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Since that day in July 2000 when I had cause to call on you in haste, we have been close companions, never far from each other’s side as you have opened doors and guided me across borders.

I recall that when we first met it was under dire circumstance; my daughter had just been knocked down and run over by a golf-cart in Philadelphia, US of A, and I needed your help as a matter of urgency.   Fortunately she recovered after a short stint in hospital and although many laughed at the thought of someone being run over by a golf-cart….you hurried over and did not leave, mindful of the fact it was no joke at all.

As it turned out she swiftly recovered and in due course returned home so we did not have to leave the country.

Keeping close, we did eventually venture across the seas and our first port of call was Zurich in Switzerland.  There we did not tarry long, keen to be off and on our way to Dublin in Ireland, stopping briefly in London.    You saw me safely through Border Control and no-one doubted your authenticity.

Since then we have kept each other company as we travelled far and wide across the world.

We’ve made numerous crossings across the Irish sea, sometimes by plane, once by bus (an experience hopefully never to be repeated), and whenever we returned home to South Africa you were always there, sturdy in your constancy.

I thank you now for all those trips, holidays far and wide; first New York where we were met by my daughter and treated to a limosine ride from the airport, then taken on a tour of New York City. From there we flew to Florida, and you were always at my side.

Next we ventured into Europe: travelling first to Venice in Italy, then Paris in France via the Eurostar – to celebrate my 50th, Amsterdam in The Netherlands (just for fun), then Gibraltar (a British stronghold) to celebrate the Bi-Centennary of the Battle of Trafalgar, where to my dismay we were unable to cross into Spain :(. In between we went to the Bahamas on a cruise, and visited family back in South Africa.

A few years later we returned to Paris in France again and then onto Bruges in Belgium for a holiday. Since then we have been back to visit with my sister and brother-in-law in Ireland and to Phoenix Arizona for my Date With Destiny.

And now, as the times draws near for when you expire, I have to hand you over to the Authorities, hopeful that they will treat you with care.

It is with a heavy heart that I have to replace you.

And although this means that we will never travel together again, you will always hold a special place in my heart, fondly remembered for all the joy and laughter that has been mine to enjoy as we travelled to places near and far.

So to you I say; thank you – dear Passport…..farewell.

On the plus side; I get to change the photograph 🙂

On the negative side; I’m ten years older 😦

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Hello. I just finished reading a great article about the phenomenal rise in twitter users world wide.  It is interesting to note that more than 60% of users are from outside the US of A.

DYK? that India has 550billion mobile phone users; that the twitter website is available in 6 languages, and there are even twitter users in The Vatican and outer space!

Personally I love twitter.  I love that it is fast, I love the homefeeds although of course they sometimes move too fast.  I love that I can connect with people around the world in real time and have short bursts of conversation, find out whats happening and meet lovely people in the virtual world who are really real people.

One of the things I enjoy most about twitter are the very diverse and creative names that people come up with.  Sometimes it relates to what they do, or their philosophy in life, perhaps their beliefs and for some it is just a bit of fun.  It is amazing how many combinations the english language can come up with.

Many ppl pass on or re-tweet quotes and I love thinking about those quotes and what they mean to me before I RT them for others to enjoy.   It amazes me just how many quotes there are in the world and the diverse backgrounds the ‘quotees’ come from.  (I’m not sure if quotees is a word…if not… well now it is )

I enjoy the different applications that have sprung up around twitter and my particular favourite is hootsuite, possibly coz it is such a funky name.  I love the lists, makes it so much easier to find the ppl whose tweets you want to keep track of and also lets others know who you find most interesting; like @HelpSaveBees 

The follows are great fun too: like #ff or #followfriday where you get to mention ppl that you have had conversations with during the week, or ppl that you really appreciate and you get a chance to say thanks for retweeting my quotes or my links, or get to #shoutout your appreciation for their following or comments.   You get a chance to mention ppl who have impressed you with the content of their tweets or links, and say hello to friends.

Of course as Kenneth Wu will tell you; there is a dark side to twitter.  One of these would be the ppl who use twitter as a platform for abuse and rubbish content.  Fortunately you can just block such ppl.   I had one bloke who was beginning to stalk me, sending really idiotic tweets….so boof bang…blocked!

