relationships, It's my life, wealth and finance, tagged being employed, finding work after 56, freedom is a sweet word, the price of freedom on September 2, 2011| 4 Comments »

freedom!!!!

Whoo hooooo!!!! I got the job!!!! yes yes yes. With much delight this morning I accepted the position from yesterday’s interview. Mucho magic. I love the sound of the position and was really hoping to get it. What this means is that a) I can ease myself back into the office environment b) I get my evenings and weekends back c) I can learn new systems – in this case SAGE and Mac d) I can freelance now at whatever I want e) I am no longer on duty 22/7 f) I no longer have to put up with shitty family members or friends who treat you like a lower class whatnot g) and as far as banks and such like are concerned, I now have a ‘real’ job. And bonus….I don’t have to go for any more interviews! Wheeee!!!

The funny thing is that the position of ‘Carer’ doesn’t hold much weight in this country and it’s not really viewed as a viable job. I can see their point, working as a self-employed carer is a variable career, any number of things can happen; like you have to sit around and wait for days on end to get the next assignment, you have assignments that you have sat around for a week waiting for get cancelled at the last minute, you have to be on tenterhooks 99% of the time coz if you by so much as a word upset your client in any way….your’e shown the door without so much as a by your leave. So to get back into the office environment is brilliant.

However, there is a price for my freedom……£14,600pa worth of price. Yes! To my dismay they offered me £3000pa less than what I would have expected considering my experience, but have said after the 3 months probation they will increase it to the expected level (not £14,600 worth sadly (I wish)…that amount now includes living expenses such as rent, food and transport etc). What this means is that for the next 3 months+ I am gonna stress out big time!
But!!!! and this is where it gets good…..I will not be ’employed’ but will work on a ‘contractual’ basis and instead of being an employee….I will be freelance and still retain my self-employed status. This is very good on all fronts. It means that I can now do whatever other work I want in the evenings and weekends to generate the discrepancy in my budget! 🙂 yay. So this means I can plan tours for 3 Days in London, I can freelance at other companies in the evenings or weekends, I can take on baby-sitting work, or cleaning (I am a damn good housekeeper) heehee, I can FINALLY get back to the Internet Marketing membership I paid for a year ago and not yet been able to maximise. Actually read ‘not do at all’. So the world is my oyster as they say and I will be a free agent able to work unencumbered by 22/7, and in this way I will be able to generate the short-fall in my budget!
Whew! As they say in the classics!

On the family front….I am delighted to say that I am now an aunty again. My niece finally decided to get herself born and arrived at 01.25 this morning, weighing in at 3.37kgs and 6minutes before I sent an email to my brother and sister-in-law to wish them all the best for the impending arrival.. hee hee she was already here! So welcome to the world Aletta, you are a much anticipated and very welcome member of ‘da family’!
So now I have to plan a trip to Hungary (finally) to go visit and meet my new niece, and of course to also meet the two older children who were adopted at the beginning of the year! Awesome….3x an aunty in one year….not bad eh! It was very special talking to my brother this morning and we were both in tears!! I am so very happy for them. He reminded me that it was exactly 2 years ago to the week that they lost their first baby, which was terribly distressing. But all is good now and they have their delightful daughter to love and enjoy.

I mentioned in my previous blog that I am cat-sitting in Twickenham this weekend for a friend and after my stress at not getting into the flat last night I was exhausted, (I had visions of sleeping on the step!) but hey guess what?….I was free to do whatever I wanted, so I got onto the internet and did some emailing, tweeting, and fb’ing wihtout any worry about having to get up the next day at a specific time……I could get up anytime I pleased. Then finally to bed at about 1am and woke this morning…..free as a butterfly! And hahahaha, at 07:35! can you believe it? Now that I am free to wake up late……I wake up early! Hah!! typical! I spent most of the morning on the internet working for New Media Angels (I am the twitter angel) then met up with my daughter later in the morning and went to Sweetie Pies for tea and yummies to celebrate my new job! Then it was back to her place and work work work for 3.5 hours earning my freedom!

