But words will never harm me.
I was chatting to my daughter and grandson last night via WhatsApp video, always an absolute joy when I’m away. I miss them so much….
My daughter was telling me that she took him to the park in the afternoon which he loves.
There were some other children there, older than him by about a couple of years, playing with the bark and play pretending it was ice-cream.
My grandson (not yet 2 years old) trotted over and tried to make friends. He picked up some bark too and offered it to the little boy, who rejected it and dismissed him with a snarky comment 😔😔
His little face crumpled with disappointment and hurt. He wanted to join in and be friends. He’s such a sweet little soul and so generous.
My daughter related how her heart contracted with the pain of his rejection, the expression on his face.
And I knew exactly how she was feeling. My heart contracted with imagining how he felt and remembering how I used to feel when she was rejected at school and at any other time in her life. It pains me greatly to know that he’s going to go through these times as he grows up.
It reminded me of the little ditty my Mother taught me when I used to get bullied at school : ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me’.
I recall chanting that ditty many times over the years, until my daughter some years ago said that actually it’s not true. Wounds from sticks and stones do heal in time and you tend to forget about them. But the words remain stuck in your head to go endlessly round and round, sometimes interminably as you grapple to make sense of why someone has said such hurtful things.
My heart ached for this little boy, just starting out on his journey through life and it brings tears to my eyes thinking about the painful times he is going to have to contend with.
I wish I could teach him how to not take the nasty things people say to heart, but I’m useless at that coz I’m still struggling with something my sister said to me at my daughter’s wedding nearly 3 years ago….
My daughter said she’s going to teach him to “not give a shit what people say”, but ultimately some barbs hit hard and go deep and the pain never goes away.
My grandson truly is a sweet, gentle, caring, generous little boy, and it pains me greatly to know that along his journey in life he too is going to feel the pain of nasty words. I do hope his Mummy can teach him how to not let them affect him too much.
To learn that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but I won’t let your words harm me”. To learn that words deliberately or carelessly directed at you are more about the person saying them than about you.
I both agree and disagree with the old saying. Yes words can hurt. And like you, I had words from long ago rattling in my head over and over always cutting a little deeper. Some people even tried to “teach” me to not give a shit what others say by literally saying “stop giving a shit what they say!” 🤷♂️ That’s all well and good but how do you not give a shit when you clearly do??
It wasn’t til a few years ago when learning hypnosis that I actually learned “How” to not give a shit. And it’s not so much that you’re not giving a shit but dealing with it better once it’s done. And it’s actually quite a simple process that I honestly believe should be taught at school.
Simply relive the moment in your mind that caused the pain. Paly it through as if you’re there. Then stop the visualisation, rewind it back to before the event. Step out of your body and stand beside yourself, then float back even further as if watching on a big screen. Then proceed to play it forward and backwards over and over each time making the image smaller, grainier and more black and white until you can barely make it out. Then float back down into the screen and back into your own body and play the event out again through your own eyes and this time notice how the emotion is gone.
Once you’ve done it a few times it can be done in just a few minutes. I do it at the end of days so that I don’t carry any crap with me into my sleep so I can wake up fresh and with no attachments. This process alone was worth the thousands of dollars I spent on the education.
And the best bit is, children have the best imaginations so can do the process even better than adults if someone is guiding them.
That’s amazing James. Yes, its not something that can be taught easily…to ‘not give a shit’, but your process makes sense. Thanks for your wise words
Very encouraging words from Scripture. However, even tho they’re just words, they’re times when ita worth speaking up or moving on. Yes! Sticks and bones may break my bones but I won’t let words harm me!
Ahhhh. There’s the difference….”but I ‘won’t’ let words harm me”. A distinction…
Lovely to hear from you. How are you keeping?
I’m perfecto!!! You?
Excellent, glad to hear that. I’m well. Just watched a very interesting programme about the new Covid-19 vaccine developed ….very interesting. Lots to think about
Yes! A lot. I’m happy it’s out as well but I’m not too keen on getting a jab anytime soon. LoL
😝😝 its interesting that just about everyone I’ve asked has said the same thing….not keen
🤣🤣🤣