I always tell my daughter that I was born to twitter.  I started my account @notjustagranny just over a year ago and have never looked back. It’s fun, it’s funky and it’s really interesting.  I love the educational links that get posted and have learned more about the world through these links than I did before.  I could quite happily spend the whole day on twitter…….

I find it incredible how news gets posted around the world in the blink of an eye and you get to hear in real time about things and events that are happening on the other side of the world before you even hear it on the news……it’s like the 6 o’clock news is almost redundant.

I love that I can show my support for various causes and give a #shoutout when they have a particular campaign like @Socks4HappyPPL whose mission it is to supply a pair of socks to homeless kiddies in Mongolia. So for every pair of socks you buy they send a pair to Mongolia.  And we get to share and contribute to that.

It’s fun to see what people are getting up to, to be able to know what is being said in a seminar that you are unable to attend, to know who goes to #starbucks and who is jetting of somewhere nice.   It’s great to share in the events of the world like #earthhour; to see photos that you may not have seen ever and to connect with people around the world for a great cause.

I have inserted the link to the article in question and hope you enjoy it too. click here

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I was walking down the hill today returning from the village when I noticed 3 guys putting the finishing touches to a black Porsche that they were cleaning.  I sauntered on over and with a big smille on my face said: “Hey guys, you’ve done a great job, thanks a lot. Can I take my car now?”  The look on their faces: classic.  Two of the guys looked at me absolutely dumbfounded and jaws gaping.  The other chap caught on real quick and with a florish and a bow, said: “You’re welcome Ma’am, off you go!”  What a great life 🙂

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…out of the mouths of babes. My sister sent this to me via email, it was so divine I had to post it on my blog, enjoy:

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.
This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes.
I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand  what we are teaching???
Through the eyes of a child:
 
The Children’s Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas.  The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve.  Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.
 
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden…..Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham.  Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast.  Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston.  Moses led the Israel Lights out of   Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people.  These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.  Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbour’s stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humour thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies.  Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David.  He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot.  He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines.  My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.  One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.  
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament.  Jesus is the star of The New.  He was born  in   Bethlehem  in a barn.  (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, ‘Close the door! Were you born in a barn?’ It would be nice to say, ‘As a matter of fact, I was.’)
 
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.
Jesus also had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus.  Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man.  He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.
 
But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot.  Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus.  He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.  He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminium.  His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

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Well this has been quite a week. Initially when I got this position I was not at all keen to take it, but….I did.  I had been to Cambridge before, about two years ago on a one day bus trip and although it was interesting I was not much impressed with Cambridge and always said I preferred Oxford.

Now that I have been here for a week and had time to really look around and explore I find that I now hold a more favourable view.  I have had time to really look at the buildings, walk along the streets and the weather on some days has been quite lovely, which always helps.

Cambridge is of course a University town.  The University is made up of different colleges; namely: Kings College, Trinity College, St John’s College, Queen’s College and Magdalen College (pronounced Maudlin) – no, me neither…I have no idea why!

Anyways, having been meandering the ancient cobbled streets and occassionally sneaking in where I am not supposed to be, I have had a great time finding out more about this fair city and can now see the attraction.  I have had time to meander along the banks of the River Cam, stroll across the bridges, oooh & ahhh at the architecture and strain my neck to view the statues and decorations high above my head, adorning the sides of the buildings and colleges, have a quick sneeky peek at some hidden treasures and visit the market in the square fronting the Guildhall.

The highlights of my stay have been the view of the river in the mornings from the house; a glimpse inside the ‘Round Church’; a trip to the theatre to see ‘The History Boys’, a play by Alan Bennett; talking to the scientists at the Halley Research Station in Antarctica via video-link on Saturday morning; walking across the ‘Mathematics’ Bridge in the afternoon; ringing the bells at church on Sunday last and today a tour of Trinity College – (my client read maths there aeons ago) plus a return visit to the church to see the bells that I helped to ring! 🙂 

There was most certainly a Saxon Church on the spot, thought the present church dates back to the 13th Century.  We climbed an ancient winding staircase that has been around since the 1400’s right to the top of the tower, spent time viewing the bells and then climbed even further up some very rickety stairs to the medieval belfry to view the ancient beams that used to support the bells.  Fortunately I suffer from neither vertigo nor fear of heights!    At last count there are 5,000 people buried on the church grounds (and I was glad not to add to their number).    The grounds of the church are not very large so many of the dead must be buried one above the other as well as the many who are buried inside the church.