I can now advertise The Money Box in earnest (you can ‘like’ it if you like!) and of course the plan is to get my books up on Amazon and blurb as well as the intineraries onto kindle.

Hooray! I am free, and freedom is a sweet, sweet word! 🙂

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saying goodbye.

Posted in family and relationships on July 14, 2011| 7 Comments »

So, the trip to South Africa was timeous after all. The reason we visited last month was to spend some time with not only the family and friends, but also two lovely people who are both in their 90’s. My daughter’s grandparents have both been unwell over the last year with falls and various other ailments. The last time we saw them was 3.5 years ago on a trip in 2008.

The time we spent with them on this trip was very precious and we had some lovely times with laughter and talking and shared experiences.

Sadly, today we found out that her grandfather passed away this week! 😦 This was not unexpected, but devastating nonetheless. So we had the time to say goodbye, although we didnt know how soon he would go, and how grateful we are that we made the trip. So goodbye to a wonderful man; Alan you will be dearly missed.

in loving memory of a lovely man - Alan Daubney

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I am back……from RSA!!

Posted in family and relationships, Holidays, It's my life, Travel, tagged holidays in south africa, long-haul flights, travel to doha in qatar on June 27, 2011| 6 Comments »

hi folks, long time no blog!!! I have an excuse…..it’s called a holiday or in this instance a ‘trip’. There was no holiday tagged on at the end….too much rushing around.

So here are the stats as worked out by my daughter:

11 days, 7 airplane flights, 4 of which: long haul flights, 5 airports, 3 provinces, 3 countries, 5 friends not seen in 10 years (or more), 21 family members, 3 Wimpy visits, 3 MilkyLane visits, 2 Spur visits, £77 spent on my phonebill (her phone bill…not mine), add to that 1 island (the UK), 2 continents, a lot of driving and very little sleep!!! And 1 lost baggage!!!!

CJ at Wimpy in Johannesburg

What a trip. We flew out from Heathrow at 15:05 on 14th June first stop Doha in Qatar. A short wait and then overnight to Johannesburg for a connecting flight to Durban where we were collected at the airport by my daughter’s father. We spent 3 days in Durban visiting the old folks and then flew to Cape Town. Met at the airport by my sister and hubbie we met up with CJ’s friends at the Waterfront and eventually drove through to Somerset West where we stayed for 3 days and then to Johannesburg, again met at the airport by the ‘Daddy’, stayed at his place for a day (this was the only time we knew for sure it was winter-it was freezing), then off to stay at my sister’s house for a day, had supper and the kids all visited. Left Thursday23rd at 4pm for the 21:50 to Doha where we had an 11 hour lay-over and after 40 hours of no sleep we arrived at Heathrow at 22:23 Friday night!!!! sans my luggage! “Oh, it got left behind in Johannesburg”. hurrumph!!!

Our transport went as such: taxi, bus, plane, bus, bus, plane, bus, car, legs, car, bus, plane, bus, car, bus, plane, bus, car, car, bus, plane, bus, bus, plane, bus, taxi….home!

We evaded elephants in the urban jungle of Durban,

elephants in Durban

watched monkeys climbing through the trees, got woken by the hah-dee-dah birds in the morning, paddled in the Indian Ocean, rode on a rickshaw,

a rickshaw ride

saw sharks swimming about in the hold of an old delapidated boat that is now an amusement area, watched the lunar eclipse, walked on the beach at Gordon’s Bay,

Gordon's Bay

strolled through the gardens in Cape Town, ate too much, had way too many milkshakes, a bit too much wine in Cape Town (my sister’s fault), a BBQ with family and friends, rubbish airline food, watched Blesbok running about and fighting in the veld,

blesbok in the veld....it was far away

watched the sunrise on at least 5 of the days, and sunsets on most, watched ‘Zeitgeist’ the movie in JNB (exceptionally great movie btw), and 4 movies on the planes: none of which I can remember the name of!

I traded-in my old trainers that I have had for 8 years for a new pair at Johannesburg airport domestic departures,

these shoes were made for walking......farewell old friends

bought 3 items of clothing in Cape Town and declared a no-more-buy policy at the prices, almost passed out from shock at the price of food and living in RSA compared to how it was a few years ago (now comparable or more than London), watched my budget go through the ceiling and was totally impressed by the level of service we received wherever we went.

We listened to stories and tales of life in RSA, then told our own, shared photos and captured more, caught up with old friends, made a few new ones, enjoyed quality time with the family; bemused at how quickly the kiddies are growing up and left just a teensy-weensy bit homesick……first time in almost 10 years, and considered the possibility that I may just be able to live in SA again….but only in spring and only for a short time….like a long holiday 🙂

We saw how bad the pollution is world-wide, and how blue the sky is above it, deserted deserts, lakes and dams, snaking rivers, the Black Sea (pretty damn awesome), the English Channel, the Persian Gulf and Gulf of Bahrain, snow on the mountains in Turkey, flew over Iraq (????), and Europe, walked in the Indian Ocean, saw the Atlantic Ocean from the air, massive mountain ranges in South Africa and spent 15 hours in the Middle East!

Doha Airport

So that was the trip……now for the holiday. Guernsey in August! yay.

oh! and p.s. the bag was delivered the next day! whew 🙂

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I’m checking in at the Holiday Inn

Posted in family and relationships, Fun Stuff, It's my life, Travel, tagged checking in at the Holiday Inn, getting old, Holiday Inn holidays on June 27, 2011| 4 Comments »

hahaha!!! sometimes it’s the fwd mails that get me…….

No NURSING HOME FOR me!!!

No nursing home for me. I’ll be checking into a Holiday Inn!

With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I’ve already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it’s $59.23 per night.

Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon. That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.

Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

$5 worth of tips a day you’ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
There’s a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.
While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.

And you’re not stuck in one place forever — you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they’ll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool..

What more could I ask for? So, when I reach that golden age, I’ll face it with a grin and check-in at the Holiday Inn 🙂 see ya!

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Thought for today

Posted in family and relationships, Fun Stuff, Inspiration, tagged take time for the simple things, walking in the rain on June 8, 2011| 9 Comments »

It’s the simple things in life. I have often posted a blog with content that I receive via email from my sister. This is one of those!!!

A little girl had been shopping with her Mum in Woolies. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence.

It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there, under the awning, just inside the door of the Woolies. We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day.

I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing, so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

Her little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, ‘Mum let’s run through the rain,’ she said.
‘What?’ Mum asked.
‘Let’s run through the rain!’ She repeated.
‘No, darling, we’ll wait until it slows down a bit,’ Mum replied.
This young child waited a minute and repeated: ‘Mum, let’s run through the rain.’
‘We’ll get soaked if we do,’ Mum said.
‘No, we won’t, Mum. That’s not what you said this morning,’ the young girl said as she tugged at her Mum’s arm.
‘This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?’
‘Don’t you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, ‘If we can get through this, we can get through anything!

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn’t hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one left. The Mum paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.

Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child’s life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

‘Darling, you are absolutely right. Let’s run through the rain. If we get wet, well maybe we just need washing,’ Mum said.
Then off they ran.

We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles.

They got soaked.
They were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health.

But no one can ever take away your precious memories… So, don’t forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday.

To everything in life there is a season and a time & reason to every purpose…….
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

enjoy the rain

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a funny thing….age!

Posted in family and relationships, tagged time on June 5, 2011| 10 Comments »

I got a text from my daughter this morning: “Sunday morning wishlist: memory cards, fisheye lens, camera that can do low aperture, spare battery. Yours? :)”

this text made perfect sense to me since she is an aspiring photographer (and a very good one I might add).

My response to this text was: “tea and cupcakes with my daughter!”

she responded with a text to say…be serious, it must be something you want…. and I wrote back to say I was! that is what I would want!! (and a campervan) and after a couple of smiley faces back and forth it suddenly struck me at how things change as you get older.

The things you want become more about time; time to spend with loved ones, time to share and time to do rather than have!