On our tour of the college, I enjoyed a cup of coffee relaxing in front of a friendly fire in the Masters Parlour (very posh – but not as well appointed as one might expect), a tour through the grounds of the college right through to the back (known as ‘The Backs’)  which leads onto the river Cam that winds past the ‘Backs’ of the various colleges, and thence to the Wren Library where I got to see some fantastic books, one of which is an 8th Century original manuscript of the Epistle of Paul written in Latin by an Irish Scribe back in the mists of time, a copy of the notebook wherein Tennyson wrote the original draft of his poem ‘Maud’ in 1855; (100 hundred years before I was born), the 1st folio of Shakespear’s comedies printed in 1623 and the letter Isaac Newton wrote to Hooke depicting the fall of a stone, whereupon Hooke declared this to be inaccurate and thus led Newton to further research, and eventually to write the book Principia.

After this adventure we then made our way to the main dining hall, which is a scene right out of Harry Potter, with even the table lamps on the tables.   The tables, of which there are about 6, are very long (like in the dining hall scenes from Harry Potter), seat about 40 people each.   One of the tables at the head of the room is raised on a dias and the other tables are all lengthways down the hall.    The roof is splendid with arched wooden trusses soaring above, beautifully decorated and in the centre of the roof a glass folly rises high above into a point, which can be seen soaring above the roof when standing on the lawns outdoors.   There are a number of waiters who hover around, silently seeing to the diners, clearing tables and resetting places.   There is the learned chatter of the professors and undergraduates, some of whom are the epitome of the characterisations you see in books; absent-minded, touselled hair, tweed jackets or twin-sets, ‘Proper’ English accents (which sounds like they’re talking with hot-potatoes in their mouths), and the conversation is of esoterical and weighty matters. 🙂

And there was me….in my very worn trousers that have seen better days, my ancient trainers that have walked with me right around the UK, the USA and Europe for the last 8 years, a black fleece jacket that is worn but not yet torn and a bright green t-shirt!!! My camera in hand and an accent to frighten the ‘natives’ 🙂

Trinity has been described as ‘rich, handsome and clever’, one of those could also describe the people in the dining room….I’ll leave it to your imagination as to which!   Now in it’s fifth century since being refounded by Henry VIII, the college reigns supreme as the largest and wealthiest of the Colleges, having famously produced more Nobel prize-winners than France.

The church where I got to ring the bells is the 3rd to have stood on that spot since approx 800AD.   The founding fathers of the Reformation used to meet there in the early 1520’s and at the Christmas Midnight Mass at St Edward’s in 1525 one of them, Robert Barnes, preached what was probably the first openly evangelical sermon to be preached in any church in the country, proclaiming the Christian gospel and accusing the Church of its heresies. St Edward’s can thus claim to be ‘the cradle of the Reformation’ in England.  And I got to ring the bells on Sunday….how cool is that!!!

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how fortunate I am….today I got to realise a long-held dream….to ring church bells.

I accompanied my client to church this morning, and without any warning as we entered he suggested to one of the vergers that I be allowed to help ring the bells!!!

I was gob-smacked and delighted, with no hesitation, I was up the stairs in a flash before they could change their minds.

What a thrill.   I had to stand on a special spot, and helped to ring the 5-minute bell calling the worshippers to service. My role was the back-ring, and I pulled the rope in harmony with the leader of the group. I had to hold the lower end of the rope firmly in my hands one above the other, and pull down firmly towards the ground and then she would pull the upper part of the rope and release it.  I had to hang on though as the rope lifted my arms above my head and not let go.  It was great fun and I felt the pull of the rope, lifting my feet off the floor.  I was reminded of Christmas cards that depict the Monks pulling the ropes and being lifted off the floor, skirts flying 🙂

Rope pulling is not just a case of yanking a piece of rope and hoping the bell will ring; it has a definite method and rhythm with a leader who calls time.  there are a number of different patterns and names for the different tunes played. 