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Versatile Blogger Award

Posted in family and relationships, Fun Stuff, Inspiration, It's my life, news from around the world, photography, spirituality, Travel, tagged versatile bloggers award on June 4, 2011| 16 Comments »

Versatile Blogger Award

I have some great news that I’m thrilled to share you! My blog has been awarded the Versatile Blogger Award by Olga SE at Self Expression. I have been communicating with Olga via our blogs for some time now and we have shared stories about our respective countries, and she did a lovely piece about St Petersburg just for me when I expressed an interest to visit there.
This is the first time I have received a blogging award and was absolutely delighted to receive the award from Olga, and this has inspired me to continue sharing news about the wonderful city I live in and about the random things that happen in my life and in the world that interest me. It seems like a great way to recognise blogs we enjoy and I’m going to complete all the requirements the award entails though I’m not pressured in any way to that
1. Thank the blogger who gave the award and link to his or her blog. I’ve done that.
2. Share seven things about yourself. Hmmmm, what can I share
. I started blogging back in November 2008 after receiving complaints from my family and friends that my emails were too long and too frequent. 🙂 So after much encouragement from my daughter, I decided to give blogging a go and share my adventures with the wider world. Once I got started I discovered many other fantastic blogs along the way and now subscribe to a wide variety of those, from New Zealand to Canada I get to learn about fabulous holidays to foreign destinations, gardens and the wonderful creatures that inhabit them, travelling, Social Media, photography and much much more.
. I have a wonderful daughter who is an inspiration to me.
. My passion is London and travel and my dream is to travel around the world in a yellow VW campervan, blogging and taking photos of everything I see (and getting paid to do it).
. One of my goals is to visit 100 islands and to date I have visited 15.
. I enjoy photography and hope to one day become a published photographer, although I have already have a published book of London photographs, they are personal to me and I would like to improve on them.
. I enjoy writing poetry and wrote a poem once about a little boy called Panashe whose mother had died of cholera in Zimbabwe. I saw the story and his photo in a newspaper article, that inspired me to write the poem. I mentioned the photographer; Robin Hammond who had taken the photo, and she contacted me afterwards which was really exciting.
. In 4 months time I will celebrate 10 years since my arrival in this country, a huge undertaking at the time and something I have never regretted. I love the UK and London with a passion that has never dimmed since I looked out the window of the Piccadilly line to Heathrow and thought “I could live here”. and now I do 🙂

3. Pass the award along to other bloggers whose work you enjoy and link to them. I will do that with pleasure as now I know quite a number of bloggers who are really versatile and deserve this award. (Olga passed the award along to 15 bloggers!) wow 🙂

This is my list:

TEStazyk – Thomas provides a down to earth and humorous point of view on happenings in the world, as well as superb stories about his travels and life in New Zealand.

Jenny B – the zingy romp through life of a single Mom who delights in her family.

Matt M – my Canterbury pal, whom I met through the blog about my Canterbury Tales. Matt has a passion for travel and unearthing the most amazing snippets of historical information about Chaucer and his journey to Canterbury.

Cemanthe H – with a passion for photography, she shares some of the most amazing photos that pique the interest, inspire you to stop and think and make you want to find out more!

Ivonne M – who shares her thoughts, feelings and experiences over a truely versatile range of subjects with a vivid passion.

James C – who has some of the most amazing photos I have ever seen of Australia. James is a traveller of note with a quirky sense of humour and a passion for creating movies.

Barbara W – discovering the world, one culture at a time; some of the most amazing adventures and visiting some awesome places in the world.

Brenda H – inspires me with her marvellous tales of the garden. Whenever I read one of her articles I want to go right out and build a garden! So one day when I have a house of my own with a garden I will be avidly reading her blog.

Vivienne B – real life parenting, a blog that shares life with her family with an intimate intensity that sometimes reduces me to tears, a sometime humourous, sometimes searing insight of what it is like to be Mom to 4 teenagers.

Kristie W – who blogs about a very sensitive issue in life; something that we are all at one time or another affected by. She writes in a practical and open way providing insights and guidance.

You are free to do whatever you want with the award: you can pretend it doesn’t exist or write a post about it. Whichever way you choose, please don’t feel obliged to pass on the award, it is not necessary at all. Only do it if you feel like doing it.

4. Comment on their blogs to tell them of the award.

That’s it folks. Thanks to all of you for sharing your fabulous stories.

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going home…..

Posted in family and relationships, Holidays, It's my life, Travel, tagged family and relationships, travelling to south africa on May 8, 2011| Leave a Comment »

South Africa from inside a metal box

So the tickets are booked and paid for and on 14 June 2011 we are going ‘home’. Such a weird word to use in this context coz of course South Africa is no longer my home. I left South Africa in October 2001 and have lived in the UK since July 2002 and I now call London ‘home’. The last time we visited South Africa was in 2008 for my sister’s 50th and to catch up with family and friends. How much has changed since then. The purpose of this trip is to visit my daughter’s grandparents, both of whom are in their 90’s now and both of whom have had major health issues in the last year or so. Last year her grandmother fell and broke her hip, she recovered from that but has now fractured a vertebrae. Her Grandfather is still recovering from prostrate cancer and last month fell and broke his hip. They are so fragile now. So this trip is to spend some time with them. I recall the last time we saw them back in 2008 how they and we cried when we left, thinking it would be the last time we saw them, and this time it may well be. So it is with gladness and sadness that we make this trip back coz the reality is that this may indeed be the last time we see them….personally I hope it’s not.

Alan, Dixie and Cémanthe - Natal 2008

Of course the trip is twofold coz we have not seen the rest of the family for an equal amount of time and the children are growing up fast (my sister’s grandchildren) I have not seen my younger sisters since 2008 either and my Dad….not even sure where or when last we caught up! It may well have been here in London, but so much has happened in the last few years that it feels like a blur. I have seen my brother and sister-in-law; at the beginning of this year for about 5 minutes when they were in-transit to Hungary last January.
Now you may or may not know that South Africa is rather a large country and the UK could probably fit into it 6 times over if not more. So going home is always a challenge! Why? Well mostly because the family are dispersed over such a vast area and we spend a lot of our time travelling from one place to the other. For e.g. the grandparents and one Aunt live in Natal; my Dad, 3 younger sisters and 2 brothers-in-law live in the Cape – none of which is anywhere near one to the other; and my other sister and family all live in the Transvaal, as well as my daughter’s father, her brother and sister and their families. Besides which there are friends to visit and catch up with as well. So it’s a matter of a few days here and a few days there and a couple of days somewhere else, and before we even have time to breathe…..it’s back on the plane to the UK. So the result is that you only get to spend about an hour or two with the people you care about.
On the emotional side of things, I always find it a real challenge to go ‘home’ – one because it is no longer my home and I have no emotional attachment to the country at all, which I know folks always find strange, and two because the person I was back then is so completely different to the person I am now that I feel like a fish out of water, it’s like landing in a foreign country. When I am back in South Africa, it feels like a blanket has been thrown over me; I feel stifled.
London is now so home to me and I find it really difficult to go ‘back’. It feels ‘back’ in every sense of the word and I spend the next few months after I return to London trying to shake off the emotional turmoil of the trip. It’s always wonderful to see the family and to catch up with friends, but saying goodbye again is dreadful. That’s besides the feelings of claustrophobia I feel when I step off the plane.
I hate the vastness of the country, I hate that I cannot just walk out the front door and go to the store, I hate that I cannot take a train into the city centre and go walkabout, I hate that when I am driving in a car I have the fear of carjackings and have to make sure that the car doors and windows are securely locked. There are many other things that I loathe about going ‘home’ besides the above, but the biggest is the feeling that I suddenly lose my identity.
I lose my sense of self, my sense of freedom.
I recall the last time we went home, my daughter’s father was driving us from the airport to his house where we would be staying for a few days and the area we were driving through was wide open and spacious and yet the overwhelming feeling I had was one of claustrophobia. (see pic above) That came as such a shock to me! I was sat in a metal box, doors securely locked, with wide open country in front of me and I felt so closed in and trapped. A feeling that usually catches me as I step off the plane. I hate driving around in a metal box, doors and windows securely locked, fearful of carjackings, locking doors and windows at night; burglar bars and barbed-wire fences the norm. I hate that I can’t just walk to the bus-stop and get on a bus to the station, wait for the next train and whizz off into London. Total freedom! I can walk where I like, sit on the banks of the river, meander here and there without restriction and really enjoy my surroundings without fear!
I dread the flight; it’s 1.5 days of airports and planes, I dread the country (?), I dread saying goodbye, I dread going back!
And all of that aside, it will be wonderful to see the family; the hugs, the laughter, the catching up on news we don’t always get, re-establishing realtionships, playing with the grandchildren, creating new memories, loads of photos of shared moments in time and filling up the coffers of family love till the next time we……………go home!