The church where I enjoyed this little escapade has stood on that spot for over 800 years and has enjoyed a few re-incarnations, starting off in wooden form.

So dreams do come true….and sometimes at the most unexpected times. 🙂

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Some things are worth repeating:

“Note for pet owners.  The following information is to be read with a sense of humour!  This article is purely a bit of fun. We are confident lots of cat’s owners will relate to the unfolding tale!”

1.         Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.   Position right forefinger and thumb one either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.   As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth.   Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2.            Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.   Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3.            Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4.         Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand.  Prize jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.  Hold mouth shut for count of ten.

5.            Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.  Call spouse/partner from garden.

6.         Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.  Ignore low growls emitted by cat.  Get spouse/partner to hold head firmly with one hand while placing wooden ruler into mouth.  Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7.            Retrieve cat from curtain rail.  Get another pill from foil wrap.  Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.  Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set ti one side for gluing later.

8.         Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse/partner to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.  Put pill in end of drinking straw, prize mouth one with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9.         Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink beer to take taste away.  Apply Band-id to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10.            Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed.  Get another pill.  Open another beer.  Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing.  Prize mouth open with dessert spoon.  Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

11.        Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.  Drink beer.  Fetch bottle of scotch.  Pour shot, drink.  Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.  Apply whisky to compress to check to disinfect.  Toss back another shot.  Throw blooded T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12.        Ring Fire Brigade to retrieve the cat from tree across road.  Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.  Take last pill from foil wrap.

13.        Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed.  Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak.  Hold head vertically and pour 4 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of Scotch.  Get spouse to drive you to Accident & Emergency Dept., sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearms and removes pill remnants from right eye.  Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.  Arrange fro RSPCA to collect cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill

1.         Wrap something to eat around it.

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“If you think nobody cares whether you are alive or dead, try missing a couple of car payments.” Ann Landers

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Volunteers have reopened a railway line reconnecting a seaside town to the national network, more than 37 years after it was cut off.
More than 4,000 people in Swanage, Dorset, have helped rebuild the seven-mile line from Wareham.  They scavenged scraps to restore the track, rebuilt two dilapidated stations and constructed another three.
The chartered services leave from Victoria pulled by a diesel locomotive.
It is the first time since 1972 that trains have been able to run all the way from London to Swanage and the volunteers hope the line will be electrified and regular services will resume.
Mike Whitham, the chairman of the Swanage Railway Trust, said: “It is what we have been working 35 years for – the achievement of a long-held and treasured dream.   The railway has been rebuilt from nothing, bit by bit, bolt by bolt.”

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This little gem came to me in an email the other day!!! It’s really funny and well worth sharing:

“My son came home from school one day, With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough, To put me in my place.

‘Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today, The ‘Children’s Bill of Rights.’

It says I need not clean my room, Don’t have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think, Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion, And regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head, And I sure don’t have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want, And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like, Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me, I’ll charge you with a crime.
I’ll back up all my charges, With the marks on my behind.

Don’t you ever touch me, My body’s only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses, that’s just more child abuse.

Don’t preach about your morals, Like your Mum did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control, And it’s illegal too!

Mum, I have these children’s rights, So you can’t influence me,
Or I’ll call Children’s Services Division, Better known As ‘C.S.D.’

Mum’s Reply and Thoughts…………………

Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully, I couldn’t let this go.
A smile crept upon my face, he’s messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping At the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, ‘Pick out all you want, there’s shirts & pants galore.

I’ve called and checked with C.S.D . Who said they didn’t care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes Instead of Nike Airs.

I’ve canceled that appointment To take your driver’s test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned So I’ll decide what’s best.’

I said ‘No time to stop and eat, Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn To make your own flipping lunch

Just save the raging appetite, And wait till dinner time.
We’re having liver and onions, A favorite dish of mine.’

He asked ‘Can I please rent a movie, To watch on my VCR?’
‘Sorry, but I sold your TV, For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room, You’ll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won’t be trendy now, I’ll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get, Will buy me something neat.

I’m selling off your jet ski, Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the ‘Parents Bill of Rights’, It’s in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying, Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out, Instead of C.S.D..?’

Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers, Or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday OR ANYONE WHO’D JUST GET A LAUGH. I love this One!!!
From a MuM (Mean Unappreciated Mother.)”

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