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Katie, Katie give me your answer true……

Posted in family and relationships, Historical, interesting things that happen in London, It's my life, Travel, tagged catherine and william, duke and duchess of cambridge, prince william and kate middleton, Queen Elizabeth II, royal wedding, rw2011 on May 2, 2011| 9 Comments »

Katie, Katie give me your answer true, I’m half crazy just for the love of you.
It was a stylish marriage, We used my granny’s carriage,
and you looked sweet, good enought to eat,
so glad you said I do!

william and catherine royal wedding 29 april 2011

the newly married couple; Duke and Duchess of Cambridge - William and Catherine

The big day had finally arrived, one of the most anticipated events in the last 30 years!!! At first light the campers started to wake, spectators began to arrive and the dust rose into the air in swathes!!! and we kept an anxious eye on the weather!!
As the morning progressed the excitement mounted and the crowds swelled. They had been expecting an estimated crowd of 600,000 on the Processional route, in the event it swelled to over 1million!
I do believe that the reality of the importance of the occassion had started to sink in as the day wore on and as the excitement set in……this was our future King who was getting married! Diana’s eldest son and 2nd in line to the throne! How could you not be there!!!
The Mall was closed off, the Metropolitan Police, lunch packs in hand, started spreading out into their marked positions. Armed-Police marched by, some heading for the roof of Buckingham Palace, snipers and marksmen all positioned on the corners of the Palace roof. Suddenly we noticed that the Royal Standardwas aloft!

royal wedding william and catherine royal standard

The Royal Standard

Reporters reported; interviewing anyone they thought looked suitably attired or somewhat crazily quirky- and there were many to choose from!! Street sweepers went by to roudy applause, the crowd cheering anyone who walked by. We had Mexican waves, we had cheering, we had more and more people trying to squeeze into tiny spaces, the flag waving increased in intensity and the volume of sound swelled to deafening proportions. And you did not dare to leave your place to go to the loo!!!
Suddenly the music from the Abbey burst forth from the speakers lining route and we cheered! And then the procession began………
When the first of the Mounted Police rode by the sound swelled, when the Marching bands went by, the cheers escalated, and when the first of the Royal Family; Princes William and Harry left Clarence House the crowd roared!
With frequent glances at watches or phones, we impatiently awaited the girl whose day this was! Our Kate! Our Queen in waiting!! The excitement built by the second and we watched anxiously for the flags at the top end of the circle to start waving and for the crowds to start cheering. The Mall was filled with Marching Bands, Mounted Police, Regiments of the Crown, cars and coaches; Ambassadors, Minor Royals, and then Tah Dah!!! the Queen and Prince Philip went by and the crowd cheered,

royal wedding, queen elizabeth II, processional route to westminster abbey

Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip on their way to Westminster Abbey

flags waving energetically. Suddenly time had marched on and there was the car with the Maid of Honour; Pippa Middleton and the bridesmaids, and now we knew for sure that within seconds the girl we had been waiting to see with bated breath and rising anticipation was on her way. The excitement rippled like electricity through the crowd!!
And suddenly the level of sound rose with an enormous roar!!!! Kate was on her way! And finally there she was, looking radiant and exquisite, every inch a Royal Regal lady; born for this position.. smiling beautifully behind her veil she elegantly waved with evident happiness! Her father beaming proudly at her side. The crowd cheered and cheered, tears flowed and we all had one thought on our minds; her future. There she was, one of us, and within the next hour she would be one of them! Our future Queen-in-waiting, and she looked it!

the bride; radiant and beautiful - Kate Middleton

Within seconds the car was gone, enroute to Westminster Abbey and the moment her life would change irrevocably! She would soon become one of the most photographed and talked about women in the world, on a par with our Diana and we all loved her! Loved her because she had brought a sparkle to William’s eyes, a lovely girl who loved him, and it showed!
As the music flowed from the speakers the crowd fell silent and you could almost hear a pin drop as the crowds waited for the ceremony to begin.
Next we heard the voice of the Archbishop of Canterbury; and as William said ‘I will’ the crowds cheered, but that was nothing compared to the roar of the crowd as the soft trembling of Kate’s response came through the loudspeakers. Deafening! She said ‘I will’ and the country roared! What a brilliant moment; a historical moment, a moment that set the seal on a future that we can only imagine, and never truly comprehend! And I was there!! I will never in all my life forget the feelings and the emotions I felt in that moment, and as she said ‘I will’ the sun shone out from behind the clouds, just a short burst and I knew that Diana was there!!!

The rest of the service passed in a flash as we sang the National Anthem and then the words of ‘God Save the Queen’ rang out, voices raised in lusty jubilation, patriosim at it’s very best. Soon the formalities were over and as they left the Abbey, once again the sun shone out, the rays no match for the smiles on the faces of these two young people, happily in love and happy together!! William proud, and Catherine, as he had said at the altar; “beautiful”.
The exhuberation as the carriage procession made it’s way along the Mall to Buckingham Palace, along the Processional Route was electrifying, powerful and emotional. I got so excited by the magnificence of the horses, barely controlled at galloping-trot or whatever style of motion it is called; overwhelming! You could feel the energy of the moment, the sheer power as the carriage swept by, preceded by these magnificent creatures that looked as if they would break loose at any second!

royal wedding, the queens guards, the mall

all the Queen's horses and all the Queen's men...........

The smiles, the radiance of the bride, regal and royal, the elegant wave of a dainty hand and the pride on William’s face!
All too soon they were gone, followed closely by the rest of the wedding party; Pippa and the bridesmaids, Prince Harry and the page-boys, the Queen and Prince Philip in their glass coach, then Charles and Camilla with Mr & Mrs Middleton, and then the coaches with other members of the Royal Family.
Once they were all safely tucked up inside, a wave of humanity surged along The Mall, controlled, yet eager, thousands of people preceded by Her Majesty’s forces heading for the Palace. It’s is a sight so surreal, it’s hard to imagine. The crowds moved inexorably forward and the crush became almost too much to bear as people surged forward in their desire to stand below the balcony where the newly-married couple would soon appear.

a mass of humanity along The Mall; heading for the Palace for the balcony scene

I so remember the moment Diana and Charles stepped out onto that balcony almost 30 years ago and the feeling that came with it, and now here I was just metres away about to watch her son step onto that same spot his parents had stood all those years ago.
And of course the main reason for the excitement………..the kiss!!!!! Would they? Or would they not? But they did, and the crowd went wild, kiss her again they cried and he did, to a roar of approval and jubilation like no other!

royal wedding, catherine and william, duke and duchess of cambridge

the newly weds - William and Catherine; the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge

The heavy drone of the fly-past competing with the roar from the crowds; and then it was all over. The Royal Family, preceded by the Queen left the balcony to continue their celebrations in private. I loved the moment, as seen on TV, when Catherine walked out onto the balcony; her gasp of surprise was delightful.

And I cannot begin to tell you how fantastic it was to be standing there, part of this celebration of such momentous importance and joy. It is something I will never, ever forget! A day to be remembered and celebrated, I hope, for decades to come!

all photos in this blog are the copyright of Cémanthe Harries of Stop and Think Photography

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